Kill Me Now
Okay, the city where I living in right now is one of the most amazing cities in the world. This is the only city where you can sit down with a cup of coffee in a coffee shop with the intention of just lounging around, and end up having one of the most bizarre conversations in the world. Ever.
So there I was, minding my own business, when this old woman and plops herself down on the seat beside me. The coffee shop was full, so I didn’t really mind. And then she starts talking, which was just out of this world.
First she sighs, and makes a demure face. “I’m waiting for my husband,” she says in this really high-pitched, nasal voice as if I were just another one of her casual friends. Then she introduces herself. When she realizes that I don’t recognize the name, she mentions the name of this local star. “I’m her mother,” she concludes with a flourish.
Wow, I was thinking. Somebody please save me.
But I couldn’t very well just up and go. That would have been unpleasant. So I had to chat with her a little bit more.
She points to a school nearby. “My grandaughter studies there,” she says in her drawling, snooty voice. “And I live nearby. So sometimes, I just bring her to school. And that’s just one of my granddaughters. I have twenty.”
“Wow!” I say. “They must all be really pretty!” Because she was a rather pretty old woman. “They’re so lucky!”
She gives me a very sweet, tired, yes-dear-that’s-right smile and replies with a “Yes. Very lucky.”
This was how my face looked like in my mind:
