Anyone here play or used to play Magic the Gathering cards? I used to play and man was I good. I, among with a couple of fellow dorks, were supposed to represent the Philippines for the Japan Prix but no one wanted to sponsor us…ARGH. Well, what’s passed has passed. I ran into this video and I love it. Check it out.

Oh man, this game is going to be delicious. All those times I’ve imagined Magic creatures duking it out amongst each other can now be viewed in glorious and vivid detail! Too bad this is just a PS3 exclusive. I’m crossing my fingers for a Wii release but a dead raccoon plastered on the the road has more chance of rising from the dead than this game jumping platforms.

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It’s scary (in a good way) that videogames are becoming more and more interactive and that a whole new social dimension is taken into consideration if a developer wants to make a truly groin-grabbingly wanktastical game. If I want this game, I’ll need to shell out around 150$ dollars not to mention that I’ll be needing a PS3 which I don’t have.

Technology is getting more and more expensive. I miss my famicom.

Life would be so much easier if women were direct about what they want…

=/

It’s universal knowledge that Mondays totally blow. It’s signifies the start of a new week and thus tells you that “Hey wake up! Your weekend is over and you have to drag your feet to work!” Mondays can easily be represented by a whip-cracking, leather mask-wearing, muscle-bound overlord having his way with you. Well anyway… imagine: You’re already feeling like dirt just because it’s Monday. To add insult to injury, if any of these things listed below happen to you on a Monday, your day is going to get a lot more… interesting.

10. Stepping on dog poop when leaving the house as you’re heading for work/school.

- Well, at least this gives you a reason to scream at your dog and make him the object of your vented rage. You’re already late for work and now have to find a sidewalk to scrape the poop off.

9. Running out of coffee.

- You lack sleep and now you don’t have anything to keep you up. Ouch.

8. Forgetting to wear socks/underwear.

- Nothing like starting the day lacking a piece of clothing. Less is more… more STRESS, that is.

7. Knowing that you can’t do anything to evade the Monday traffic.

- The only way to beat traffic is to leave early. You, being the lazy bum that you are, don’t want to leave your bed early because sleeping is good. Enduring traffic is your punishment for being too lazy.

6. Running out of deodarant.

- Good luck smelling like fried onions for the day.

5. Forgetting to charge your cellphone.

- It’s like having your arm cut off for one whole day.

4. Losing/Forgetting your wallet.

- Here’s to hoping you run into a prince who looks like you who is willing to trade places with a pauper (a.k.a. you).

3. Bodying up to a person with B.O. in the train.

- Did you bring your gas mask? All the canisters of Glade in the world cannot kill that epicly awful scent.

2. LBM attack.

- “Blurp” goes your tummy.

1. Waking up on a Monday.

- Speaks for itself.

One of the many things I enjoyed about Seinfeld were the monologues that popped up every now and again. Not the ones Jerry opened the show with, but the ones within a show. Nobody held forth in comic fashion for extended periods on sitcoms, unless it was a Very Special Episode or something. So the speeches were a treat; the fact that they were a riot was the icing on the cake.
The following are my five favorite monologues on the show; one for each of the four leads, and one for a guest. It wasn’t planned that way; I just happened to like all these best, and in this order.

For number 5, we have Elaine trapped in the subway. The swears she absolutely cuts loose with were such a surprise the first time I saw this, and ensured that this belongs in the top five.

Number 4; Jerry’s JFK-inspired deconstruction of the day when Kramer & Newman were spat upon. Incidentally, this was the very first “Hello, Newman.” running gag.

Number 3; Kramer tells about his rescue of a severed toe. I <3 his little hip-sway as he says, “Now I’m drivin’ the bus!”

Number 2; George’s immortal description of his treatment of a beached whale. The one lady’s whoop at the reveal is a great moment in studio audience history. (note: I couldn’t find the original clip, but the Seinimation will be more than enough)

You’re most probably peeing your pants with laughter right now, but the list isn’t done. What could possibly top that whale episode you ask? Only Philip Baker Hall’s guest turn as Bookman, library cop. Jerry can’t keep a straight face; I can only imagine how many takes the whole thing took before he could get this much under control.

Ah.. the nineties…

My birthday is coming up around the corner and obviously, I HAVE TO THROW A PARTY. I can always choose NOT to throw a party because it’s MY only day of the year and I can do whatever the heck I want. Well, I want to throw a part because I have the need to always one-up the previous year’s party… and belive me, I throw FANTASTIC parties. Great music, great people and booze. That’s a killer combination.

HOWEVER.

The whole concept of treating people on YOUR birthday is a littly iffy. It’s your birthday, it’s your special day how come you’re spending!? They should be the one pampering, and lavishing you with wanktastical gifts. Why do you have to be hassled by friends? Why should they pester you with questions of when you’re gonna treat them out? What the hell man.

This time, it’s gonna be a round table with bro’s and stories and as always, booze and music.

Happy Birthday.

I love listening to motivational speakers because it’s not that hard to imagine how much hoohah they’re trying to feed into their audience. Amazing how some speakers don’t even believe what they’re telling people. They’re doing it just for the heck of it (OR they could be doing it for a big wad of cash). I ran into theburningbiscuit and found this groin-grabbingly fantastic DEmotivational messages.

