一句很古板的话，至今却还是深深影响着现代生活。。感情丰富者总觉得爱情比任何东西来得重要，说什么‘有情饮水饱’，但现实生活能容许这事发生吗？很悲哀的，是少之又少的。。没有人能真的只靠有情饮水饱。。人，需要生存，没有所谓的面包，早已经不再人世了，不是吗？看过了好多事情，知道只有爱情，没有面包是不行的。。但，在抉择的那一刻，你能毅然潇洒，撇下爱情，随面包而去吗？你在爱情身上获得了心灵上的满足，却在面包身上拥有无止境的物质享受，残酷的事实，你又能怎样？你心想，“我就不能同时拥有两个吗？”抬头一望，身边的人都在‘积极’给与他们‘最宝贵’的意见，有人希望你跟随你心里的感情，别成为金钱的奴隶；有人却希望你醒一醒，望望这世界，钱虽然不是万能的，可是没有钱可就万万不能了！人啊，没钱烦，有钱也烦！到底有没有两全其美的解决法案？那就要看你自己的底线在哪里了。。

     I was excited about that as is my first time to work for this huge event. The paid was actually not so high, RM50/hour. We need to reach at 6pm yet the paid start count from 9pm-3am only.. >_< My job scope is to stand at the registration lane 1 to check the passbook and ic of the visitors. Besides that, i need to write down whether they are smoker or nonsmoker,if is, must ask them show their cigarette pack to let me jot down. We standby at 8pm but the visitiors came around 8.30pm so we were forced to start work instead of wait until 9pm.

     There were damn lot of people! I was sweating all the while and kept writing. When there were less people, is already 11pm! It was my very first time that my foot were pain and i wore sport shoes! Can you imagine how tough it is?

     People got lesser around 1am something. Actually we were quite free. But that was a sudden electric trip and we all asked to changed to the Sales Assistant(SA) clothes to sell cigarette! Damn! I never sell before and is about finish work! Why want us to change clothes for only an hour?! So me and my friend were partner. We walked around the indoor stadium. Suddenly got a guy said he want to buy cigarette. But he was fucking annoying! He wanted us to hang out with him after he buy the cigarette. He offered me RM100 and i can do whatever i like with that $$. But i rejected. He constantly offered me with RM200, RM300, RM500 and finally RM1000. But still, i rejected! What the fuck! He thought who am i? I do not want his fucking stupid money!! I am just doing sales for my company, not a prostitute! I was really surprise when i told my friend about this, she told me i can use that stupid chance to ask the guy buy more and i can give him 2 digit of my mobile no.! #*&%^$! NO COMMENT!

     Before i left, that stupid fellow still simply touch my shoulder!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!! Argh!!!!!!!!! I need to wash myself with a dozen of Dettol!! 

     I really saw a lot of things during that job. Firstly, i notice that 85% are all Malays & Indian. They all wore damn sexy, some even wore a bikini only! My friend ask me doesn’t they dosa(guilty in front of their God)? I told her, if they didn’t expose themself or naked only they dosa!! Is so terrible! Secondly, I saw girls who took some drugs and start to get high and steam. They all acted so ugly and cannot even walk properly, some even fall on the floor. Thirdly, which is the stupid guy harassment!!! I really cannot stand it! I wonder how my friend can stand it and still can pretend nothing happen. Is it because I am over sensitive or should i said we got a different principle? I mean my job is just to sell the cigarette, not sell my body right? Fourthly, the management kept asked us go approach and sell! Do properly! But do they really care what happen to us? We can only quietly let people take advantages of us.. What the @$%^&*@#$!!!!

     Anyway, is a new experience to me.  Finally i know what is happening inside a Rave Party..Is not so fun as we thought..

     It’s been a few tired days… Been quarrel with U everyday… I am tired of getting this… I really do precise u so much! Can’t u feel that? I tried my very best to let U feel I am responsible, I am trustworthy and i try not to make u worry. Therefore, i let U know everything that happen around me, i tell u everything. But when comes to job, U just won’t understand me. I am big enough to know what is good and what is bad. I know what job i shouldn’t accept and which is safe to accept. Everytime when i get to offer a job, I need to think for so long about how to tell U, if i tell U, i worry that u will angry. My friends told me to accept and after work only tell u. But i refuse, because i know U will get more angry if i do so. I thought if I tell u everything, U will trust in me & believe that i am able to discriminate between good & bad. But everytime u kind of disappoint me. I need to argue with U, then explain to U, comfort U to make u understand me. I am very tired to explain to U about the same thing everytime. I really do hope this is the last time. I really do not want it to happen again. This is not because i do not love U anymore, is because I really do love U a lot, I do not want this matter to affect our relationship. Let’s give our best in making it better, ok? Love U much….

     Hi! I am back! It is been quite a time I didn’t blog.. actually I do have many many things to let it out from my chest…

     I was rushing for my assignments and had my mid-term too.. It was horrible as on the mid-term week, I need to pass up 4 assignments, which make me exhausted. I was quite afraid as I do not have any Biologic background but most of my coursemates do.. I was struggle so much to make myself understand the context and remember the definition.. On the exam day, I feel dying as the first question I already don’t know how to answer.. What can I do? Just shooting lo! Haiz.. Sad…

     Anyway, happy things will happen after sad thing right? I was told by the Sanrio corner promoter there will be a Hello Kitty Lucky Draw launching at Parkson Pavilion.  So, i take my word as i promise i’ll go there, and i went!! ha-ha! U need to buy a voucher to lucky draw. So, i had bought 4! I did times of lucky draw, a pair of devil kitty glasses, an angel kitty fan and 2 devil kitty totes. The next time i went i did 2 times. But this time no luck lo! Got 2 pairs of devil kitty healthy slippers.. Haiyer…

     My mid-term result finally come out!! Guess what? I passed!! I got B+! But i do felt sad as my friends almost all got A’s…. I need 3 marks more to get an A-!!! I hate myself for not work hard enough! Or olse i can get an A’s too! Well, no use i said it now! I must work hard for my final exam!! If i can get good result, i will reward myself something i desire for so long!! So ganbatte!!!

     Again, like i said, happy things ends, and now bad things come again.. Shit.. I was quarrel wit my mom..She just cannot understand what I am trying to tell her! She just cannot stand in my point of view to feel what i feel! I think we really less communication between not only me and my mom, but whole family! What can i do? Since young we don’t really close to each other like others family. They will have a chat when dinner time, they got family day to hang out together. But we seldom have dinner together, all seperate time eat. So we got no chance to do so call ‘chatting’. If now, u all really wanna talk to me or trying to be close wit me, I’ll feel scare. I already used to this lifestyle, i know people always said is never too late to change. But i cant accept this just a blink of eye. i may need time. Until now, my mom not really wanna talk to me. When she see me, she went back to her room. She just does not want to see my face. but still she called me when i didn’t go home at the moment of 4.30 am. So, i think she still care for me. Anyway, i did try to talk a bit to her now. Haiz…

     Forget about that, i got too many assignments, project and exams to face, i got no time for that. So i do not want to bother this first. I went to House of Joy for my Active Citizenship Project. It was a great experience for me. When u organizing a project, and it successful, u feel satisfaction. Thiswas my project, i am the leader. I do feel worry and nervous that i might end up in nothing or bad result. But luckily, everything went smooth than i expected!! Thanks God! I am glad that all the girls felt happy and enjoyable.

     So now, i feel relieve a bit to let out all my complaints and happiness.. Ha-ha! Now i wanna work hard again! Bye guys~~