It’s time to change and start a new life… a new story…
This girl kept living her life the way she wanted… what about me? do you want to know my story?

and he kept looking for her, visiting her, kissing her, and she started to feel that life was on her side again… despite it all, despite both of them have someone else in their lives
“I want to continue in this little affair… I want to ’cause I love you, I honestly and deeply love you, I hope you do too… it is great! for the first time in a very long time I feel happy again, truly happy, you kiss so good, you hug so warm, you are just great to me, and I know is really hard for me to trust this, to trust in everything, you just need to be a little more patiente, ’cause I promise, things will be better… is just that they are a little bit complicated right now, so just give me some time… you know we both have the same situation, and I guess it just a matter of time to completely solve things. Just keep giving me those moments, those kisses, those instants, and time and patience will solve the rest, I promise.”

Thursday
Is it real? did I dream it? oh my God… I cannot believe what happened today, we were so busy doing things regarding our pending work that I didn’t expect that… you kissed me! you kissed me so passionate, and I kissed you back the same, I wanted it for so long… I feel my stomach filled with butterflies just remembering that moment we had… it was amazing, it was great, it was incredible, I just don’t even know what to say, except… I feel so happy, you made my day the best day I’ve had in so long, my God, you just have no idea how much I loved that moment, how much I felt it was great, and now, I can’t stop thinking about it, a moment that you stole from me and I’m so happy you did… I still cannot believe it… I really love your voice, you telling me how much you like me, those words comming so perfectly from your mouth, those kisses so incredibly romantic, everything, the moment, the details, the way you hugged me, everything was perfect, everything in that moment, too bad we didn’t have enough time, but you promised me more time, life, kisses, everything, you promised everything… and is hard for me to believe it, but I will, I promise I will… is just that too much happiness, and too much for me seems surreal… and I want to believe you, I do, but just be patiente

Monday
My dear, I just cannot get over you, time has passed by and now I think my heart feels a love more stronger than it should, but you’re showing me the same to me… is it real? I’m scared of what it might happen, I really feel something for you, I really and honestely feel something bigger for you, and I know I shouldn’t… I’m bored of repeting that to myself just to get over you. The way you are with me, the way you look at me, is it real? or is it my imagination…
Tuesday
Now I’m more scared than ever… you went looking for me, you came close to me just to say goodbye, you hugged me just to say goodbye… at the end, you gave a little kiss… oh my God! I still cannot believe it, you kissed me! you actually kissed me! I still feel tickles all over my body just remembering that you gave me a small kiss, but still a kiss, you told me that you like me, you know already I do, today, you finally told me you do, I feel so happy… I wont see you tomorrow thou, but I cannot wait until thursday so we can finally talk about this… I really like you… I hope you’re not just playing with me

She still has to see him pretty much daily, she still has pain in her heart and she must learn to control herself, she actually has learn a lot these days that passed by… she had to:
“I still love you… I cannot deny that I do, but I have become stronger and I’m learning to live with this… I cannot tell my heart what to feel, I just feel it, and if you do I guess I’ll never know, at least I told you and I got it out of my system… anyway, I guess theres is nothing to do now but to wait until time has done it’s job with me…”

I wish I didn’t love you at all, but is just that whenever I see you and I find in my way your green eyes, all I can think of is the million reasons to love you, and not even a single one reason not to, not even a single moment to remember how much I’m supposed to get over you, I cannot deal with this anymore, and I can’t because I don’t know how you feel, what you think… and I really need to know it, I guess I deserve an answer… no, I do deserve an answer, I’ve being honest from the very first day with you, but you’ve lied to me several times, that is no good way to start a relationship, I think… maybe is not meant to be, I’m pretty sure is not, now I just have to get over you, wich will be hard, just by seeing you it makes it hard for me… I wish I didn’t have to look at you anymore, it’ll make things easier for me, and I deserve that… I love your voice and I have to hear it almost everyday, I love your eyes and now I hate looking at them, I really wish I didn’t meet you

