Hello everyone! Sorry about the lack of updates. Did you know yesterday was Sailor Moon’s Birthday? It was also Chibi Moon’s, Chibi Chibi’s, Cosmos’s and Kousagi’s birthday too, AND Terry Funk! Okay, on to today’s news!

Ring of Honor news first, then WWE, then TNA, then Sailormoon. Okay?

ROH: Saturday I had a great view of all the extreme action going on in Chicago!

Honky Tonk Man was present for autographs and I just wanna point out how awesome he is in person! He was really sweet to my brother and I, and even spoke at length with us. Really great guy! And he still looks exactly the same as his action figure. “All clean, no ‘roids!” He smiled.

Also signing was a surprise guest; Bushwacker Luke! Luke was making fans laugh, as each time someone got a pic with him, the photographer would say 1… 2….3 and as the shutter is pressed, Luke makes a face!

Honky Tonk Man and Luke rule!

Here are your match results~ along with important news!

Pre Show 1: PWO’s Josh Raymond Ambercrombie (formally of WSX) teamed with C.J. Otis and together they defeated the team of Mitch Franklin and Kyle Durden. Ambercrombie is now sporting long dark braids, and spent most of the show after this match sitting in with fans, carefully studying crowd reaction time and different moves.

Pre Show 2: In an intense match, Trik Davis defeated newcomer Shane Hollister. Hollister is still green, but tried his level best in the match.

Pre Show 3: Ernie Osirus came out, sporting a new “Dirty” gimmick, wearing a messed up tank top and hat, and sharply defeated a bright newcomer named Egotistico Fantastico. Egosistico was billed …

“From Mexico City, Illinois, weighing in at 3000, 300, 3000 and another thousand and some hundred pounds~ Egotistico Fantastico!!”

Skinny, tall and shy, Egotistico came out in a ratty blue lucha costume. And although lil’ Ego lost the match to Enrie’s skills, Ego did win a fanbase for life! Chicago errupted in a booming “Please come back” chant!

First DVD match up. Remember what happened with Delirious, Daizee and Rhett? Here’s a recap:

Delirious likes Daizee.

Rhett likes Daizee… AND Delirious.

Delirious doesn’t like Rhett.

Daizee is annoyed by Rhett, but likes him as a friend.

Daizee likes Delirious, but isn’t sure if she likes him just because he’s her teacher or as something more.

Initially, this was a 4 corners match, but Rhett opened his mouth. He decided that from now on, he wanted to be Delirious’s tag team partner, with Daizee as their manager.

Delirious was less than thrilled. He spent most of his time out there with his eyes outside of his head.

Delirious and Rhett beat Sugarfoot Alex Payne and Silas Young. Silas is rockin’ a new beard, and looks in tip-top shape! After the match, Delirious was hugged~against his will~ by Rhett.

Match 2: Somehow, Erick Stevens beat Jay Briscoe. Yeah, I KNOW!! Mark Briscoe by the way was looking much better, and stood at ringside for his big brother’s match.

Match 3: Lights Out match: Chris Hero needed help to beat Pelle Primeau. Brent Albright came out and tried to tilt the favor onto Pelle’s side, but idiot boy supreme~ Yes, referee Todd Sinclair~ saw to it that Hero wins. Hero by the way comes out to the song “I need a Hero”.

Match 4: Necro Butcher (who actually cleans up nice and found someone cute) and Tyler Black w/ Allison Wonderland defeated Kevin Steen and El Generico.

No, I’m sorry. Jimmy Jacobs STILL insists on keeping Lacey’s scream in the music, despite the fact that she’s gone into hiding and dumped him.

After the match, Austin Aries came out and toyed with Necro’s mind. That took Austin about 2 seconds to totally get in there. He asked Necro to think carefully. Are the Age of the Fall members just using you? Or do they really care?

Match 5: In a hillarious and shocking competition, Claudio Castagnoli defeated Bryan Danielson! The two tried out each other’s moves. Bryan got Claudio up in an airplane spin for a count of 19, then Claudio got Bryan in the big swing for a count of 7. Then both men fell down, too dizzy to get up. They both asked Todd Sinclair for a time out, but the ref would not budge. So thinking quickly, Bryan hoisted Todd up into an airplane spin! Bryan’s let his hair grow out some. Claudio’s upset victory was a shocker to say the least!

Match 6: Sara Del Ray somehow won against MisChif and Daizee. I KNOW!

