Lately, I’ve been setting up and going to doctor’s appointments.
This is pretty hard for me, since I’m not too used to going to doctor’s appointments!
I’d been to them, but I hadn’t been checked up on in a while…
And it’s been a long time since I’ve gotten a bloodtest.
Aaaaah…
Going yesterday was hard… I was nervous and shaking in the seat the whole time in the waiting room. Fortunately they said everything was normal, it was a hard appointment to go to but they issued me a bloodtest…
I woke up pretty early this morning, considering I stayed up late last night…
Nate woke me up and helped me get straight out the door.
And…
I went…
I chickened out…
I actually have a really, really big fear of needles. ![[sad]](http://www.hello-online.org/hello/images/articles/article200902162041055389.gif)
I wish I didn’t…
Nate was supporting me a lot. I’m glad he went. I have to go again, but I’m not sure I can go without him… I’m so scared.
Even in hard times, I’ve never been so scared in my life. Adrenaline, maybe?
I guess that’s the animalistic reaction to fear.
I couldn’t let me arm go out straight, I couldn’t pull away!
I wanted to.
I just couldn’t get myself to!! ![[nervous]](http://s727.photobucket.com/albums/ww277/mintpeace/th_nervous.gif)
Now I’m disappointed and have no one but myself to blame…
I need to go again, I need to get it done.
It’s important to my health.
Nate said he’d go again with me, if I promise I won’t pull away…
I can’t promise.
I genuinely did want to get the bloodtest earlier and get it over with so I could get my results back, but I still ended up pulling away…
My heart was beating so fast and I felt so dizzy.
I don’t know what to do so I don’t do that again…
I can’t promise.
I hope I can do it, soon… Before this week ends.
I need to be strong and do this.
So maybe soon, I can promise, get this done…
I feel really defeated.
When I do go next, though, I definitely will get it done.
I can’t cower out again. I don’t want to disappoint myself, or Natey…![[heart]](http://s727.photobucket.com/albums/ww277/mintpeace/th_heart2.gif)
Sigh… ![[sad]](http://www.hello-online.org/hello/images/articles/article200902162041055389.gif)