Hello everyone! This past weekend was an exciting one, let’s get to it!

TNA: SAMOA JOE IS YOUR NEW TNA CHAMPION!!! I thought I’d get to the hottest story out of TNA right off the bat. Joe’s family was in attendance, as Joe soundly pummled Kurt Angle in the Lockdown main event. It was described as one of the most intense TNA matches of the year, and it’s only April! Also on the card, BG James beat Kip, and then after the match, held his hand out to him. Kip held BG’s hand up, only to cheap shot him a second later. ODB and Gail Kim enjoyed an accidental victory over Awesome Kong and Saeed, after Kong hit Saeed by mistake. Booker T and Sharmell whipped Bobby Roode and Ms. Payton Banks in a fairly fast match, Team Cage beat Team Tomko, after AJ Styles was dropped on his head off a cage through a table! (Hope he’ll heal okay!!) and then there were two oddball matches. Stop me when they sound like Vince Russo wrote the stipulations.

First up, lemme tell you the stipulations of the Cuffed in the Cage match: Eleven sets of handcuffs were stationed inside the cage. Each man who was cuffed was eliminated. The 12th man free was declared the winner. Meaning that only one man would represent his tag team, even though his partner would still be in the match, so in effect it was every man for himself, instead of his team. If you just scratched you head and said “HUH??” then you are a-ok! Super Eric won.

Now lemme tell you about the other head scratching match, the Queen of the cage match: ALL of the TNA Knockouts (except for ODB, Kong, Gail or Saeed/Melissa) battle on the outside, and whichever two make it into the cage, get to wrestle one on one, until one woman remains. AH, correct me if I’m wrong, but doesn’t CZW have an almost identical match, except with men, cardboard and crud from their mommies’ basements? Check out the WSX DVD set, it’s an extra. Anyway, if again you just shook your head and said “Whaaaaat?” then you are still a-ok! Roxxi Laveaux won!

Now onto one spot that I just can’t wrap my head around. The X-scape match was first on the card?!?!?! Yes, you read that right. The match for the X-Division Championship was first on the card. Showing you exactly what Dixie Carter now thinks of the people who originally put TNA on the map. The match was HOT, with the contenders whittling down to Johnny Devine and Jay Leathal. Devine, stealing from Colt Cabana’s playbook, used his own athlete’s tape to tape Jay to the cage, but Sonjay appeared out of nowhere, to help Jay X-cape! Sonjay cut Jay down, and then Jay threw himself out the door, and tumbled to the floor, before Devine could even climb down from the structure! Jay retains the belt!!

ROH: JAY AND MARK BRISCOE ARE NOW THE 5 TIME ROH TAG TITLE HOLDERS!!! The Briscoe Bros. have won the belts away from Davey Richards and Rocky Romero, and now have a sleu of condeners after them. The Briscoe Bros. are more than happy to welcome any and all challengers, but ROH officials have decided that their match against Alex Shelley and Chris Sabin Saturday in Chicago will be non-title, since it is unknown if The Motor City Machine Guns will be allowed to return to their ROH home anytime soon after Saturday.

Well that’s that for now, I just want to say CONGRATULATIONS SAMOA JOE, JAY, MARK AND LEATHAL ON YOUR TITLE WINS & DEFENCE!!!

As always, stay clean and healthy, and read a good book when you can. Until next time!

The Rasslinkitty

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