This is my response to Teacher Julie’s tag on Seven Things About Me.  

1.  As a child, I was enamored with the idea of being a physician in service of others.  As an adult, I chose life as a 24/7 stay-at-home mom, a full time Inang Yaya, if you please (mommy and nanny in an all-in-one! new-and-improved! convenient packaging) in service of a much smaller community of men: my family. No regrets there.

2. Writing has always been a lifelong passion but I stumbled into it as a serious vocation only when BusinessWorld (yes, the business paper, where a newspaper is a public trust) launched its first ezine called Outpost. I’ve been writing in ezines since 1998; I received the privilege of writing for the arts and leisure pages of BW in 2005.

3.  I became a teacher when special schools in the city turned down my son. With nowhere to go and no hope in sight, I assumed the role of teacher/motivator/advocate for my son with autism. Today, we have a homeschooling program run by professionals, but I still teach my son. These are the moments I look forward to in a day.

4.   Growing up, my best friends were always boys. I went to Maryknoll (now Miriam College) for grade school, and aside from the only girl who befriended me there, my best friend was a boy from neighboring Ateneo de Manila. Even when I left Maryknoll to attend a different high school (where Megamom was my classmate), he remained my best friend for many years. 

Sadly, he passed away in a tragic car accident in 1984, a few months short of high school graduation. He would have graduated valedictorian of Ateneo High School Batch 1985. Sigh. I miss him still.

5.  My best-est friend in high school was also a boy. I married him. Given another chance at life, I’d still marry him. In a heartbeat.

6.    Now that Megamom has opened that sticky can of worms codenamed The Abominable Snowman, it is safe to disclose that Megamom and I were “involved” with the same boy in high school (not A). Una siya, me next, then back to her, then to me. (Loose translation: First it was her, then it was my turn, then he went back to her, and then back to me.) He was obviously a very confused soul. 

Those were probably some of the most foolish years of my life. (Remind me to share a story I wrote called “Surviving Mr. Wrong.”) Still, I don’t regret any of those stupid, stupid years. Allow me to quote Barbra Streisand’s song “On My Way To You” as I think of those years in this perspective,

“If I had changed a single day/what went amiss or went astray/ I may have never found my way to you/I would not change a thing  that happened/on my way to you.”

I found my way to A, alright.

7. I have had weight issues since I was a little girl. I was lightest at birth (I weighed as much as three apples, oops, my mistake, that’s hello kitty’s weight! I was 7.3 lbs when I came beaming into this world.) and apparently, I have not looked back since. I was heaviest when I was pregnant with Alphonse (seven months of complete bed rest + unrestrained eating = Jabba the Hutt) when I tipped the scales at over 250 lbs. (I can’t tell you exactly how much because I couldn’t see the scale anymore.) Now my weight hovers somewhere between the two. Don’t guess. Hehe. It’s all in the face, dahling.

Current weight: JUST RIGHT

8.   I started blogging as therapy after Alphonse’s last major meltdown. This keeps me sane.

I went beyond the prescribed seven, Teacher Julie; I hope you don’t mind. I would’ve added more but let me whet your tastebuds for more “indecent” revelations (don’t I wish my life was that colorful!) of an otherwise zany, crazy, joyful life. Thanks for tagging me!

 No surprises here.

You Are a Bright Christmas Tree

For you, the holidays are all about fun and seasonal favorites. You are into all things Christmas, even if they’re a little tacky.

What Christmas Tree Are You?

My mom would definitely agree on the tacky part.

My response to Teacher Julie’s tag will come out in the next few days. I am currently Santa-mommy in the house, which means I have to do the following things before I can unwind and blog again:

1. Finish the tree and take pictures. (This year: Hello Kitty theme with handmade bling-blings!)

2. Change the living room curtains in anticipation of Christmas guests. (*dread*)

3. Get back to serious work and finish my reviews. (I have been playing hooky again! Boohoo!)

4. Wrap gifts. (Not enough yet.)

5. Shop for more gifts. (I no longer like this part.)

6. Give myself a Guitar Hero hour (or hours)!

I got this as Christmas present number ahm, uhm, ehrm–really, who’s counting?– last night! Hooray! 

