I find myself waning again. These thoughts tire me. It’s like i’m running constantly even though my body isn’t moving. But I can’t pass out from this exhaustion. There is no heat to make me sweat and no muscles to collapse. It’s just the air around me and the thoughts passing through.

So what’s on my mind?

Three words. I’m dying to say them. To her. And i’m acting like such a child. Why can’t I say it?

I love you
I miss you

It’s not so hard-especially to a best friend. But I haven’t seen her in so long…and i’ve only said it a few times before. By now she has someone to really love and other friends who are by her every day. I guess the problem is i’m second guessing myself.

I want to say those things, but I don’t want to hear silence in return.
Like I used to.
But than again, I never used to care so much for her either.
Before, she was just another friend who I wanted to be close to, but couldn’t.
Now i’ve been drawn in further than a lot of people ever will get. And it’s likewise.
Now we’re sisters.
So can I be blamed for being a afraid that my sister doesn’t love me anymore?

Heh, fear isn’t very becoming is it?

So Jordan…I love you and I miss you. I hope you’re okay and that D is taking care of you. Even though I don’t say it, I worry and i’m glad he’s there. Someone has to take care of my sister while i’m away, right? I’m always a text away if you need me.

~A~