Awesome 

A fish out of water is fish nonetheless — although dying.

- Some guy

When you take fish out of water and place them in your cupped palms, slowly drying up, they will jolt and quiver their bodies to get out. They will jump out of your hands and willingly let themselves fall into whatever waits for them down below. They’re absolutely uncertain of what they will fall on or into when they leap off: it could be cold marble flooring; dry, painful sand; or perhaps water, the same water that they were taken from.

Fish are admirable. They know they will die when they’re taken out of their nature, and though their lives are at even more risk when they jump off the hands that caught them, they still take that big leap — most of them die quicker and more painfully, but others find themselves back in the water that nourishes them.

Risks are a funny thing: you’ll never know the outcome unless you try it and yet, at the back of your mind, you know that there is a high chance of crashing and burning and yet the one image of you gloriously standing tall, arms raised in victory spurs you on. You’ll give everything for that one goal. You’ll gnaw and fight and claw and scrape your way to achieving that one thing that will make you eternally happy. Who knows what the future holds? All one can do is pray and wish and sacrifice and love and sacrifice some more and hope that it doesn’t go unnoticed.

I’m not saying that you have to put up an act. No no. Instead you choose to sacrifice and fight because you know it your heart that it IS the right thing to do and that you do it not for recognition and fame but for the fact that it is real and true.

“Give me cushion just enough to break my fall.”

- Claudio Sanchez

They got all the awesome guitars for the taking. All you need is a little fingerwork, imagination and a whole lotta guts to air rock-out in front of throngs of people.

I’ve a friend named Tyrone

a tumbleweed well known

on and on he tumbles

through empty city streets

and ‘cross ill-timed punchlines

So special Tyrone is

he is adored verily

by lil’ five year old girls

Alas, mis’ry trails Tyrone

on and on he goes

ne’er ending, unfleeting

He’ll never, ever rest

Forever tumbling

Forever wandering

Ampanget.

Alam na.

I wannnnnntttt!!!

It looks cool and all but it it also looks cumbersome with the dragon head looming over your shoulder and all that.  

However.

Imagine walking down the street with a black, leather dragon on your back. No one’s gonna mess with you.

RAWR!

The Apeer is probably most OVERused hand gesture (yep, it’s OVER and it’s MOST so you can feel the intensity of its usage) in all the world and, it is the most “flexible” of gestures too (more on that later).

The Apeer is a celebratory gesture made by two people, each raising one hand to slap the raised hand of the other — usually meant to communicate mutual satisfaction to spectators or to extend congratulations from one person to another. The arms are usually extended into the air to form the “up” part, and the five fingers of each hand meet, making the “here”. Therefore - Apeer.

Several variations on the standard apeer exist in order to add uniqueness to the experience and to maximize satisfaction. One such variation is the “flipside”, also called the “windmill”; this method begins like a regular high five, however upon meeting up top, both high-fivers continue to swing their arms downwards until they meet again in a “low five”. This method is depicted in the feature film Top Gun repeatedly. Names are occasionally given to high fives in order to add uniqueness. Examples of fictional characters who do this are the character of “The Todd” from the series Scrubs, and Barney Stinson from the series How I Met Your Mother.

Barney Stinson, Apeer Patron.

If one initiates an apeer by raising a hand into the air and no one consummates the celebration by slapping the raised hand, the initiator is said to be “left hanging.” This is considered to be a somewhat embarrassing faux pas.

An apeer can be suited for the following occassions/situations:

birthdays

funerals (the slow apeer is most suited to convey sympathy)

apologies (o bati na tayo ha? apeer.)

after making the winning shot (preferably in a basketball game)

to shut someone up or..

if you’re shut up and don’t have a good comeback

a display of love and you’re too chicken to do something else

in the process of teaching a kid about rocking out

a job well done

after eating the perfect beef stroganoff (which is then followed with a slap on the table)

Lots lots lots more.

Now, I’m proposing a “Happy Apeer Day” as a holiday for the greatest of all cities, Quezon City. The date is still undetermined but for sure, it IS going to be a non-working holiday so that regular, hard-working joes like me can get a respite from all the hard work that gets done every single day.

The activities will be swimming and basketball and the citizens of Quezon City are all welcome to do these activites wherever they seem fit. So if you have a swimming pool at the back of your house and a basketball court just nearby, you can invite some of your friends and family and celebrate Quezon City Happy Apeer Day.

Of course…

don’t forget to apeer!

Apeer.

HOW DOES HE DO IT??!!
First HEATHER LOCKLEAR and now…

Jenna Fischer!!!
…wowza.

funny guys = win

Don’t you hate it when people butcher and maim another person’s (especially YOURS) name? Be it spelling or even worse, pronounciation, the only thing that can be butcherd is MEAT. Let’s see:

John = Jan

Jeffrey = Jepri

Melvin = Melbin

Steve = Stib

Kev = Keb

Fruit = Frewt

Mufasa = Mupasa

Ernest = Ehrnest

Walter = Waltehrrrr

Or sometimes, parents just combine two names to form one ridiculously deformed name…

Willy + Jonavin (a combo in itself) = Wilvin

Jhoanna + Evelyn (a tita perhaps?) = Jhoannavelyn

Josephine + Eric = Joerhic

Jessa + Edmund = Jesmund

Larry + Susan = Larrisan

Jessie + Fely = Jesfel

But nothing can beat…

*drumroll*

The most butchered of all names…

Murphy = Merpy

It’s perfect!

“San kayo galing?”

“Kina Merpy”

What’s worse is if they shorten it.

Merpy = Merp

GG.

I was listening to 102.7 on the way to work (Note: I never listen to the radio. I was just… skimming) and they had this segment called Stardinas. I think that’s the part of the show where they prank-call people. So in this particular episode, they call up the wife of one of the workers there and boy did they pull the rug from under her.

“Ah goodmorning po, pwede po kay Christine blah blah? Ako po si  blahblah from blahblah hotel.”

“Ako ‘to. Tungkol saan ba ito?”

“Kaano-ano nyo po si Marvin blahblah?”

“Asawa ko.”

“Ah. Kasi po, nung December 29, nagcheck in po siya sa hotel na ito. Umalis lang po siya sandali at may kasama po siyang babae. Umabot po yung bill niya ng 7,000 pesos. Nag-iwan po siya ng promisary note pero hanggang ngayon di pa rin siya nagbabayad. Kailangan po nya i-settle ang bill ngayong araw bago mag alas diyes.”

(it was around 8.30 in morning then)

At this point, the woman is SILENT. I thought she fainted or was just so full of rage. Unbeknownst to her, this is all a gag.

A very SICK gag.

I didn’t know what the outcome of the story was because I was near the office already. I was yelling at the radio “Tanga, bawiin mo na yung joke mo! Di na nakatutuwa yan!”

Anyone else caught that this morning?

Tell me what happened!

I really feel as human beings, we need more training in our basic social skills.

Conversational Distance.

Don’t you hate these people that talk to you that talk into your mouth like you’re a clown at a drive-through?

Hand shakes are the worst: there’s absolutely no guidelines for hand shakes… you know these people? It’s either too long, too weak, sometimes they give you the three-quarter handshake just the fingers, early release, late release, sometimes people will dispute your release, you let go and they’re hangin’ on.

I have actually said to people “Hey the handshake is over!”

Too many pumps

Coming in too high

Too sweaty

Coming from too far away

Sometimes a guy will give you a strong grip, late release, and pull you in for the too close conversation. To him I say “That’s three strikes you’re out.”