I don’t want to live in dying. I don’t want to be an empty shell of mechanical passion.

I want to love.

I wish that was a simpler thing to ask for.

Adventure Week One: Well, Damn.

I was right. I got horribly lost a hundred times and didn’t figure out my way through the school until this afternoon. The sad thing is-i’ll probably forget everything by Monday. I hate life.

On the bright side-yes there is a bright side-I managed to scoop up a few friends this week from my classes.  The first being the boy that followed me home.

Yes, I know. Most people bring home stray puppies or kitties or lizards, but what do I bring home on my first day of school? A boy.

See, Monday and Tuesday I hadn’t received my parking permit yet, so I walked the two miles to my Dad’s house instead of riding the bus. And behold, Monday afternoon, a boy walks up from behind me and asks what i’m reading and follows me home. Out of the way from his own house. Talking to a stranger. Weird, but kind of flattering. He was hitting on me a lot of the time.

Now that I think about it-letting a strange guy that’s hitting on me follow me home wasn’t the brightest idea i’ve ever had. But he was nice, and now we see each other in the hallway every day. It definitely could have been worse.

My second ally is a freshman and currently the one i’m closest to. Her name is C.J. and she’s much more physically fit than I am. I only know this because we’re in P.E. together, and she owned me on the mile run. Not. Fair. I like her though. She’s hyper, talks to me, and gives me a place to sit at lunch (because I finally got kicked out of my hiding spot and was forced to eat in the cafeteria). I don’t really need much more than that.

The last I made today. I forget her real name, but she goes by Chisuki. She likes anime and knows who Miyavi is and thinks i’m cool. That’s a win relationship right there.

Yep, there is a small bright side, but i’m still not very comfortable there. For instance, my Economics teacher has a short fuse. If anyone says a single word when they aren’t supposed to, she goes on a tangent about sending students to the office for being disobedient. She likes me though. I’m the nice, quiet, shy girl who does all of her work. Sounds like me, right?

Erm, no.

During that particular class today, I realized just how shy I was being and how scared i’ve been all week. Without my friends here, I have no one to encourage me, no one to talk to, no one to depend on. And I thought that maybe I was supposed to learn something from all of this-a lesson.

I need to learn how to survive on my own.