After this, Sara and MisChif stayed in the ring as Dave Prazak attempted filiming a segment for the next video wire, but Larry Sweeney brought his brood out, shooing the SHIMMER women aside.

Larry brought out Johnny Fairplay, who jumped Larry. The two embraced sweetly. (They make a cute couple!)

Larry introduced Go Shiozaki as the latest Sweet N’ Sour member. He also brought out Honky Tonk Man. The crowds ooohed and awed at Honk Tonk Man, who was sporting his classic black suit. Honky Tonk Man really wanted to sing, but Larry sent him back. The crowd hates Larry.

Match 7: Due to ref stoppage, Brent Albright and Roderick Strong were declared the winners over Adam Pearce and Go Shiozaki. The match was hot, and due to everything Brent’s been through, it looked like Brent was gonna club Adam out of this world, but Adam blew a HUGE fireball in Brent’s face. No word on how bad the burn is on Brent. Adam beat the refs aside as Brent was being pulled aside.

Match 8: Nigel McGuinness beat Jerry Lynn in a HOT match. Nigel tried telling Lynn that his time was long gone, and that Lynn should retire, and Lynn reminded Nigel that his horsesh*t tude wasn’t gonna fly. This match was intense, there were even wrestlers watching backstage that were cheering, since nobody knew who would make it! Chi-town wants to see Lynn back soon!

Match 10: The main event~ Austin Aries beat the daylights out of Jimmy Jacobs! Jacobs, sporting a new emo mohawk complete with pink, orange and yellow bangs, came out with shy Allison Wonderland. Before the match got underway, Jacobs insisted on a new stipulation. Winner gets to name the next match when they return to Chicago August 16th. Austin agreed. The two ex-friends battled in the ring, out the ring, in the crowd, on cement, back to the ring, back outside, and all the way, Jimmy tried everything. Biting, scratching, he even pulled out barbed wire and scissors from his underwear! AND HE KISSED AUSTIN TOO! Then, the match got really hot!

The Age of the Fall had come out, but before they could help Jimmy, The Briscoe Bros. came out and beat them back! Then MisChif came out, but attacked Austin. As she tried to escape, Austin grabbed her hair. But then, MisChif sprayed Austin with green mist!

But even though he lost 90% of his vision with the mist, Austin kept beating Jimmy! He kicked the boy several times in the head and pinned Jimmy with a 450 splash!

Then, Austin announced the stipulation for August 16th.

It will be a no DQ match… Jimmy Jacobs… vs.. NECRO BUTCHER!!

After the match, some dissrespectful fans threw bottles at Jacobs, laughing at him. Jacobs yelled at everyone, left and then came back with a trash bag, cleaning up the ring. Tyler stood and watched, making sure that Jacobs cleans up well, so that the other wrestlers only have a little bit left to do. The ROH team felt this was a small but good punishment for Jacobs’ insanity.

Correction: Okay, although the McMahon skit was planned, McMahon did NOT fall the way he should have, and did suffer an injury. Only 2 thirds of the set were rigged to fall apart. But the pyro, the large sign and part of the trap door were NOT. So to recap, there was an accident on Raw last week, and yes, McMahon has suffered some kind of injury. The severity is being kept under wraps as per Vince’s wishes. 

WWE: There was a PPV.

Miz and Morrison are still the tag team champs.

Matt Hardy obliterated Chavo! On a side note for this one, Tazz and Adamle were mysteriously pulled from commentary, until Kane’s match. SmackDown’s Mick Foley and JR commentated. Yes ladies and gents, JR’s a brat.

Mark Henry was handed the ECW title. No, I’m not gonna say Kane and Big Show lost, that’s just how it is.

Cody Rhodes dumped Bob Holly, and joined Ted Dibiase Jr in an ambush, to re-win the belt he already had on him, but now Ted is his partner!

HBK initially no-showed, leaving Y2J to put his belt up against Kofi Kingston. But low and behold, that lying lil’ SOB Shawn DID come out afterall, distracting Y2J long enough for Kofi to get the IC title.

Shawn, if u kan read this, Jericho is gonna nock you silly.

Mickie James retained the title against Katie Lea.

Edge needed several other people to help him retain against Batista.

HHH was jobbed by Cena.

Now for Raw:

JR came out to give a farewell speech, as he is full time SmackDown. (Crybaby.) Edge came out and shooed him away. Batista came out and knocked Edge silly. Then, CM Punk came out with a ref, screaming at said ref about the briefcase.

Punk cashed in his title shot.

