Today I had tet(=working life becoming acquainted) place and it’s the Maria Drockilan kynttiläpaja (Maria Drockila’s candle smithy). And I’ve now office home and students programbox and finally I’ve microsoft word in my computer

OMFG! I listened Glass Skin sample all the day and now it’s first of top 20 in my mp3-player. XDD And it’s sooooooo beautifull and simply I just love it. XD

Now I jam D’espairsRays Garnet. I love it too XD.

BUT NOW Let’s thinks more serioisly things. I think that Laura isn’t my good friend anymore. She avoide me in messenger and she only complain just her own things. She doesn’t ever listen what I have say or what I feel. It’s disgusting. And then she say that I’m her the best friend, but I’m not. 8( She is weird teen.

Arrrr! Tomorrow we have sports on school and just two lessons ;<! I hate it too. We just run and run and run. .__. Okay, In my opinion running is funny when I run alone. XD

And I’ll go to Orimattila city by train tomorrow! I’m so happy that I’ll get to mom’s place!<3

Okay but byebye, I’ve nice day today!

AHHHH<3 ! I LOVE DIR EN GREYS GLASS SKIN SAMPLE! It’s beautifull and white. I just listen it all the time. XD

And today I saw Peeti and she told me that she get out of the hospital  next week! I’m so happy for that ! And then we can just do some things together. I just cry for the happyness!

And I hate one boy of my class. He say that I’m emokid, but I’m not. I hate him and some day I’ll hit him and hard! 8<

AH WONDERFULL WEEKEND! I think it still it gone. XD
I think that I can put some photos here.

so.
we in train on friday:

and our chupachups:

and deathnote #3 when my cousin blinget her phone and it didn’t manage. We put blings on Ryuk eyes. :———D

Next day (saturday) we went shoping to Lahti.

and ate ice cream.

At evening (actually at night) we was in Ice hall of Helsinki. Sexpistols gig was there.

It was wonderfull!
Then on Sunday we left home by train.
And we took two photo in railway station.
In first poic we have our tickets with us.

and second when we sat on the sill.

And I took one photo from our place in train. XD It was nice place.

IT WAS GREATFULL WEEKEND! I love it.♥

Oh shit. This day was hard and now I want listen to greeeens day by day. It’s greatfull song, but I don’t listen it yet ’cause I’m listening to Creed and D’espairsRay.

Ah! Now I listen to The Sex pistols! Actually I love punk and japan. XD Now I have stupid feel. :————–D but it doesn’t matter XD

Tomorrow I have to go school at ten o’clock. Usually I have to go 8 o’clock, but that why Tuesday is nice day. >3<

AH ! The weekend was wonderfull<3! I’ve seen Rotten and other and while ago my cousin sent photos that she’s taken. They are funny. And today I saw Peeti.

So, I’m home again and things are not good in here. I want go away from here but still I want to stay here. I’m stupid.
AND I’M SOOOOOO TIRED. you can’t believe me.

They were in Helsinki city and they have the consert here. We (Piia and I) were there listen to it. It was wonderfull and I justlove it!<3 (but soimetime I feel faint….) Rotten was cool and others too! And I got the sexpistols band-shirt.<3 It’s yellow and they’ve black and pink texts! I’m soooo happy and and happyhappyhappy<3! AAAAAAAAaaah<3  If you would be here you’ve love it ! (oh shit my english is very bad just at nights!) Byebye!<<3

AH AH AH AH ! Tonight we’ll go to Helsinki city and there we’ll go to the consert. The Sexpistols. We’ll see Rotten and others!♥ Oh! WONDERFULL!

And we were in Lahti city and shoped very much! I found 2 shirts and some manga etc!. I love this day!

HAHAHAHA ! I’m in Orimattila city and Piia is with me. Piia is just now watching to the muppet shiw and I’m surfing on the net; so we are in living room.
Okay, but now we stop the muppet show and move on my room. There we’ll surf on net.

Ah<3 Today was hard. I’ve curbed my cry all the long day! Our sosial studies lesson was very hard ’cause we spoke our familys and what family is. It was hard to listen what family mean to others. They love their families and they have fun time with family. WHY I CANNOT? I just show that I’m happy but rly I’m not.
And study guidance lesson our study advisor shout me ’cause I’ve been noisy but I didn’t. I just say that: ‘Essi, don’t take the pic!’ when she tried to take a photo of my grimace. Others were noisier than me! And our study advisor just shout me, not they! She is stupid 8( I hate her too.

Now I’m listening to MUCC. I love it. But I nearly cry when I listen it.

I made a run today ’cause yesterday I didn’t. It feel nice!<3

So byebye!

Arrgh! I have to loose the weight ’cause I’m too fat. >: I want dress cute and nice clothes and I can’t if I’m fat like that.

And I want buy a camera ’cause then I can immortalize more happening when it happen. And I like to taking photos!