Update: I had to change the picture because the giftgiver (A the husband) insisted that I show the correct one (or else my journalistic integrity would be at stake). What I got was the Wii bundle (purchase from Datablitz).

�

This is for Megamom’s tag :To cane or not to cane?

“My son is severely autistic. I mince no words and tell people that up front. In the wide spectrum called Pervasive Developmental Disorder, my son is at the tail end of the most severely affected and severely limited group. Even now, eight and a half years after diagnosis, my son is, in many ways, still at the far end of the bell curve of normal — a little child trapped in his own world and in his own body. The label, however, is only that: a label. For despite his many disabilities, Alphonse is everything beautiful and hopeful and wondrous in this world.

“My son was violent for close to five years. For a little child no more than 50 pounds in weight, Alphonse had uncontrollable strength that could inflict a most terrible physical pain. He pulled my hair daily for almost three years, no matter how short I wore it. Clumps of hair wrenched violently from my scalp left me bruised for many months after. Many times, too, while he held me down by my hair, he would kick me repeatedly in the chest and abdomen. And when he clamped his little jaws firmly and solidly on my flesh, he tore away more than just flesh; he ripped open my heart.

“Today, I can look back at those times with renewed hope and wonder if all those moments of anguish were simply part of an extended nightmare. For once, I can even joke and laugh about all the times of pain. I can see with clarity the silver lining in the desperation of those months and years and I am all the more thankful that we lived through those trying times. Autism in our lives has brought us to hell and back again.”  ~ From “Getting Back the Laughter,” HerWord.com, 19 November 2004

My family and I know firsthand the horror of violence in our home. Late last year, just when we thought that we were over it, my son went on a rampage again. Living under the shadow of anger and pain is a nightmare. The lesson we’ve all learned from all those days and weeks and months and years is unanimously clear: violence is always unacceptable.

Long before marriage, my then-boyfriend-soon-to-be-husband and I agreed that corporal punishment would not be our form of discipline for our children. Truth to tell, our personal experiences completely defined our principles in parenting. I was never spanked or hurt as a child even when my more adventurous younger sister Joee or my two rambunctious brothers often got a swat in their behinds for misbehaving. (I was really a sweet pink girl! J) My husband, the eldest of three and the most precocious, was his mother’s favorite bongo drum. Years later, my mother-in-law would often express regret at having spanked her son, even when he turned out perfectly normal and adjusted. “There is no excuse for hitting in anger,” she would often say.

And we agree.  

There are many reasons NOT to beat or slap or swat or spank a child, just as there are many other ways to instill discipline with love. (For our eldest, we use positive reinforcement coupled with a token economy system; our youngest son thrives on positive reinforcement and extinction for more aggressive behaviors.) Ours is made even simpler by the circumstances we live in: having been on the receiving end of Alphonse’s anger, we know how pain feels firsthand. Why would we wish it intentionally on someone we love?

I went online today after five days of self-avowed, tech-free living, only to find that I’ve been tagged twice in my absence. The first is Megamom’s question of corporal punishment; the second is Teacher Julie’s seven things about me. These are my first two tags ever (yehey!) and I am happy and eager to answer them. (They’ll make two separate posts.)

Some questions nag me though.

Am I required to tag other people? I only have two personal friends in BlogWorld; does that mean that I have to tag people I don’t know? And if I have to tag seven people (as in the case of Teacher Julie’s seven things) and I know only two, can I tag them 3-1/2 times each? (Hoho!)

The mysteries of tagging deepen.

I got my pink Nintendo DS Lite last year as an anniversary present. Bundled with the handheld console were games that my husband chose for me, among them Nintendogs and Animal Crossing Wild World. And just like my sleepless nights with my Sony PSP (black at first) a few months before that (I got the pink one for Valentine’s Day this year), the DS Lite became a new and consuming passion.

