Today is April Fools’ Day. Here are some jokes to share. =)
1) Good Question
Bob couldn’t believe it — he’d made it to the last round of his favorite game show. “Congratulations, Bob,” said the emcee. “Answer correctly and you go home with five million dollars!
“This is a two-part question on American history,” he continued. “The second half of the question is always easier. Which part would you like first?”
Bob figured he’d play it safe. “I think I’ll try the second part of the question first.”
The emcee nodded approvingly, while the audience was silent with anticipation.
“Okay, Bob, here is your question: And in what year did it happen?”
2) What’s in a Name?
A young man called directory assistance. “Hello, operator, I would like the telephone number for Mary Jones in Phoenix, Arizona.”
“There are multiple listings for Mary Jones in Phoenix,” the operator replied. “Do you have a street name?”
The young man hesitated, and then said, “Well, most people call me Ice Man.”
3) Comic Calling
My younger brother, I explained to a friend, had quite a temper as a boy. Our parents had tried extra love, attention and patience on him, with little success. Then, in the middle of one of his tantrums, they simply handed him a shovel, pointed to the backyard and instructed him to go out and dig and not come back until he had control of his anger.
“Apparently,” I said, “the therapy worked, because he’s turned out very nicely.”
“What does he do for a living?” my friend asked.
“He builds in-ground swimming pools.”
The 16th tee featured a fairway that ran along a road. The first golfer in a foursome teed off and hooked the ball. It soared over the fence and bounced onto the street, where it hit the tire of a moving bus and ricocheted back onto the fairway.
As they all stood in amazement, one of the golfer’s friends asked, “How did you do that?” The golfer shrugged. “You have to know the bus schedule.”
5) Bank on a Blunder
As a bank teller, I was required to obtain identification from customers making withdrawals, even if I knew them. On Mrs. Brady’s third visit to my window in a week, she balked at my request for ID. “I can’t believe you don’t know me after all these years,” she said.
A few minutes later, I was relieving the drive-up teller and was surprised to see Mrs. Brady in the next car. “Hi, Mrs. Brady,” I said, laughing. “Back again so soon?”
“I’m glad you remember me,” she huffed, “because that girl inside never does!”