Okasaneko
(http://blog.hellokitty.com/okasaneko)
A Tubby Tabby, Three Konekos, and a Life with Hello Kitty and Autism

Physics Of Life

I hope my son does not read this post (Pshew! He’s still preoccupied with his school projects, thank God!) as I do not condone or encourage truancy. But last week, well, last week was different. Alphonse was downed  by a severe sytemic viral illness that had us worried sick, and a few days later, perhaps from all that worrying, I followed suit. I would’ve taken pictures of the rashes in my face had I been imbued with a little more energy those days. And while I certainly tried to keep up with my household duties despite the fever, joint pains, headaches, and rashes, for the most part, I let my body recover, languishing in the warm feelings of playing hookey for a whole week.

A whole week. That to me was a slice of heaven.

Now that I am all better, I feel like inertia has set upon me. Newton’s First law of Motion tells us that “a body at rest will stay at rest unless an outside force acts on it,” and truth to tell, I still wait for that outside force to lift me from the doldrums. I scan the horizon of my life and don’t seen anything remotely coming. And so I wait.

Tonight, however, I have to rouse myself from my stuporous half-life and walk out the door and be a real human being for a change. Tonight, my Alphonse will be left in excellent care while A and I indulge in family time with just Alex. This boy needs it, I can feel it. And despite the resistance my body feels, despite the wishy-washy half-sentiments about the whole thing, I need to force down the rising tide of panic I feel and be there for him and for A.  

Time to wake up, girl. You are your own external force.