She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.

On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.

On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight,

put on some soft background music and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar and a bottle of Chardonnay.

When she had finished, she went into each and every room

and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods.

She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days.

Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning, mopping and airing the place out.

Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steamed.

Air Fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters,

during which they had to move out for a few days,

and in the end even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.

Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit.

Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit.

Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.

A month later, even though they had cut their price in half,

they could not find a buyer for their stinky house.

Word got out and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls.

Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house.

She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly,

and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad t he smell was,

he agreed on a Price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth,

but only if she were to sign the papers that very day.

She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home….
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.
.
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.
.
including the curtain rods.

I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON’T YOU?????

(This was sent to me by email. I hope this works anywhere around the world though. I hope this definitely helps!)

f you should ever be forced by a robber to withdraw money from an ATM machine, you can notify the police by entering your Pin # in reverse.

For example if your pin number is 1234 then you would put in 4321. The ATM recognizes that your pin number is backwards from the ATM card you placed in the machine.

The machine will still give you the money you requested, but unknown to the robber, the police will be immediately dispatched to help you.

This information was recently broadcasted on TV and it states that it is seldom used because people don’t know it exists.
Please pass this along to everyone possible.

Men have rules too you know.. its just
that hey’re not too whiny…

The Guy’s Side:
Now here are the
rules from the male side. These are our rules!
Please note … these are all numbered “1″ ON
PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big
girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up,
you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining
about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday = sports. It’s like the full moon or
the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never
going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on
this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong
hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers
to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want
help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is
what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a
problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible
in an argument. In fact, all comments become
null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won’t dress like the Victoria’s Secret
girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera
guys.

1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are.
Don’t ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two
ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or
angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell
us how you want it done. Not both. If you
already know best how to do it, just do it
yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you
have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions
and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows
default settings. Peach, for example, is a
fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We
have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do
that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you
say “nothing,” we will act like nothing’s wrong.
We know you might be lying, but it is just not
worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don’t want an
answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to
hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely
anything you wear is fine. Really.

1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless
you are prepared to discuss such topics as
baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster
trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this;
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch
tonight, but did you know men really don’t mind
that, it’s like camping.
Pass this to as many women as you
can - to give them an education

Cheers!

I was born intelligent -
Education ruined me.

………… ……… ……… ……… ……… ……… ….

Practice makes perfect…..
But nobody’s perfect….. .
So why practice?

………… ……… ……… ……… ……… ……… …….

If it’s true that we are here to help others,
Then what exactly are the others here for?

………… ……… ……… ……… ……… ……… …..

Since light travels faster than sound,
People appear bright until you hear them speak.

………… ……… ……… ……… ……… ……… …

How come “abbreviated” is such a long word?

………… ……… ……… ……… ……… ……… …….

Money is not everything.
There’s Mastercard & Visa.

………… ……… ……… ……… ……… ……… ….

�

If your father is a poor man,
It is your fate but,
If your father-in-law is a poor man,
It’s your stupidity.

………… ……… ……… ……… ……… ……..

Behind every successful man, there is a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two woman.

………… ……… ……… ……… ……… ……… …

Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing in
Life.

………… ……… ……… ……… ……… …….

The wise never marry.
And when they marry they become otherwise.

………… ……… ……… ……… ……… ……..

Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.

………… ……… ……… ……… ……… ……..

Never put off the work till tomorrow
What you can put off today.

………… ……… ……… ……… ……… ……… …….

“Your future depends on your dreams”
So go to sleep

………… ……… ……… ……… ……… ……… ….

There should be a better way to start a day
Than waking up every morning

………… ……… ……… ……… ……… ……… ..

“Hard work never killed anybody”
But why take the risk

………… ……… ……… ……… ……… ……… …

“Work fascinates me”
I can look at it for hours

………… ……… ……… ……… ……… ……… ….

God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.

………… ……… ……… ……… ……… ……… .

The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So.. Why learn.

………… ……… ……… ……… ……… ……..

A bus station is where a bus stops.

A train station is where a train stops.

On my desk, I have a work station….
What more can I say……..

In Italy

In Indonesia



In Malaysia



In Germany



In Hongkong


In China

In Korea

And Now…

In the Philippines : and ONLY in the Philippines!!!…

Beat That!!!

Life is so short, so break the rules!

Forgive like you have amnesia.

Believe like a kid.

Love like crazy.

Laugh til you fart.

And lastly,

Never regret anything that  made you happy!