Many events happened one by one this year. I have gone through many things so far. When will the bad fortune stop? I got through down, up, and down. When will the next “up” come to me? Have I grown up through those experiences. Society is so complicated. It’s far from what I expected. I think it’s the time I change myself. To become apathetic, fake and cold-blooded. True smile may go away from my face since now. I would hide happinesses in my deep heart. I would hide innocence every moment. I don’t want to do so but I must do it. It’s not my own free will but society push me to do so. I don’t know whether I’m on the right way or not. I just don’t allow the same thing to happen again. I don’t know why HK people is like that. Maybe the majority in the world behave in the same way. Life like that is meaningless. But, what can I do? What I can to is to model the majority. Otherwise, I will be the one at a disadvantage. These are what I learned in this year. Don’t scold at me, what I do is what you lead.

In the past, when parents tell me not to give out my true heart to others, including friends, I was objected to this thinking. As I believe that giving the true heart is the only way to meet good friends. Now, I still have this belief in my mind but I won’t apply it in an easy way.

Such an awkward life! No wonder many globemates say that life is awkward and unpleasant. Have you ever thought that it’s your problem? I become the problem right now. You may argue that I pass the buck to society. But what I experienced lead me to do so. I have to protect myself. And everyone has to protect himself/herself. Let’s continue our awkward life.

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