On Christmas Day last year, my eldest son got his own DS Lite, and soon after, on New Year’s Day, my husband got one for himself too. When summer vacation rolled by, it was time to test the wireless multiplayer ability of the DS Lite. When we were feeling frisky and playful, we played against each other in Mario Kart races that lasted for hours. (Alex always chose Bowser, his parents were always versions of Yoshi in different race karts.) Yet on some nights, as we played quietly together, we would visit each other in the Animal Crossing community I created, Dogtowne. There, I was Kitty, Alex was Alpha, and Papa was, well, the unimaginatively named, hmmm, Papa. We would trade fruits, give gifts, help dig fossils, visit friends, write letters, hit rocks, catch insects, plant trees– name it, we did it in our virtual world. Somehow, I could sense that Alex was happiest on those nights, when in our make-believe world, he was the sole center of our existence if only for a short time.

And this got me thinking last night, while reading through the Happy Blog. I wanted to share with you a story which was featured last month on the Happy Blog, but which was originally from a 2005 entry of a Korean weblog called Loliel the Black Onion Brigade. Here is the comic strip  from the Happy Blog but I’m also including links to the videos from Gametrailers.com and YouTube. Read more »

This afternoon, while I was checking up on Sanriotown’s latest blog news, I was surprised to see my son’s face smiling at me from the Blog of the Week corner. I was a little puzzled, and a tad paranoid (hehe!), wondering what my son’s picture was doing there.  (Obviously, it took a little while for the information to sink in; oh, my, is my old age showing?) When I clicked the link, lo and behold! Okasaneko was chosen as Blog of the Week!

I am happy beyond words.

Allow me to share my response to this unexpected gift:

I was so shocked to see my son’s face on Blog of the Week! And here I was, thinking that since so many younger people (much, much younger!) use Sanriotown as their blog’s platform, they’re likely not to notice at all. But I thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for caring and for helping spread the word about autism. Truly, a life with Hello Kitty and autism is a life filled with many wonderful surprises and moments of celebration!

Once again, thank you for the honor. This is truly a great early Christmas gift!

I hadn’t been feeling well these last few days. I think I must have picked up a bug when I went shopping last Friday. And while I was very happy with my Hello Kitty finds (a new lamp, a pink mousepad, a pink optical mouse, a diecut keychain, an iPod nano skin, some water bottles, a mug, a cube clock , perfume atomizers), I had to wade through a throng of people just to complete my personal shopping list. And I still haven’t finished Christmas shopping!

So this morning, I vowed to take it easy for a while. I sat down, started checking email, and before I knew it, I had spent the better part of my morning reading a thirteen-year-old girl’s blog! I loved Angie’s Blog!  (As you can see, she’s the newest addition to my blogroll. ) Who knew a thirteen-year-old could be so cool on the Net? I have to admit my ignorance when compared to a computer savvy teenager (yes, she is officially a teenager; she started her weblog at age twelve!) but I am really grateful I have the opportunity to see the world through a young woman’s eyes. And if you see some really cool stuff on my pages in the following days, thank Angie– I picked up a lot of new things from her.

My father-in-law sent me this by email today, and I figured, what better way to start a week’s worth of blogging than this? 

Dancing With God   

When I meditated on the word Guidance, I kept seeing “dance” at the end of the word. I remember reading that doing God’s will is a lot like dancing.When two people try to lead, nothing feels right.The movement doesn’t flow with the music, and everything is quite uncomfortable and jerky.  

When one person realizes that, and lets the other lead, both bodies begin to flow with the music.One gives gentle cues, perhaps with a nudge to the back or by pressing lightly in one direction or another.It’s as if two become one body, moving beautifully.The dance takes surrender, willingness, and attentiveness from one person and gentle guidance and skill from the other. 

My eyes drew back to the word Guidance.When I saw “G: I thought of God, followed by “u” and “i”.“God, “u” and “i” dance.”God, you, and I dance. 

As I lowered my head, I became willing to trust that I would get guidance about my life.Once again, I became willing to let God lead. 

My prayer for you today is that God’s blessings and mercies be upon you on this day and every day.May you abide in God as God abides in you.Dance together with God, trusting God to lead and to guide you through each season of your life. 

This prayer is powerful, and there is nothing attached.If God has done anything for you in your life, please share this message with someone else, for prayer is one of the best gifts we can receive.There is no cost but a lot of rewards; so let’s continue to pray for one another. 

And I Hope You Dance!!!!!!!!

~(author unknown)