One of the many things I enjoyed about Seinfeld were the monologues that popped up every now and again. Not the ones Jerry opened the show with, but the ones within a show. Nobody held forth in comic fashion for extended periods on sitcoms, unless it was a Very Special Episode or something. So the speeches were a treat; the fact that they were a riot was the icing on the cake.
The following are my five favorite monologues on the show; one for each of the four leads, and one for a guest. It wasn’t planned that way; I just happened to like all these best, and in this order.

For number 5, we have Elaine trapped in the subway. The swears she absolutely cuts loose with were such a surprise the first time I saw this, and ensured that this belongs in the top five.

Number 4; Jerry’s JFK-inspired deconstruction of the day when Kramer & Newman were spat upon. Incidentally, this was the very first “Hello, Newman.” running gag.

Number 3; Kramer tells about his rescue of a severed toe. I <3 his little hip-sway as he says, “Now I’m drivin’ the bus!”

Number 2; George’s immortal description of his treatment of a beached whale. The one lady’s whoop at the reveal is a great moment in studio audience history. (note: I couldn’t find the original clip, but the Seinimation will be more than enough)

You’re most probably peeing your pants with laughter right now, but the list isn’t done. What could possibly top that whale episode you ask? Only Philip Baker Hall’s guest turn as Bookman, library cop. Jerry can’t keep a straight face; I can only imagine how many takes the whole thing took before he could get this much under control.

Ah.. the nineties…

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