After an absence that I shall not explain (but don’t worry it doesn’t involve aliens and probes), let’s get back to business. Since I owe you more than one gadget, I shall in fact, bring you more than one gadget.

1,768 gadgets, to be exact.

Now what could be so special about this messy picture? Well it’s not a new all-in-one game console, if that’s what you’re thinking. This here is the 99% complete set of gaming consoles, collected by a random lamer — I mean gamer — and if you must have the list, here it is:

Atari 2600, Atari 7800, Atari Jaguar, Atari Lynx, Coleco ColecoVision, Coleco Gemini, Coleco Telstar, Commodore 64/128, GCE Vectrex, Mattel Aquarius, Mattel Intellivision, Mattel Odyssey 2, Microsoft Xbox, Microsoft Xbox 360, Miscellaneous APF TV Fun, Miscellaneous Handheld Games, Miscellaneous PC Games, Miscellaneous SC Eight Thousand, Miscellaneous Sega Pods, Miscellaneous TV Games, NEC Turbo Duo, Nintendo DS, Nintendo Game Boy Advance, Nintendo GameCube, Nintendo NES, Nintendo Nintendo 64, Nintendo Super NES, Nintendo Virtual Boy, Nintendo Wii, Sega Dreamcast, Sega Game Gear, Sega Genesis, Sega Master System, Sega Saturn, SNK Neo Geo, SNK Neo Geo Pocket, Sony Playstation, Sony Playstation 2, Texas Instruments TI 99/4A, VM Labs Nuon.

And this 30-year gaming history collection is on eBay. Yes, eBay. The estimated price for all of this is US$14,639, but as I type this, the current bid is at US$7,320. How high do you think it’ll get?

If you wanna see the details per console and stuff, click here. So basically, that’s [insert number, I’m lazy too count] consoles and tons of games, apparently including an extremely rare NiGHTS Christmas version!

Okay actually I have no idea what NiGHTS is. I think I need to brush-up on my Geek.

The pros: If you buy this, you will have the chance to be the ultimate gamer. You will have friends coming over from Hawaii. You will have people you don’t know claiming to be your friends from Hawaii. You will have mad videogame parties, and you will never have to be alone.

The cons: They’ll be taking CDs, cartridges, and controllers one by one. And you won’t even notice. 1,767… 1,766… 1,765…

…oh and no, no PS3.

Technorati tags: game, console, auction, atari, nintendo, xbox, sega, sony, texas instruments, mattel, nights, nec

I know what you’re thinking.

Okay I lied, what are you thinking?

As for me, it’s a simple “WTF” really. I think the image is pretty self-explanatory too. But now, giving this more thought, I’m starting to wonder if by chance I happen to be in the neighborhood (Japan) and happen to pass by a random store that happens to have this for sale (or in use by store owner), and I happen to have enough money / guts to pry it off said owner’s hands…would I do it?

We may never know.

The pros: You won’t have to feel like you raced your dog for that bowl of noodles. And you can satisfy your noodle-craving tendencies even if they’d normally be too hot to eat.

The cons: That thing has got to be heavy, and one of your arm’s bound to gain more muscle than the other. You will be a freak, and not because of the arm. And still, I contemplate that trip to Japan thing.

Technorati tags: noodles, soup, chopsticks, fan, japanese, japan, weird invention, weird gadget

See, this is the thing with humans. While every other living thing is content with normal, clear water, that just doesn’t cut it for us. So the humanitarian geeks of the world have come up with this, to calm that inner yearning.

It’s a light, in a faucet head. Attach it, and experience the life-changing way of the colored water.

But wait, there’s more. If you call within the next— I mean, this actually comes in two versions. The first one is just blue, and the other one is a temperature-sensitive faucet that turns red when your water temp hits 89 degrees. Aaah.

The pros: If the knobs on your faucet still confuse you as to how much hot water you have on, then this may actually be of use. Otherwise, you can still make clicky alien noises when you turn it on, and imagine yourself drinking alien fluids.

The cons: This may take you across that fine line between introverted, and just…weird. Yes, pretty color.

Technorati tags: faucet, led, light, color, water, random gadget

I present to you, the Meowlingual. Hold it next to your cat, and it supposedly translates meows and purrs for you. One of the phrases it can come up with is “I can’t stand it” and they seem to be working on more accurate wordings.

For US$75, you have the chance to find out if your cat enjoys your company, or is just sticking around to get some grub. So if your cat’s your only friend, you might not want to get this.

I’m kidding haha, I like cats. Peace on Earth. Though, I do wonder what Jim Davis thinks of this.

The pros: If you’re a cat-lover, this might bring you closer to your cat. But then again it could be like that magic 8-ball, giving you random answers. Hmmm.

