A special message from Mr. Paracelsuc Floodus, Chieftain of the Covenant Flood:

We’re known as the Flood but we lose a lot of blood, because the evil Master Chief shoots us like we were thieves.

We’re the really good guys, but since we constantly lose out, history has been rewritten to suit the needs of those UNSC Marines and their evil Master Chief. Dr. Mengele has seen nothing yet with the brutality that the Master Chief sets out to destroy us (as well as those other lesser alien life forms)

Above: Image of the Master Chief shooting at us, we of course need to attack in self defense… 

Infact, Captain Keyes wanted to become one of us…see below…looking mighty fine if I may say so (erhm)….

But noooo, he couldn’t be one of us in peace, who comes along and off’s him? The Evil Master Chief.

And the above are our little children, who are being relentlessly shot….you get the picture. Let the world know that we, the flood need not be shot to ridiculous little pieces 10 million times a day! We have feelings too you know!

—- message over and out —-

Editors Note: I usually would focus on the fate of those cute and cuddly creatures, the flood is not your typical cute and cuddly creature but we didn’t want to seem discriminatory, afterall we did say all creatures.