This song is pretty much describing how I feel right now.
Am I not enough for you?
They say to be careful who you listen to, be weary of where your information is coming from
I’m not saying I 100% trust my source.
I’m saying that what I heard lacerated my heart.
I thought that was over.
I thought things were getting better.
You always say you love me.
You always tell me I’m yours as you grab my butt and walk me to class.
but I feel like I’m second best.
when we started out, a year ago, you seemed so happy.
but you don’t seem happy like you used to be.
things get complicated.
I want everything back to the way it was before you cheated.
before you used my blade.
before I forgave you, but never once forgave myself
is that the game?
To make me feel terrible while making yourself feel better?
I cried real tears at school today.
I wore them as badges of courage upon my face, knowing I did what has always scared me.
I confronted you with what I heard.
I told you my opinion.
I feel like the keychain you won at the fair instead of the big teddy bear.
I’m second best to her.
I want to be your arm candy.
I want to be the girl you’re proud to date.
You’re telling me to lose weight.
I’m 104 lbs.
I know that’s probably less than her.
I just want to feel pretty, but I never do.
Not any more.
I gained 20 lbs since we started dating.
I feel fat.
I have a zit.
I feel ugly.
This year has been the best year of my life.
I don’t want to break up with you.
That’s the weird part.
I guess sometimes love can leave you blind.
I try to hide the truth from myself…
you still love her, don’t you?
You have a crush on her.
She’s the one you really want, and I’m just someone you use to take your mind off of her.
You talk about her.
Every time you do that, it’s like a kick in the ribs to me.
Only worse.
I’d welcome a kick in the ribs at this point.
You say you love me, but who do you see when you look in my eyes
me, or her?

I miss my celly phone. I want to take pictures of my life, world and observations, but my phone is taken away. I wish I could show you all half the things I see. v_v

Ah well. I’ll get my phone back soon enough. Then expect to see a wild/rad picture every single day. Because my life tends to be rather wild/rad. Like my christmas tree. How I wish I could show it to you. It’s friggin enormous! And my cats. I have six of them.

Anyways, I am leaving for school soon.

Happy Wednesday, everyone! I’ll write as soon as I get home.

love & lipgloss

-Brit

It would be fun to have a pen-pal. I was just on the forums, and some girl was asking for one. I was just thinking how cool it’d be to learn about what life is like in another country.

Happy Tuesday, all. Hm…. I’m starving. Thinking about making some breakfast before my boyfriend picks me up for school.

Life is relatively calm. Ugh. I hate cold coffee. But I guess that’s what I get for not drinking it fast enough. I found my old Hello Kitty pencil while looking for my ipod. No sign of the ipod, but it’s nice having a cute thing to write with.

Love & lipgloss

-Brit

I stayed up until like 10:00 working on it, I forsook (is that a word? I’m trying to use forsaken correctly in this sentence) my other homework, and I added my own special flair to the project, of course. Why wouldn’t you expect me to kitty-fy it?
Anyways, I hope you think it’s as cute as I do.

Good morning, world, and all who inhabit it. Today is Monday, so I’m going to school.
=[

Ah well. At least I get to see my boyfriend today!

This was back when I had turquoise hair. ^_^
As you can see, we make a dashing couple.