I’m happy a bit just now and it’s great thing! Things are going to better way and I’m a bit happy. But I’m still little bit haunted. This is irritating feeling.

I remember when my computer was on the floor and I have to sat on the floor. It was funny!

My guitar has cute feeling.

HAHAHAHA! I’m sad again. Why? Tell me ’cause I don’t know! My eyes close by itself. Am I tired? Maybe.
I’ve read Fushigi Yuuki #16-17 today. And they’re agonizing.

I want some blingg that I can decorate my phone and mp3 player and something like that!

Heh Heh! I’m just now in school. I think that I want to listen GreeeeNs music just now, but I too lazy that I take my mp3 player.

I think that I want to go language course someday or I want go to exchange student to japan ! 

okay bye

Ah<3! I’m listening to Katatonias music. It’s wonderfull ! It’s unhappy and just great for this moment. I’m rly sad and I can’t stand this anymore. I want just vanish. I don’t want be here anymore. I can’t.  Tomorrow I’ll take some papers and destroy them ’cause I don’t want that my stepmom or my dad get them. They would like to kill me if they can read them. So that’s why I’ll destroy them. I think that I’ll fire them or I shred them or somthing like that. But I’m sure that I’ll destroy them.
And my dad destroied my wish that I can get out of here. I can’t.

Today at school is so stupid and I hate some students. And Tosrpo is very funny when he try to tease us (usually me and Essi). Ville tease me too. They r very funny when they try it ’cause I just laugh at them.
Tomorrow schoolday’ll be nice ’cause it’s short (10-14) and we have two lessons mother language and it’s so easy. And ’cause our school starts later than usually I can go to buy chewing gum. It’s good and I love it. XD

And I was a horse-riding lesson today. It’s nice. I rided a horse that was five years old and he couldn’t do every exercise. His name is Tähti (Star in english). Tähti is wonderfull horse !

Thnxxbye!

AH ! I’m happy that I maybe can get out of here ! I’m waiting for it ! If I get out of here I’m happy and wont visit home many times, maybe once in week. I hope that I get here ’cause then I get out of here ! Junailijan koti are maybe full and I have to be here long time before it, but I hope, I hope so much !
And just now I act happy but I’m not happy. I’m sad actually. I don’t want get out of here, but it’s better that stay here. I’m sad ’cause I’m the reason of my stepmoms anxiety. I don’t wanna be like this piece of shit. I’m the mistake.
I hate myself more that before.

ahahhahhaa! I’m laughing that sanriotowns blogs have finn writers ! But still I’ll write english even my english is very bad. It doesn’t matter.
And I can’t understand that why people write here in their own language even this place is international. Okay. Anybody in here isn’t ban to do it, but however. Who understand you if you write this blong on your own language. Okay, your friend that come from same country and they who understand your native language. But still english is most used language in the world if chinese wont count in.

So I’m sad today. Peetis holiday ends and she’ll get back to hospital and I’m alone. I wont go school tomorrow ’cause I’m very lonely then. I want sleep sleep sleep and sleep these stupid schooldays and live weekends! Then I’ll be happy, but I know that it’s impossible.

I’m waiting for that I’ll make a run ’cause I ate lots of sweet on weekend and I don’t want get myself fat. ARGH!

I’m waiting for answer that a question that I show some days ago here. And I’ll ask it so many times that somebody’ll tell me the answer, so I ask again. How I can change myself?

AAAH! I’m too happy that this can be true!  Peeti is on holiday and I’ll go to Peeti’s home and we’ll watch a movie! And eat sweets. >:D It’ll be fun !

I have new jeans! I love them !

And soon we party Aapos birthday!

SOMEBODY HELP ME THAT HOW I CAN CHANGE MYSELF!
I need help !

Arrgh! I’m laughing! I have stupid day and I make a run today too !

I want draw something, but I don’t know what! Tell me what I can draw !

And  I need something that I can do ’cause I’m bored soon. Tell me, Tell me !

Yak. I don’t eat anything long time ’cause I decide that I didn’t eat anything tonight, but my dad and stepmom say that I have to go drink coke and eat some sweet and now I have bad feeling in my stomach. I have bad conscience too. I’m fail. >:

AH! I don’t want to be here in aapos birthday party ’cause I can go to Kuopio and see my friend, Peeti. And I’ll do nothing  and others have fun time. It’s not very fun. But happyly they are just at Saturday!

And my dad show that he want that I belong this family but I don’t. And soon I eat something and change fat. I don’t want eat. And I want go to a run, but I wait for ‘hiljainen’(a silent half-hour in hospital)  ’cause then I can call Peeti and we can speak a while.  After call I go to a run!

I don’t want be so faaaaaaaaaaail that I’m just now. I don’t like my hair, I don’t like my look. I don’t like myself! I want be somebody else !

Tell me how I can change myself?