The cons: Since it just gives you a rough idea of what your cat’s “saying”, there’s no way for you to find out if what Furball really means is “Get that thing away from me or you’ll regret not having me de-clawed.” That is, until it’s too late.

There’s also a dog version of this, the Bowlingual, but I personally don’t wanna know what my dog’s thinking when it’s humping the couch.

Technorati tags: meowlingual, cat, pet, gadget, takara tomy, meow

Maybe I should stop here, hold off the explanation, and wait for you guys to get lost in your little fantasies of world domination and/or destruction.

I would, but that’s my dream.

I’m kidding. Anyway this is, and isn’t, what it looks like. Your know-it-all officemate screws everything, things just keep getting worse and you realize you have to handle clean-up. To make things worse, your boss thinks it’s your fault. If you’re like me, this here Big Red Button’s starting to make sense. Eh, eh? Yeah you know what I’m talking about.

But since blowing up your state, your office, or your officemate would definitely result in you losing your job, this may help.

Plug it in your USB port, flip the switches, turn the key and press the button! You won’t really get to blow stuff up but at least you’ll get the satisfaction your itchy button-pressing finger needs. The rest, it leaves up to your (dark and sinister) imagination.

Funny thing is that they say it’s suitable for ages 14+. Kids these days.

The pros: Once you press it, it gives this loud honking noise that’ll at least get them all to panic. Also it’s practice for the real thing. Wink wink nudge nudge. Oh and it is a USB hub anyway, but that’s besides the point.

The cons: The loud honking noise will probably tick your boss off even more, and you might end up wondering if you can ever get your US$72 (and your job) back. Will probably work for your boss though.

Technorati tags: armageddon, usb hub, weird gadget, destruction, big red button

A black shirt. A black cotton shirt. A black cotton shirt that uses 3 AAA batteries, tells you when there’s a nearby 802.11 b/g network, and indicates the signal strength.

Truth is, this looks like a good idea. And honestly, at first glance the design isn’t bad. But check out what the shirt really looks like, and see how it’s actually a MIDI Christmas song short of turning you into a decoration for the holidays.

And no, I don’t care if you’re trying to get with a librarian, W-Fi signal strength is not a good conversation starter. You read right, now put those US$30 back in your pocket.

The pros: You’re probably the only one you know who has this. And if “unique” translates to “cool” in your dictionary, then go get it, friend. And good luck. Also, this may draw more people to you since many people use Wi-Fi…

The cons: …which may be a bad thing, coz 2 seconds after “being drawn” to you, they move away and you realize they’d rather chat with random people on MySpace than talk with you. That and the back might have the word “dork” written on it, not that this isn’t sad enough.

Technorati tags: wi-fi shirt, wi-fi, detector, signal, dork

They have USB stuff for everything. I think I’ll start looking for a USB grill, or a USB smoothie maker.

As if you don’t give your fridge at home more attention than you do your pet dog (next to your PC of course, you geek you), you now have the option to bring a mini fridge along with you to work. It works like a real fridge too, blue LED lights up when you open the door.

The temperature drops to 8.5 degrees in 5 minutes. US$33 to get this lazy man’s toy.

Oh crap they already have a USB grill? What the…

The pros: You’ll have that carbonated goodness within arm’s reach, and the way the soda can fits so nicely into it reminds you of the day you tried sleeping in the dog house despite Fido’s wet dog smell. Uh. Aww?

The cons: You’d be depriving yourself of the exercise from the only reason other than bathroom breaks to get your butt off your seat at work. Work.. sure.. that’s what you’re doing.

Technorati tags: mini fridge, weird gadget, usb gadget, carbonated, coke, soda

The funny thing about this toilet roll is that they seem to focus on the practical uses — like reminding visitors to flush, dispose their nasty garbage properly, or wash their hands.

But in my opinion anything that talks to you while you’re on the john, can’t be as practical as they try to make it seem. In fact I think this is the type of thing that starts tribal wars.

I mean, just look at what’s on the box. “Would you like a receipt for your deposit?” Is that not one of the most offensive things to say to someone with LBM?

So this is definitely a random gadget, if you ever find yourself willing to pay $40 to get this, then you probably have a very good reason. Maybe you need to hear a soothing voice to uh “facilitate” your toileting experience, then I guess this does work for you.

The pros: You can record a line from Dog The Bounty Hunter, preferrably something that starts with “I’M GONNA BUST YOUR —” and, scare the crap (quite literally) out of a friend using your bathroom. Good times.

The cons: Said prank will not work twice. And getting this might make you realize that you have no one to talk to and thusly have to converse with your own recorded voice — in the bathroom. Bad times.

Technorati tags: toilet, roll, toilet paper, bathroom, funny gadget, talking, voice