Ok, it turned out that he likes a girl… a girl who is WAY prettier than me. I found out today. When she told me, I was broken. I was speechless. I tried not to show my sorrow and anger but it felt like someone dug their hand deep into my chest and ripped my heart out. I don’t think she noticed though-that is good. I was so depressed for a while, and I became angry. I also became suicidal. But what was I thinking? Him liking me? Puh-lease. I am not beautiful, but she is. I wanted to cry though. I wanted to cry till I passed out from the painful headache that I get usually get after 15 minutes of sobbing. I couldn’t concentrate on my classes after that, and lunch was a drag. How could he lead me on like that? Be so nice to me and what not, then BAM! He was going to ask her out. If I could, I would have just curled up into a ball onto the floor and died. I didn’t really want to cause a scene though, so I tried to pass it off. It was hard to do, but then I realised I kinda got over him. Maybe he was just a silly crush… one that lasted about a year and a half. I guess I interpreted all the clues wrong though. Maybe instead he wanted to be my friend? Why though? We have totally different views on… everything. There isn’t much that we don’t disagree on. Ugh… how could I be such a fool? -_-” And now I question myself; what did I see in him? What was it that just made me fall in love? In love with a complete dork. A boy who tries so hard to fit in with a crowd of people that really don’t suit him. I mean come on! He wears girl pants now. I know you shouldn’t bash on peoples’ styles and looks but… please… And he wears a belt yet his pants are still below his bottom! A lot of boys at school are like that… its absurd. And his hair… well, he cut it but it looked ok. His build is ok… Oh who am I kiddin’? He is good looking, but that shouldn’t be the reason for love! It should be his personality! Though he can be nice and all, he can be a complete jerk! One time he left me at school! I had to stay there till 4:30! >:0 I was furious! And sometimes he kinda makes fun of my look- weight, hair, etc. Sometimes I just want to -enter macabre action here-. So obviously it wasn’t his personality… or it could have been, my mind just doesn’t want me to really think that. That probably did not make much sense, but it did to me… One day I will be pretty though. And if he were to come to me then, I will probably reject him. It would make my thoughts of him even lower. It basically would be saying that I had to lose all this weight just to get his attention. It shouldn’t be my looks; it should be my personality, my outlook on life. I would feel… I don’t know how to describe it really, but it has nothing to do with good. Plus I have a feeling that the girl will reject him too if he actually asks her; she likes some other guy. He loses, and I win for finally getting over him.