Remember my earlier post about the top 5 Seinfeld moments? Well, if it wasn’t for officer Bookman and the whale, Kramer’s immortal re-telling of the pinky toe would’ve been number 1. Nothing cracks me up more than hearing:

“You’re Batman!”

“Yeah I AM Batman!”

Anyway, if you ever bought a Seinfeld DVD collection, you would be also a proud owner of the Sein-imation DVD. What are they? Well, they’re animated versions of popular scenes such as George and the Whale and The Big Race.

Since Kramer’s story is TOO vivid and chocful of details, an animated version would just be DIVINE.

Here is an animation of The Big Race

HAHAHHAHAHAHA!!! I love it when Jerry says “A myth grew about my speed”

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH!!! 

I love playing MMOs. Well not all MMOs actually… just the top two: World of Warcraft and Guild Wars since they provide the best of both worlds, which is PVE and PVP (respectively). Anyway, the whole reason why MMOs are so popular right now is that they’re, for lack of a better term, EPIC - Tons of players inhabit vast gaming landscapes, alliances are formed, items are collected and video game addiction begins (LOVE IT).

With the influx of MMOs right now, the tried and true formula of swords and sorcery is getting old and many games have tried another route but failed miserably *sneeze*Matrix Online*sneeze*

Check out this list. Maybe I might be on to something here

1. Pirates of the Caribbean Online

No this won’t be like an extension of the franchise. Instead, the game will be focused on the world created by the movie. Personally, I really think that as far as rich settings and lore go, PotC is at the top of the list. Of course, this is not based on real life (duh!). Imagine, playable races would be fish people (the guys that run with Davey Jones), the undead (care of Barbossa), and of course, the humans.

As for classes, you could be a Royal Guard (limited to humans) and a sort of “exclusive” race, a Pirate (REALLY?!) which is probably a cross between a fighter and a thief which specializes in hand to hand combat and ummm twirling and tumbling, a witch/shaman (like Tiadalma/Calypso) that can call upon the power of the sea and storms,  and a Gunner which shoots… ummm… guns.

The Royal Guard is an exlcusive race/class because obviously, Royal Guards can’t be Pirates. Instead, they have their own sub-class: Rifleman, Soldier, Medic

You could visit locales such as Singapore, the swamps, heck, you can even visit World’s End with all those rock crabs. To be set in a “Pirates” setting, it is IMPERATIVE to have a ship and crew. People of the same race can band together to form a crew and one gets to be captain (yay!). With a crew formed, you have to pool your resources together to buy a ship and you can challenge other crews and the winner gets the loser’s ship. As your crew gains more ships, your fleet grows (as does your crew). Get the picture?

And lastly, crews of the same race can put aside their differences and band together to duke it out against other races for control over certain territory. Fish people (I shoudl really stop calling them Fish people) vs the Undead, vs the Pirates vs the Royal Guard. Yum.

Heck maybe you can butt heads with the ever scary Kraken so you can tame it and use it for your own nefarious plans. Mwahahhahaha.

 2. Mechwarrior Online

Ah the long lost Mechwarrior series… I miss it so much. The glory of Mechwarrior 2: Mercenaries will forever be emblazoned on my mind. The way I see it, if they ever made an MMO, think Guild Wars with big robots. Well, I really don’t see anything that fits between grinding and hulking robots so it’d be more appropriate if you start off with a crappy mech (a Raven or something like that) and then work your way up by salvaging mechs (you still remember how to salvage, right? aim for the legs!). The whole “story” of this MMO would be protrayed ala Mercenaries where you are presented with various “jobs” (quests) that you can take and of course, you get paid for every successful job. Jobs can be done with other players or henchmen. Most of your moolah would come from completed jobs but also you can do “resource runs” where you raid mining facilities or weapon bays that are controlled by NPCs. You, as a pilot, will learn new skills and techniques as you level up and you can also buy new weapons, parts, mods for your mech. You can also form clans and fight it out with other clans for glory and cash.

