回應大肚班同學送來一個網上的問候 - 大家都覺得﹐不知開始﹐有了小孩後人家總愛拿孩子做話題﹐指指點點﹐說這說那﹐好像所有人都是育兒專家﹐唯獨阿媽那一套是錯的。
當某人覺得他/她有權干預我育兒的方式時﹐其實我有時我真想駁一句 - 請問你覺得你是誰﹖ 如果你連尿片也沒替小楊生換過一條﹐請別諸多意見。
同學說﹐對於無謂的‘指控’﹐她會選擇反問﹕‘哪你覺得該怎樣才好﹖’。但楊媽媽本身性格比較‘掘’﹐常被一些剛和我熟絡的人說不認識我的時候以為我很‘臭寸’﹐所以如果跟朋友一樣的回應﹐恐怕會被打一身。所以我的選擇是‘當聽不到’﹐‘不回應’ - 就是那種‘意見接受，態度照舊’的樣子。
其實小小孩現在說甚麼道理也不會懂﹐試過聽人家說做錯了事試試打手打pat pat,不過小楊生以為我在和他玩﹐打後只會傻笑﹔還有會樣學樣周圍打﹐實在是行不通。
也試過用嚴厲的聲線say no,不過聽說say太多no會變成耳邊風﹐該留待最適合的時候才用no一詞才會奏效。那平日那些不是太過份但又最好不要做的事﹐真的不知除了沒收外還可以怎樣處理。
只是between楊媽媽和楊爸爸的育兒方式已有點出入﹐如果再要聽其它人的話﹐只會令小孩更加混亂﹐更加不聽話。所以楊媽媽寧願自己辛苦一點﹐也不想假手於人﹐搞不好學了一些壞習慣來﹐要改就更難了。
例如楊媽媽建持大人未吃完飯小孩不準落地﹔小孩未吃完餐點﹐也不可以玩 - 試過在香港時有些人屢勸不聽﹐總是要在飯局中騷擾小楊生進餐﹐甚至想將他劫走﹐差一點就要為此打架起來﹔而之後﹐我們決定不帶小楊生出席類似飯局 - 這就是我們為孩子設的‘ boundary ’﹐雖然未必人人會同意﹐但我們覺得我們不需要徵求別人的同意﹐因為孩子是我們的啊。
經過多個月的建持後﹐現在小楊生用餐的時候都會比同齡的小孩坐得比較定﹐不會吃一半就嚷著要人抱﹐不會讓爸爸媽媽吃不飽就要趕著走。如果不是阿媽老豆想‘借仔遁’﹐其實是完全可以吃完一餐喜酒也不會投訴的。所以我覺得我們一路以來的建持﹐是沒有白費的。
如果哄這個小人早點上床也一樣容易就好了﹗ 可惜開錯了頭﹐現在就很難改喇~ 還好現在阿媽一星期有一兩天是可以自然醒來﹐已夠楊媽媽去劏雞還神了~ (笑)
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