Okasaneko
(http://blog.hellokitty.com/okasaneko)
A Tubby Tabby, Three Konekos, and a Life with Hello Kitty and Autism

Affirmation of Parenting

You are a good parent

These days, the pressure to “perform” as a parent of any child can be overwhelming. Imagine this same pressure heaped upon parents of autistic individuals and magnified much more. Parenting has never been as hard and as complicated as we know today.

Throughout the unsettled questions and controversies raging in the autism community, it’s hard not to be swept away by the arguments on either side. Some say “do this,” others say “don’t.” It’s enough for any sane parent to start questioning his/her abilities to mother or father their own child.

I don’t understand the divide in this same community we all exist in. To insist on one prescribed way for a condition that has never been known to come from one single cause is irrational. No one thing has ever been found to cause autism, as there has never been one single prescibed regimen to “cure” it. So go ahead, do the diet if you want. Give supplements or not. Pick TEACCH or ABA. Try RDI or Floortime. Whatever it is you choose, do it for the right reason- the desire to help your child gain his foothold in the world, and not because you want him to fit in in a ”normal” and “autism-free” world. 

I take inspiration from very special mothers of very special individuals. Go read them at Susan Senator and Mother of Shrek. You’ll find humor and warmth, love and acceptance, openness and tolerance, in the pages of their weblogs. When I need to remind myself of the kind of parent I want to be, I simply hop on to these pages and envision myself as the embodiment of all their good virtues.

I am a good parent. You are a good parent. Don’t let others tell you otherwise.