With a massive  game like this, the PVP will be MASSIVE (or just really, really, really huge). 10 vs 10 matches on a battlefield with sizzling lasers, screaming rockets and mechanized footsteps is nothing short of glorious.

3. Starcraft Online

My childhood would never have been the same without Starcraft. For me, it’s the first RTS that introduced (and subsequently pulled off) a three-race game which at first seems unbalanced but after playing and understanding the game, you’ll notice that they’re in perfect harmony.

Now, take the highly perfected (sans massive grinding) formula for World of Warcraft and graft it on to Starcraft (with a little tweaking) and you got yourself a hit. Once again, you can play as either the innumerable Zerg, the benevolent Protoss or the scrappy Terrans. Thing is, I can’t really picture what kinds of character classes that are playable? I mean for the Terrans, the only choosable classes are Marine, Reaper, Ghost, and Medic. If you’re playing Terrans, then you’ll have a whole plethora of toys to play with. Feel like piloting a Banshee? A Siege Tank? A Viking? Do you have enough balls to man a Thor? It’s all up to you.

If you’re leaning towards the Protoss, you could play a Zealot, Immortal, Dark Templar, High Templar. Hehe I guess it’d be weird if you and another High/Dark Templar decide to fuse to form an Archon (or its Dark/Twilight cousin). I guess you also get to pilot a Carrier, or Warp Ray or even control a Reaver (if they still have it in StarCraft 2).

The Zerg… well… I don’t really know how to play as the Zerg. Are you stuck as a Zergling forever? That’d be lame. However, if I was a Marine facing down 50,000 Zergling PCs, RUN.

There are a WHOLE LOT of other possibilities out there. This is just my wishlist. What’s yours?

I’m a firm believer that an acoustic set is the perfect gauge of a band’s greatness. If they can’t perform unplugged they aren’t worth ANYONE’S time. Yep, I’m that hardcore. If their genre or sound doesn’t even deem an acoustic session possible, I’d settle for a live performance. If they dont’ make my eyes water, my forearm hair tingle or my knees buckle, I’m not buying into it. Heh, and some people wonder why I’m the most biased person when it comes to music. Well listen up people, I know what I like and that is Gospel truth!

Coheed & Cambria - The Running Free

AFI - Endlessly, She Said

I’ll post some more great acoustic sets tomorrow. This is enough to quench your thirst for wanktastical music…. for now.

The government makes me want to effing puke. They take TOO MUCH from working joes like me while they do NOTHING to give back to the people. Mother of effing hell!! I just got my payslip today. Imagine my rage when I saw that I lost more than 1.5k from taxes and all that.

abn alagkl;jyuaghaweg aSgqWE”:Gh sHGHWOPsG hqQWEG

What the hell!?!?!!? I could’ve done a lot of things with that lost cash. I could’ve used that money to buy more booze for my party tomorrow. That lost cash could’ve translated to new chucks or a new pair of pants! or I could’ve just saved it so I can buy a christmas gift for my mom! 

zsd bgszs has ghaSgfaf h;sh;ghasfl; sh;ejze”:Jh’hjip56 a34y76

 GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! With taxes like these, the streets should be paved with gold! Gold I tell ya!

I’m gonna sit here and stew.

Ever noticed the medlies they play on thos crappy radio stations? The song starts with a typical beat and metrononome and then an old song like… let’s say Yellow Submarine plays over it. You can’t explain it but somehow the lyrics fit well into the beat. And then, after the chorus, a new song slithers in, maybe You Give Love a Bad Name, but then the beat and metronome doesnt change. Obviously, the lyric patterns of the Bon Jovi song and the Beatles song are distinctly different from each other but by some freak of nature (could be divine intervention) it FITS. IT REALLY FITS. I don’t get it.

I remember when I was riding the RoRo to Iloilo, I endured a whole Beatles discography medley. One beat all the way. It defies the immutable laws of music.

Only in the Philippines.

Anyone here play or used to play Magic the Gathering cards? I used to play and man was I good. I, among with a couple of fellow dorks, were supposed to represent the Philippines for the Japan Prix but no one wanted to sponsor us…ARGH. Well, what’s passed has passed. I ran into this video and I love it. Check it out.

