Change is inevitable.

I thought, when I first went back, that I had been left behind. Conversations between friends that I used to understand were lost to me and everyone seemed to have a solid grip on where they were in life. It was clear that I was the only one uncertain and the only one out of place. I realized that I didn’t belong as I used to, anymore.

But then, when I stepped into the car with Leah-one of my best friends-everything seemed normal again. The both of us are well adapted to not seeing each other for long periods of time, so seeing each other again after so long was more like I had just taken a small vacation. She was my stable breath of familiarity, and I couldn’t have been more grateful.

I had never been to any type of typical teenager party before, but I supposed this one was a good start. I fit in surprisingly well amongst the drunk, goofy guys and held any liquor consumed surprisingly well. It was more like I was just in a really good mood rather than impaired, but I still called it quits after my motor skills melted enough for my drink to spill. But in my defense, my judgement process was crystal clear. Everything I had wanted at the beginning of the night became enboldened-and that included a particularly cute guy who had walked in a good half hour before I reached for any drink.

Now, now, don’t go thinking i’m a slut for going after a guy I hardly knew. My goals were set from the beginning: nothing passed making out. Period. But who can honestly blame me anyway when, for the first time in over two years, I had the chance to make out with a guy? And a good looking guy with a good personality at that? I’m not going to lie either, it was such an amazing feeling to feel wanted again. It’s one thing when your friends tell you that you’re attractive, but it’s another when someone doesn’t even give your gorgeous friend sitting next to you a glance and tells you how pretty you are. I don’t give a flying fuck if he was lying; to have someone hold me and kiss me again, even with no strings attatched, was so freeing it was ridiculous. For one night, I wasn’t ridden with doubts and self-loathing. I was a regular teenager out having fun.

I am so jealous that Leah gets to do that all the time. Though, I don’t know how she deals with the lack of sleep. I think her being the only sober person helps, but we definitely only slept for two hours before we left and went to starbucks. We sat in there for another two hours talking, catching up, and enjoying the morning before grudgingly heading out to drop me off. It was the perfect ending to the weekend, in my opinion.

And as a bonus, I got a new hoodie. The guy liked my jacket and I liked his hoodie, so when he left we decided to just trade. For good memories. XD

I haven’t said this in a while, but life is good.

That is, until I open my eyes tomorrow and go to school, thinking that all of it was just a dream.