I’m an incredibly huge Simpsons fan. They’ve been part of my childhood for as long as I can remember and they are one of the biggest influences on the formation of my sense of humor. What’s amazing is that they’ve been on air for almost 20 years now and they don’t show any signs of slowing down. As an homage, I would like to post my TOP TEN Springfielder here.

10. Mayor “Diamond” Joe Quimby

The monogamous, corrupt and surprisingly funny Mayor of Springfield is at number 10. He’s in this list because he epitomizes what’s wrong with Springfield city. All he cares about is himself and getting more women. Which is funny.“Okay, today we will discuss what we will do with the ummm ahhh 2 million dollars”

“Don’t you mean 3 million dollars?”

“Of course….. how silly of me”
9.Waylon Smithers

The executive assistant and right hand man of Mr Burns, Smithers is like the textbook definition of the loyal follower. He does everything for Burns: cleans, cooks, shops, bathes… he even removes the skin of a spanish peanut for Mr. Burns. He’s in this list because his undying love for Mr. Burns is funny in its own way.

“But sir, you can’t block out the sun! Owls will deafen us with incessant hooting!”

8. Dr. Julius Hibbert

Julius Hibbert is the kind-hearted, genius doctor of Springfield. Hibbert is noticeably less dysfunctional than just about everyone else on the show, though he does have a bizarre tendency to chuckle at inappropriate moments. He also gives questionable solutions to certain medical problems. How can you not like that?!

“How can a baby save the life of a full-grown man?”

“It’s very simple. When an adult’s life is in danger, a child can summon superhuman strength!”

7. Police Chief Clancy Wiggum

He is an extreme stereotype: morbidly obese, dim witted, ignorant, grossly incompetent, and lazy, with a fondness for doughnuts and “Chintzy Pop”. He does have redeeming qualities though: he loves his family very much and shows great patience for his son, Ralph. His kind-heartedness and ignorance nets him a spot in this list.

“Can’t you people solve these problems yourselves? I mean we can’t be ‘policing’ the whole city. Geez, why don’t you just take the law into your hands?”

6. Carl Carlson & Lenny Leonard

Two of Homer’s best pals, Lenny and Carl are often portrayed being more than just friends… if you know what I mean but it’s more like Lenny just looks at Carl like this big hero because Carl is often referred to as one of the most goodlooking guys in springfield. These two are faithful buddhists and are rarely seen apart. In one episode, Lenny saw a version of his own heaven where all the angels were Carl.

5. Grampa Simpson

The senile, often inaccurate father of Homer lands at number 5. This guy is so funny because his stories are incoherent and don’t make sense. He finds himself in situation that he doesn’t know how he got there in the first place, not to mention the time when a turtle stole his fake teeth and he had to chase the turtle. Yay.

“We can’t bust heads like we used to, but we have our ways. One trick is to tell ‘em stories that don’t go anywhere—like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on ‘em. ‘Give me five bees for a quarter,’ you’d say.

“Now where were we? Oh yeah—the important thing was that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn’t have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones…”

4. Barney Gumble

Homer’s best friend and the town drunk. He was Harvard-bound until Homer introduced him to beer, sadly the night before the SAT. He has a broken voice and a very distinct belch but he possesses a fantastic Irish singing voice when he replaced Wiggum in the barbershop quartet called “The Be Sharps”. His addiction to alcohol and lame-brain schemes land him at number 4.

Moe: “You’ll be back! and so will you, and you and you” *points at Barney*

Barney: “Of course I’ll be back, if you never closed, I’d never leave!”

3. Moe Szyslack

“Kid Gorgeous”, “Kid Presentable”, “Kid Gruesome”, and “Kid Moe.” were the names Moe used during his stint as a professional boxer, but now, he’s just the only employee and proprietor of Moe’s Tavern. I love him because he’s constantly trying to steal Marge (whom he always refers to as Midge) from Homer. He is also Bart’s number one target for prank calls. Moe lands at number 3 because his in-your-face attitude and disregard for his patrons’ health makes people laugh all over the world.

“If I ever catch you I’m gonna pull your eyes out and shove ‘em down your pants, so you can watch me kick the crap out of you, then I’m gonna use your tongue to paint my boat”

2. Homer Jay SImpson

Ah, the big man himself. What would a Simpsons Top Ten be without Homer Jay Simpson? Well, this is pretty self-explanatory: this guy IS funny. Everything he does is a comic act. His idiotic comments and retarded actions and his surprisingly deep love for his family have found a place in each fan’s heart. Homer is here to stay.

“Look Dad, this dog can do everything: he can do backflips, save people from fire, use the toilet AND answer the phone!”

“Awww this dog has had more education than I did!”

1. Charles Montgomery Burns

He was originally slated to be a recurring villain, dropping by from time to time to hassle the Simpson family but fans liked him so much that he became a permanent part of the cast. The oldest man in Springfield (who has a social security number of 000-000-002) is also the richest. He is evil, cruel and loves to torment people. He has many traps in his office. The most wicked one would be a tube sucking people out of his room and brings them to a palace in Morocco where his victims are forced to dance. This man trumps Homer because he uses a more subtle form of physical comedy and his weakness is often displayed. One time, he drowned in his tub because Smithers accidentally left a sponge on top of his head.

“Look at all the wonderful things you have Mr. Burns: King Arthur’s Excalibur, the only painting of Mark Twain not wearing clothes and the first draft of the constitution with the word ’suckers’ in it.”

“Bah! Trash… I want my teddy!”

Whew, that was long. There you have it, folks: my top ten simpsons list. Who are your favorite characters? tell me!

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