Oh man, this game is going to be delicious. All those times I’ve imagined Magic creatures duking it out amongst each other can now be viewed in glorious and vivid detail! Too bad this is just a PS3 exclusive. I’m crossing my fingers for a Wii release but a dead raccoon plastered on the the road has more chance of rising from the dead than this game jumping platforms.

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It’s scary (in a good way) that videogames are becoming more and more interactive and that a whole new social dimension is taken into consideration if a developer wants to make a truly groin-grabbingly wanktastical game. If I want this game, I’ll need to shell out around 150$ dollars not to mention that I’ll be needing a PS3 which I don’t have.

Technology is getting more and more expensive. I miss my famicom.

Life would be so much easier if women were direct about what they want…

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Why do they call it “fingers”? I’ve never seen them fing…

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It’s universal knowledge that Mondays totally blow. It’s signifies the start of a new week and thus tells you that “Hey wake up! Your weekend is over and you have to drag your feet to work!” Mondays can easily be represented by a whip-cracking, leather mask-wearing, muscle-bound overlord having his way with you. Well anyway… imagine: You’re already feeling like dirt just because it’s Monday. To add insult to injury, if any of these things listed below happen to you on a Monday, your day is going to get a lot more… interesting.

10. Stepping on dog poop when leaving the house as you’re heading for work/school.

- Well, at least this gives you a reason to scream at your dog and make him the object of your vented rage. You’re already late for work and now have to find a sidewalk to scrape the poop off.

9. Running out of coffee.

- You lack sleep and now you don’t have anything to keep you up. Ouch.

8. Forgetting to wear socks/underwear.

- Nothing like starting the day lacking a piece of clothing. Less is more… more STRESS, that is.

7. Knowing that you can’t do anything to evade the Monday traffic.

- The only way to beat traffic is to leave early. You, being the lazy bum that you are, don’t want to leave your bed early because sleeping is good. Enduring traffic is your punishment for being too lazy.

6. Running out of deodarant.

- Good luck smelling like fried onions for the day.

5. Forgetting to charge your cellphone.

- It’s like having your arm cut off for one whole day.

4. Losing/Forgetting your wallet.

- Here’s to hoping you run into a prince who looks like you who is willing to trade places with a pauper (a.k.a. you).

3. Bodying up to a person with B.O. in the train.

- Did you bring your gas mask? All the canisters of Glade in the world cannot kill that epicly awful scent.

2. LBM attack.

- “Blurp” goes your tummy.

1. Waking up on a Monday.

- Speaks for itself.

One of the many things I enjoyed about Seinfeld were the monologues that popped up every now and again. Not the ones Jerry opened the show with, but the ones within a show. Nobody held forth in comic fashion for extended periods on sitcoms, unless it was a Very Special Episode or something. So the speeches were a treat; the fact that they were a riot was the icing on the cake.
The following are my five favorite monologues on the show; one for each of the four leads, and one for a guest. It wasn’t planned that way; I just happened to like all these best, and in this order.

For number 5, we have Elaine trapped in the subway. The swears she absolutely cuts loose with were such a surprise the first time I saw this, and ensured that this belongs in the top five.

Number 4; Jerry’s JFK-inspired deconstruction of the day when Kramer & Newman were spat upon. Incidentally, this was the very first “Hello, Newman.” running gag.

Number 3; Kramer tells about his rescue of a severed toe. I <3 his little hip-sway as he says, “Now I’m drivin’ the bus!”

Number 2; George’s immortal description of his treatment of a beached whale. The one lady’s whoop at the reveal is a great moment in studio audience history. (note: I couldn’t find the original clip, but the Seinimation will be more than enough)

You’re most probably peeing your pants with laughter right now, but the list isn’t done. What could possibly top that whale episode you ask? Only Philip Baker Hall’s guest turn as Bookman, library cop. Jerry can’t keep a straight face; I can only imagine how many takes the whole thing took before he could get this much under control.

Ah.. the nineties…