Hello Kitty Paradise

Dying to be well

It has been such a long time since I last posted something on my blog. I have been lazy and taking all my free time for granted. Not that I would have known how to make better use of it anyway except wasting it away every evening on facebook posts and games, and sometimes on office work when I feel like it.

On Tuesday evening, I had a very bad case of food poisoning. I believe it was caused by either a combination of drinking old milk tea and eating raw fish, or one of these. Anyway, I was feeling very uncomfortable in the stomach and very nauseous throughout Tuesday night. I vomitted once and another time on Wednesday morning, followed by a bad case of diarrhea. At 10am, I went to see a doctor, got some medicine and assumed it was all going to be fine within the same day. Sadly, it was not meant to be. My diarrhea continued and even worsened, and I vomitted a few more times even though there didnt seem to be anything left in my stomach for that disgusting act. I felt so sick and was running to the washroom every 10 mins. I was so tired of having partial shower after each diarrhea but I had to do it because I felt so freaking cursed and dirty. On top of that, I was either running a fever or just suffering from yet another symptom of food poisoning. I was sweating so badly and my head and my hair were so wet from sweat. I could only lie in bed in pain and sweat, and only getting up to go to the washroom. At 3pm, I knew something was not right because the medicine, though was helping slightly in the nausea part, was definitely not helping in the diarrhea part. I rang up the clinic and checked with them and as much as I had expected, I was not given the medicine to stop diarrhea, only the medicine to stop vomitting. Shxx you, doc. You wasted my first trip. The clinic assistant didnt seem too cool about it when I told her my situation. She urged me to go to the clinic as soon as possible to get the medicine to stop diarrhea and told me that I had to be there not later than an hour’s time because the clinic would be closing for the afternoon break at 4pm. After she hang up, I was really lost. Here I was so freaking dependent on the washroom, and now I had to walk to the clinic which is easily 20 mins away by quick stroll. I hate my life. I hate it that I could not just ring up someone to help me get it. I really hate it that I was all by myself. After 30 mins, I decided to give it a… run? It was not as if my situation got better and I could go out for a lala time. I know their break time is from 4pm - 7pm so if they had closed on me before I got my medicine, I would have to wait until 7pm for them to open again. So I left my place wearing a pad and started walking hastily to the clinic. It was such a torture and as I was walking there, I was trying to control my bowels and my tears. It was such a painful experience and I wish I never had to go through it again.

Of course the diarrhea medicine didnt help too much. In fact, I wasnt sure what caused my next wave of pain. From 5pm of Wednesday to the next morning, I was drifting between my bed and the washroom, with constant but milder cases of diarrhea and vomitting at least once every hour. I tried to reply to some sms on my mobile phone but it was just so hard to focus and to hold a phone. My back or whatever was behind and inside me was hurting so badly that every angle I tried to sleep in gave me tremendous pain. I moaned to relieve some pain. If the last moments of most dying people are worse than this, I hope I die quickly. All that went through my head were the happier moments I spent with people who are important to me. I wish I had another chance to be with them again. I wish I could watch another football match with my fries. I wish I could drive around happily in my car. After a while, the pain got so dreadful that I even considered people or situations I didnt like. I was thinking, actually they arent so bad. Like getting stuck in a major traffic jam for 2 hours is still 100 times better than lying in bed writhing in severe pain. That moment, I missed crawling in a traffic jam. I was really at the verge of asking someone to send me to the hospital. I thought my kidneys were going to explode. Whatever it was, it was really painful! On top of that, I was also very stressed by the fact that I had some materials to upload to my school site which had to be done by Thursday morning. I tried to sit at my laptop and managed to do some of the uploading but when I reached the last part, I really felt like I could do with a collapse. I struggled to my bed to lie down and managed to send a sms to a colleague to help me do it. He gladly agreed. I was so thankful.

I was feeling slightly better on Thursday although the diarrhea continued disgustingly. I am really tired of it. I wish the virus in me would spare me and leave me alone.

Throughout the times I was sick, I received many concern messages and I am thankful to all those who asked. Special thanks to my fries for constantly sending me messages and calling me to talk to me.

Special poem to my bird:
You were so near
That I saw you the moment I opened my eyes
Yet so far
That I could not touch you


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