Punk hoisted Edge up. GO TO SLEEP!

1… 2… 3!!!

C.M. PUNK IS THE NEW RAW CHAMPION!!!!!! THAT’S MY BOY!!! XD

Oh yeah. Mickie beat up Jillian, but may have popped her shoulder.

PUNK IS DA CHAMPION!!!

JBL bullied his way into a title shot against Punk. Edge drove away, smacking the hell out of his boys for not rescuing him earlier.

PUNK IS DA CHAMP!!!!

Rey Mysterio Jr attempted a speech, but Santino Marella inturrupted him. Rey gave Santino a 619 and a free butt whoopin’ for his efforts.

PUNK IS DA CHAMP!!

Shane O’ Mac had come out at the beginning of the show, to say that he wanted the roster to pull together. JBL chucked that advice, naming his looney tunes self “Marshal Law”.

Cena had cut a promo, joking with fans that there are other people NOT JBL who need a shot at Punk’s belt. JBL got security to take him outside, along the way, JBL beat Cena.

PUNK IS DA CHAMP!!!

Cody and Ted Jr came out and beat two local jobbers who look really familiar. Afterwards, they bragged about how their old dads fostered “paying your dues” onto them, but now they don’t care. They also made fun of Bob Holly for being a “talentless old baby boomer”. Expect a beating next week.

PUNK IS DA CHAMP!!!

Jaime Noble bugged Kane, despite Katie Lea’s warnings. Jaime tried telling Kane what to do. Kane decimated Jaime.

PUNK IS DA CHAMP!!!

In a rematch, Kofi Kingston beat Y2J due to a stupid ref, who DQed Jericho for the hell of it.

PUNK IS DA CHAMP!!!

In the main event, JBL lost to Punk, after JBL got distracted by Cena, who had returned with Cryme Time. The three took it to the security guards, and it became a street war on the outside, while on the inside, Punk got the GTS on JBL. Punk then leaped over the ropes, and helped Cena and Cryme Time clean house.

PUNK IS DA CHAMP!!! ROH RULES!!!

TNA: In honor of the World X Cup, several TNA stars will be traveling to a CMLL show soon. They include AJ Styles, Alex Shelley, Sabin and others.

Sailormoon: Here are the weekend results of the poll thus far. Do you WANT Sailormoon back? Then get voting! Sned me a list of your favorite characters at rasslinkitty@hellokitty.com!

Favorite Inner Senshi:

Sailor Moon 54 votes

Sailor Cosmos 20 votes

Sailor Mercury 10 votesSailor Mars 25 votes

Sailor Jupiter 10 votesSailor Venus/Codename Sailor V  20 votes

Favorite Outer Senshi:Sailor Saturn 45 votes

Sailor Uranus 26 votesSailor Neptune 10 votes

Sailor Pluto 43 votes Favorite Chibi Senshi (Pick two)

Chibiusa/Rini 60 votesKousagi 41 votes

Chibi Chibi 52 votes

Ami Jr 16 votes

Rei Jr 12 votesMako 10 votes

Mina 12 votesFavorite Male character (Pick two):

Tuxedo Mask/Moonlight Knight 48 votesHelios/Pegasus 48 votes

Peruru 44 votes

Favorite Cat:

Luna 56 votesArtemis 32 votes

Diana 22 votes

Luna-P 7 votes

Kousagi’s cat 4 votesSailor Tin Nyanko 5 votes

Favorite Main Villain:Queen Beryl 34 votes

Wiseman 12 votesMaster Pharoh 90 8 votes

Queen Nepherenia 16 votesZirconia 6 votes

Sailor Galaxia 23 votesChaos 8 votes

Favorite Amazon Group:

Amazon Trio 14 votesAmazon Quartet 37 votes

Sailor Amazoness Quartet 43 votes

Favorite Magical Character (You may pick two):

Queen Serenity 71 votesPhobos & Deimos 41 votes

Cosmos Starseed 19 votes

Favorite Star Senshi (You may pick two):

Sailor Star Fighter 40 votesSailor Star Healer 48 votes

Sailor Star Maker 18 votes

Sailor Kakyuu 24 votes

Aluminum Siren 15 votesLead Crow 3 votes

Iron Mouse 22 votesHeavy Metal Papillion 21 votes

Lethe 6 votesMnemosyne 14 votes

Phi 6 votesChi 6 votes

Everyone get voting!

Well that’s it for now, as always stay clean and healthy and read a good book when you can. Until next time!

The Rasslinkitty

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