你终于传简讯来了，看到你的名，心里很开心。。可是，信息一打开，竟然是你决定退出的消息。。眼泪一瞬间滑落，一发不可收。。

我不懂，为什么会变成这样？明明还好好的，之前打死不放弃，现在却轻易退出。。

我想，是我伤害了你，让你没有勇气再坚持下去。。

也好，长痛不如短痛，你一定可以找到属于你的幸福的。。

我只能说，希望下次遇到你是对的时机。。

我会把你放在心底的最深处。。你要好好地。。

是我把你骂走的吧。。

在人前，我都表现得很没事；

在人后，我却哭成泪人。。

你不会知道，因为这样是最好的结局。。总要有一个人难受，我不想你是难受的，所以就这样吧！

请原谅我28/02/2010的恶言相对。。

希望你是幸福的。。

还是想你的胆小鬼

两天了。。我们互不理睬。。没有一个信息，一通电话。。

我想，你真的生气了。

没关系，这样我就可以一心一意不是吗？

可是，发现我跟他开始没话题了。。其实没话题一段时间了，只是我总不想面对，像你说的，我在骗自己。。

我只是不甘心放手，我努力维持的感情，我不想毁于一旦。。

我尝试啊！我试着让我们的感情回到从前，可是只有我一个人在努力，他并不觉得有任何不妥，他只认为是我无理取闹。。

我只能说，我累了。。真的累了。。想找一个依靠，可是我找不到。。。

你，会是我最后的依靠吗？

我现在才领悟到，当你爱一个人越深，你就会变得越来越不像自己。

你给我的感觉太强悍了，我从没想过你也会这样。。原来你真的很爱我。。

你竟然会吃醋，还发这么大的脾气。。可是，我发现我不能忍受你发脾气的理由。。所以把你骂了一顿。。

也许，我们并不适合。。。

也许，时机不对。。。

也许，我们应该顺其自然。。。

想通了，不像再去勉强些什么。。。

有缘，我们还是会在那原点碰面的。。

就这样，我们结束了。。

你说，真心祝福我和他。。

那一刻，我的矜持崩溃了。。

我哭了。。

我真的很心痛。。

说好的决不放弃呢？

对，是我自私。。

自私的失去理智，自私的胡言乱语，自私的奢望你不要离开我。。

自私的明知道自己不会和他分手，还是想要占据你。。

现在的我，该怎么办？

重读你写的信息，眼泪不以为然地滑落。。

这次，我要多久时间才能平静？

真的哭过就好了？

是我不好。。

如果没有再遇见，我们不就好端端的吗？

现在的你，却因为我，而感到无能。。我认识的你，从来不低头认输，可是这次你却受伤了。。。

我说，算了吧！你说，有挫折的爱情才珍贵。。

我说，我不值得你这样。你说， 这次换你来付出。。

我多希望我有那份勇气。。 告诉你，其实你最珍贵。。。

又再一次地被你打动。。你总是有很强的说服力，让我不由自主地想跟着你的脚步。。

我想你了。。好想你。。。情不自禁的。。坠入你设的情网。。

可笑的是，你说我才是上天派来让你改变的。。

属于你的胆小鬼

有些事，明知是错的，也要去坚持，因为不甘心；

有些人，明知是爱的，也要去放弃，因为没有结局；

有时候，明知没路了，却还在前进，因为习惯了.

                                                                                                                 (毛毛，2010)

这一步，太大了，我不懂自己有勇气跨出去吗。。。

我知道我的感觉是实在的，但我不肯定你的是不是。。。

很多的共同点，是巧合，还是我们有缘的证明？

这么多年了，我们的关系就是剪不断，理还乱，你我都知道。。

你说你不想再浪费时间，你说你想好好珍惜我，我都放在心里，就是不敢接受。。

我承认自己是胆小的，我怕做错决定，我怕失去原有的，我怕一切回不到过去，我怕我们之间只是错觉。。。

对我而言，你是特别的，从来没变过。

我 | 只 | 是 | 胆 | 小 | 鬼

It’s been a long time i had my most wonderful Chinese New Year, and this year, yeah, i did! Thank YOU!

Lunar New Year

This year, we decided to have our reunion dinner at home, rather than eating outside.  So the cook will be my father and grandfather.

1st day of CNY

My hometown is in Muar, Johor.My great-grandfather is living there, so i have to go back every Chinese New Year. Besides that, i also love to go back and visit my friends! The joyful task!

 Morning look of the day:

On the way back to Muar, we stopped at a food stall halfway of the highway. And these were what i could eat:

Seriously, it was awful!!!!!!!!!! Yucks!

The moment we reached Muar, we checked in to our home-stay room.Then straight away headed to restaurant for lunch! Sooooo hungry!

 Night look of the day:

 It was Valentine’s day, but i was celebrating with my friends by singing love songs! Ha-ha! But the sad news was, my boyfriend forgot it was Valentine’s day!

2nd day of CNY

Morning look of the day:

Today we went to great-grandpa’s old house to pray for my great-grandma. Then we went to my relatives’ houses to visit. It was so hot that i can felt i was melting!

Night look of the day:

 At night, we went to Bentayan to have our dinner. After dinner, we went to my grandma’s god-daughter’s house. Then i went to Nicole’s house and had a long conversation with her. Glad that she found her ♥ one!

3rd day of CNY

Morning look of the day:

 I was expecting for this day, as i organized a primary school mates gathering after 10 years of apart! I really looking forward to it!

It was great to met those who turned up on that day. Everybody has their life, their stories to share, we talked non stop and we just hope the time would stop for us to continue our unfinished stories! Guys, i will held up another gathering ASAP!!

These were what i had:

 After meal, we went to visit our primary discipline teacher, Mr.Chua. He was really happy to see us and tried to recognized us one by one. Ha-ha!

And today i met you. You said I looked like the Statue of Liberty. And i said you are so slim now, too skinny. And our conversation started… ♥

4th day of CNY

Morning look of the day:

 I was driving to your house with your ‘wifey’. I swear i was really careful and i was late because of bad traffic.

See? i got proof…

Night look of the day:

Tonight i have a gathering with Mr.Chua. We were intended to have tea together but then our primary monitor, Chee Haw said his house got open house and invited us go his house. And so, we went!

 These biscuits were given by Wei Chang, which he brought back from Taiwan. Is yummy!

Finally, we took group photos!

It was a great gathering! I really love to be with them! All memories just flashed back and i can’t resist the joys!

5th day of CNY

Morning look of the day:

Today was the last day me in Muar, gonna back to KL soon. I can’t bear to leave my friends, and YOU. You know i miss the times being with you, short but precise. Struggling but sweet. I know i am just paradox, yeah, i am. And you know too.  You are just know me too much. Too much that i think you know me more than myself do. I miss you.  I do. ♥