I just don’t understand how you manage to give me a reason to smile everyday, yesterday when you left I was so mad at you, for no reason at all, but later on we talked again and for no reason at all you started to be sweet again, trying to have another one of our conversations again, and time flew by again, you apologized for a silly little thing that happened, and just by letting me get to know you better I realize that you are a greater person than I thought, and everyday we talk you amaze me with something else, you keep giving me reasons to love you more, I hate that, it’ll make harder for me to get over you, to let you in the past as someone who came in too late, too late to start a “us”, a life and a future together, too late for life and love, too late for everything, and now I’ll learn to live with that…

I hate and I love looking at your eyes. I hate it because it makes harder for me to get over you, and I want to get over you, I need to do it, my heart is in a horrible pain and I keep thinking about you, day and night, I keep dreaming about you and what it could happen, I keep seeing you a few days of the week and I feel pain and happiness, because I know I’ll never be with you, and we both know we want to, but circumstances are against us, maybe some other life, maybe some other dreams, maybe we will get over this one day, but I’m sure it wont go away completely, I’ll still feel this love for you, it’s just I’ll learn to live with it, ignore it and pretend my life is ok, maybe pretend my life is great, that’s what I have to do from now on.
I love looking at your eyes because they are the crystal green eyes I dreamt my whole life, the eyes that tells me just by looking at me how you feel, what you think without having to say anything at all, when you have doubts, when you are happy, when you just want to look at me, when you call my name just to say it and not to say something important, but that is something really important for me, hearing you call my name, hearing your sweet voice saying my name, and look at you and find your green eyes looking at me and telling me how much you just wanted to see me, and it feels great, I feel so lucky for a few seconds, and then it hits me back… I’m not with you, I’ll never be with you, and I really wanna be with you, and I feel bad again, I feel sad and depressed, and start wishing I never met you at all, because it hurts too much, it hurts to love you and not being able to show it to you… sometimes I just wanna run away, and leave all this behind me.

She cannot eat, she cannot think, she cannot even realize how something like that can happen in real life… I mean, you hear these stories every day but this time was for real… today she was ready to finally let her feelings out, tell him that she was in love with him, so they were talking as those last few days they used to talk, and a friend came along to the conversation, letting her know that he had someone else… she couldn’t even believe it, she wanted to cry, she was at the moment surprised and so sad, she wasn’t ready for something like that, and she was so down for it… but always strong, pretending that nothing happened, this is what she wrote that night:My dear, you gave me for the past month a reason to smile every single day, to wake up every morning, a reason to live for in this awful life, a reason to think that something different was there for me… and I was honest with you ever since I met you, I told you that I needed to take a little time, that I had someone in my life and that I was willing to start a new life with you, I told you everything, you didn’t say anything, and you ended up hurting me, why did you do that!? I feel so bad right now, so bad, so upset and sad at the same time, I can’t even cry and you… all you can say is that I look ok, I have to, I have to pretend, and I have to live with it, I don’t want to anymore, I just want to cry… and I can’t even do that, I built a strong wall that is not allowing me to cry, and I feel like all of that is locked up inside my poor little heart… I love you so much! finally today I was ready to let you know… I just hope she makes you happy, the way you deserve, now, all I can tell you sweetie, you can be sure that my heart loves you, and I will live with it, anyway… it’s my heart, not yours, you should only care about her, don’t even worry about me

I just cannot believe how stupid I can be, I’m always there, no matter what you say I’m always there, no matter what you do I’m always there… because of those feelings that keep growing and I can’t control… I keep on fighting for something that looks worthy, I’m falling in love with you… or am I already? I’m not quite sure right now if I just don’t want to accept it or I’m still falling for you, I just don’t know… all I need right now is to know what you feel, and since you’re not brave enought to tell me I cannot make a decition, that is what I need, for you to tell me how you feel…

She was really depressed for all of that, those teenage ilussions grew a lot more than she could have ever imagined, she was already in love, and the only witness of her love was her diary, and the night she told him that she was having feelings for him, feelings that he wasn’t capable to demonstrate, but even though she was depressed over that she thought things still had hope, so she was going to fight over it, she felt like that situation was worthy to fight for, she was really in love, and she wanted the whole worl to congratulate her…