God there are so many pictures there and I can’t put them alllllllllllllll. I’ll post some again after a few days to keep you demotivated.

With the GXCon over and done with, I’m still reeling from the fallout of that surreal, but nice, experience. The GXCon was supposed to be a console gaming convention but then it transformed into an ugly, humid cosplay event. I have nothing against cosplayers but boy, do they know how to crash a party! So instead of FULLY covering a VIDEO GAME CONVENTION, I was FORCED to look at some cosplayers. Sure, there were good ones but where’s the fun in that? I’d rather bash the crapolas instead. Oh and by the way, I could care less about anime so looking at these people was…. rather interesting.

To fully, immerse yourself in the cosplay event, you must, MUST make sure that what you’re wearing is in tip-top shape. Check this out.

I think this guy/girl is cosplaying Leo from the upcoming Tekken 6. Look at the form. Nice pose, right?

Well not until you do a botched round-house kick that send your shoe flying. Good thing that guy/girl wore the good pair of socks that he/she had. Moving on…

I don’t know what the hell this guy is smoking. I don’t even know if he’s facing front or back. No one knows. Walt Disney would be proud.

These next two pictures are worth mentioning because they have perfect the use of refractors to highlight their costume.

They might not be the prettiest of the bunch but their costumes are neat-o.

Now, this is a respectable Arthas costume. I loved how the runes on Frostmourne glow in the picture. Oh and by the way, he wone the contest.

                             NO…                                          NO…                                   MAYBE…

The good:

This guy needs a prize… or a good bullet in the head.

Not bad. In fact, great ingenuity.

Tony the Tiger and Chuck Lidell

But… we have a winner. The best cosplayer of all time.

Some guy cosplaying a security guard. GG. 

I present to you now… the YUMMIES:

MMMhmmmmmm she is cute. Although I don’t know where she’s from.

Tifa Effing Lockheart. ’nuff said. I can’t stop looking at it.

Mother of God… They can tag team me anytime.

Ok… even if the convention was a total sham… my imagination was doing backflips because of these two. MMMMMhmmmmmm.

Manila is a fantastic city for it has sights and wonders and weird stuff that will make even the most interesting city in the world blush and hide. Of course, when I say “fantastic”, it covers both ends of the spectrum: from the incredible and commendable to the abhoring and nasty. Let’s get on with it, shall we?

1. A passenger bus can hold up to 3 times its capacity

2. People believe if there’s even a shred of space, they can fit in it.

3. If they don’t understand it, people laugh at it. (be it a concept, a spectacle, a person etc. you get the point)

4. America is the greatest country in the world.

5. People try their best to make guests feel at home AT  ANY COST.

6. the food is TOP NOTCH

7. stuff that SHOULD be expensive is dirt cheap while necessities are almost a luxury.

8. Going inside the train/bus is the ONLY priority, leaving is another story.

9. The law is… wait… what law?

10. if you’re an actor, you’re set for life since actor=singer=producer=celebrated entreprenur=POLITICIAN

11. The Congress and Senate are places to get money. In short, ATM machine.

12. Unseating presidents is our “in” thing.

13. Progress, common sense and innovation is alien to the government.

14. Experiencing traffic here is a spiritual journey.

15. The film industry is non-existent.

16. In soap operas, if the leading lady is pregnant, you have to actually pass 9 months for her to give birth. No pacing.

17. 10% of our population is from Korea.

18. “Made in the Philippines” is the last thing you don’t want to see on your stuff.

19. The cellphone to person ratio is 3:1.

20. You can find ANYTHING in Recto.

21. Cops don’t strike fear into the hearts of men.

22. The security guards here are like nothing anywhere. “Inspection” means poking your bag once or twice or they just take a peek at it and they’re absolutely, positively, groin-grabbingly SURE that THERE.IS.NO.BOMB.

23. The president is really a bunch of ducks in a human outfit.

24. The Filipino is a paradox: they are the dumbest but at the same time, the smartest people in world. No joke.

FLAME ON.

I’d like to take a break from the comic book hero/video game hero melee to share some thoughts on the Filipino driver. Take a look at this piece of machinery:    

These bad boys are nothing to sneeze at. Mastering these behemoths takes a lot of skill. Sure, you may scoff at my bold statement but take time to consider this:

1. The Jeepney driver is inredibly skilled because first of all, the driver does a lot of OTHER things while he drives. He takes the fare passengers give him. Then he has to calculate how much the fare is and return appropriate change. He has to attune his hearing so that he will easily pick out when a passengers yells out “para!” so he will stop the jeep so that the passenger may get off.

2. Next, jeepney drivers don’t have the luxury of rear view mirrors. Everything is pure estimation and calculation.

3. Gauges? What gauges? All the gauges on the jeep’s almost non-existent dashboard are purely for display. Once again, estimation and calculation.

4. Lastly, and probably the most uncomfortable fact is the jeepney driver’s position as he drives: conventional driving lets you sit DIRECTLY in front of your steering wheel, on the other hand, jeepney drivers sit slightly to the left of the steering wheel because if he sits directly in front of the wheel, he won’t have enough room to maneuver his arms. So in short, tabingi. 

The same thing goes when driving a bus (ONLY IN THE PHILIPPINES)

So, if you can drive in Manila, YOU CAN DRIVE ANYWHERE.