Hello everyone! Today I’m only going to write about what’s important, so all of the WWE and TNA news is postponed until my next blog. There’s no news on the Sailormoon front either, so let’s get to today’s HUGE news!

ROH: Mark Briscoe will undergo surgery Friday to repair his arm, after he was stabbed with a spike by Jimmy Jacobs, Saturday in Chicago. Mark’s injury occured after he and his older brother Jay lost a match with Alex Shelley and Chris Sabin, but before I continue with the severe nature of Mark’s condition, lemme start off with the beginning of the show first:

Rhett Titus & Danny Daniels defeated Trik Davis & Current Top of the Class trophy holder Ernie Osiris in a fun-spirited match during the pre-show. Titus loves dressing up, and this time wore a white Playboy vest with matching bow tie.

At 7:45, the main show started. The opening contest saw Austin Aries defeat the returning Silas Young, who as you know, has come back from a several month stay with WWE. Silas tried many different moves, but ultimately he was bested by the more experianced Austin. AAaaaaaaaaand THAT’s where things got dicey!!

Jimmy Jacobs came out, and at first was happy, thinking that Austin was now a part of Age of The Fall, having previously sent Lacey to Austin’s to persuade him. However, Jacobs reminded his “friend” to stay back from Lacey from now on, as he doesn’t like people messing with HIS “things”. Ah, but Austin corrected Jacobs, telling him that during the week, Lacey and Austin had enjoyed plenty of “non-verbal communication” and that although she showed him what AotF could do for HIM, HE wound up showing HER what HE can do for her. He then added that for Jacobs to send a woman to do a man’s job, means that Jacobs is… an alternate word that means “kitty”. Austin warned Jacobs to stay away from himself AND Lacey. The two stormed off after that.

Sugarfoot Alex Payne and Mitch Franklin were supposed to have a one-on-one match, but Jacobs, still visably angry, decided that he was so upset at Austin for taking Lacey, that he was going to send Necro Butcher to beat up Sugarfoot and Mitch.

Okay, lemme re-type that, in case you just said “HUH??”.

Jimmy Jacobs, was so mad at Austin Aries for taking Lacey, that he sent Necro Butcher to beat up Sugarfoot and Mitch. Okay, Whaaaaaaaaaaaat? WTF?

Necro bloodied the two boys. And then babbled incoherently about facing Morishima in May. HUH??? (You should have seen everyone’s faces…)

Claudio Castagnoli & Pelle Primeau defeated Brent Albright & Adam Pearce who brought  Shane Hagadorn & Larry Sweeney along. Pelle had a hard time with Brent and Adam, but was sporting a cool new hairdo! From far back, his hair is now black with blue highlights, but up close, it’s also purple, green and yellow! (Nice kid, I got his autograph) anyway, Pelle survived many brutal chops from Brent, whom at one point hit the kid so hard his back almost bled! But Pelle carried on, and tagged in Claudio, and Claudio saved the match, to the delight of the Chicago crowd. After the match, Brent stormed off, leaving the rest of his group frantically trying to calm him down and bring him back. (Psst! Brent! Face-turn? It’ll work!)

MsChif beat the living daylights out of former PWO starlet Ashley “Lexi” Lane, in a four corner match that also included Daizee Haze and Lacey. Ashley had gotten herself new brests, in an attempt to woo the ROH crowd, but too bad the girl hasn’t learned yet that Ring Of Honor is about WRESTLING and well…. HONOR. Not showboating breastsusus. With that having been said, Ashley was dominated by Shimmer’s finest. By the way, MsChif as always had the best outfit of the Shimmer women, sporting  Christmas-Green attire. Daizee gets second place, with a cute white, lavender and green outfit in spring-time colors.

After the match, Jacobs came back out again, and was decent enough to hold the ropes for MsChif’s exit. Jacobs asked Lacey to tell him that Austin was lying earlier, and that nothing had happened. Lacey took the mic, and screeched for the crowd to give her some privacy! (Crowd cracks up!) Lacey says “Jimmy! Jimmy honey? Baby, I don’t want to do this in public, I…. I don’t know how to tell you… imbreakingupwitubyebye!!” To wit she drops the mic, runs up the ramp, and is greeted by Austin with a movie ending snog to end all kisses!!!!

O.O                    Woah…. Insert Tuxedo Mask~Sailor Moon pic here.

Austin and Lacey leave, with her echos of “I’m Sorry” ringing in Jacobs’s head, as he fell to the canvas, weeping.

………. And he stayed there, weeping. Until Tyler Black, Zach Gowen, Joey Matthews and Allison Wonderland came to collect him. Jacobs repeatedly swatted the team back, insisting upon privacy, as Tyler rolled his eyes. At first, the crowd was chanting for his tears, mocking him, but when it became obvious that he was REALLY hurt, the crowd turned sympathetic.

Chris Hero enjoyed a miracle win over Delirious, while Larry Sweeney spent the whole match tormenting Bobby Dempsey, trying to hide him, and even slapping him! Despite what’s been said about the shy Bobby, he HAS lost quite a bit of weight since his first pre-show matches.

The Murder City Machine Guns of Alex Shelley and Chris Sabin had a miracle match of their own, when they somehow beat the Briscoe Bros! Alex and Sabin, whom were sporting Delirious inspired Green pants, were welcomed by the Chicago crowd warmly, after their one year absence from Ring of Honor, due to TNA commitments. Alex especially seemed at home during the match, while Sabin was showing off what he had learned from last year’s match. The match was intense and high energy, with the crowd leaping to their feet at EVERY single move either side had made. If there’s a reason to buy the DVD, THIS MATCH IS IT!!

After the contest though, Jimmy Jacobs (remember him?) came tearing out, as the full AotF piled in, beating on the Briscoes, while Alex pushed a confused Sabin up the ramp to safety.  Jacobs then pulled a pimped out spike, complete with Jaguar head, out from his cane, and stabbed Mark in the arm. Mark screamed up the ramp, as Jay ran after him, panicky. Necro Butcher was so shocked, that he declared Jacobs WRONG, and went his own way behind the other members.

Kouta Ibushi (who had Michael Nakazawa with him) defeated El Genericho in a slow starting, but fun match. Twards the end, both men started to really fly, as the crowd woke up in applause. This was Kouta’s first Chicago match, and hopefully by the pro-Kouta chants, it may not be his last. (Maybe??)

Tyler, Joey and Zach of the AotF defeated The Vulture Squad of Jack Evans, Ruckus and Jigsaw in another high energy bout. Ruckus has shown some improvement, though he copies off of Molly Holly, while Zach seems out of place with ROH, and botched several of his own moves.

After the match, Jacobs (Yeah, again.) came out to settle the score with Austin. Austin came right out, and was briefly subdued by the AotF. But as Jacobs was going to stab Austin in the neck, Lacey came trucking out, begging Jacobs to stop. Jacobs screamed at her, and threatened to spike her too, but ultimately still loves Lacey, and thus can’t hurt her. Nope, not even with the Chicago crowd behind him. Nu-uh. Jacobs walked away sobbing, while Tyler yelled out “Dude what is WRONG with you???” as the AotF followed. Necro was not with them at the time.

Kevin Steen got his butt beat royally by Nigel McGuiness in the main event. Steen needs a new hobby. First the Briscoes, and now Nigel? Oy vey… Nigel almost took the kid’s head off!

Well, Raw’s starting with MVP bothering Jericho, so I must dash. As always, stay clean and healthy and read a good book when you can. Until Next time!

GET WELL SOON MARK BRISCOE!!!

The Rasslinkitty

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