Hello everyone! Isn’t it nice to open today’s news with something happy? ^_^

WWE: New Smackdown champ Undertaker is 16-0 after making Edge tap like a baby, but the man who stole the show is none other than ‘Taker’s kid brother Kane, who not only won 2 matches in a row, but ended his 10 year title dry spell by defeating Chavo in 10 seconds!! Kane has officially set a new record, and now joins The Ultimate Warrior as one of the very few to beat a WM competitior in under 30 seconds!! Congratulations Kane!!!! Kane is your NEW ECW champion! YATTA!!!!

CM Punk beat the odds, and the frazzled booking team, by snatching the victory in the Money In The Bank match. Punk outlasted 7 other competitors and about three emergency reshcedulings to obtain a title shot, good for ANY of the 3 main titles for one year. Punk was not the only former ROH star to appear, as Matt Hardy ran in to prevent MVP from stealing any kind of victory at the PPV! CONGRATS PUNK!!

In other news, Shawn Michales ended Ric Flair’s WWE tenure with Sweet Chin Music. Before delivering that final blow, Shawn was quoted as telling Flair “I’m sorry… I Love you”. As Shawn left his boyhood crush behind, himself highly emotional, Ric embraced his family.  Shawn was highly reluctant to face Flair, as Shawn was just recently let back into Canada, after a specific incident invoulving a match with a different icon. Shawn still fears the upcoming fan backlash, over being the man to retire Space Mountain.

OVW standout Beth Phoenix beat Maria in the BunnyMania match, which was inturrupted by the jealous and overbearing Santino Marella. After the bout, an irate Snoop Dogg beat the crud out of Santino, and then went and kissed Maria!! (Wait, isn’t he married?)

JBL beat Finlay in a match that saw chairs, steps and even Finlay in flight. Scary… I hope Finlay will recover soon. Hornswoggle came to his dad’s aid after the match.

Mayweather used a cheap tactic to defeat Big Show. Since the 7′2 crowd pleaser was too much for Floyd, Floyd used brass knuckles to get a knockout win. If this had been an actual match, Show would have sent Floyd’s limp body flying up the ramp. Let’s all hope Big Show was properly compensated for his time, especially since his surprise return was spoiled by Floyd to begin with. Now let’s see the return of a face ‘Show!! (Pretty please??)

Oh yeah, almost forgot. Randy Orton got a cheap shot in to retain the Raw title.

Well, that’s all for the moment. Tune into Raw tonight for the fallout and some of the best stuff. The show after a major PPV for TNA or WWE is usually the best of the month for that brand so check your listings!

As always, stay clean and healthy and read a good book when you can. Until next time!

CONGRATULATIONS UNDERTAKER, KANE AND C.M. PUNK!!!

The Rasslinkitty