Depend on me.

Weigh me down until my knees burn against the asphalt.

Because no one else will do this.

I will pick you up and lift you

until you reach the brink of where you need to be.

And then I will shove you out into the world

where you will find someone real.

And you will hate me-God, you will.

The pain of being left on your own-

it takes far too long to fade.

But even if you don’t see it, you’re ready.

Because when you come to love me so much,

you will no longer need me there

to hold you back.

Depend on me,

I will teach you how to love.

Where are you in your life when you can’t remember who you were?

The big memories stick with me. The smiles of my friends, every great aspect about them, when they took me out, exhaustion, being wired and everywhere…I remember the big picture. But of everyone and every place that comes to mind, I can’t recall….who was I?

Did I keep to myself and always watch, or did I never shut up? Was I there for them ever? Did I cause them trouble and burden, or did I ease their pains? I can’t remember. A part of me doesn’t want to. Because I remember staying home and always being too tired to go out with them. My mind was so much easier to crawl into than a car taking me away. I was always sleeping, fading away from them. There were a couple who fought it and woke me up, dragging me out into the light with them, but I still wonder, what did they think if me? Who was I to them?

But now, as I remember every face every day, I know, even as I still crawl into bed, that I must have just been air. A breeze brushing past, making their hair fall across their faces. Annoying maybe, perhaps even welcomed, but unanimously, hardly even noticed.

I miss them, and as I waste my life sleeping, I dream of them pulling me out again.

Where are you in your life when you can’t remember who you were?