My Blog
A blog about cute or interesting things

Archive for the 'Uncategorized' Category

Naming my beige Matano plush!

Monday, August 23rd, 2010

XD Ok I know at least one person doesn’t like my plush.
LOL! That is great! I have no idea why it’s great… anyway, here he is, I finally got a picture of him that I was satisfied with.
So if you can think of a nice name for him, please leave a message here.


Thursday, May 6th, 2010

I feel very sad tonight because I still have no job.
I have been looking but it is a bad time for jobs here.
I am also sad because I feel like a failure. I am not young anymore but still I am not successful in life. I have nothing to do lately, I’m no help to anyone.
I always hoped I might feel safe and feel successful by the time I was 30 but (although I am not 30 yet) it has not happened.
I wonder if I should have done things differently?
Most people my age have jobs and children and a house and those kinds of things.
If I had a child (or more than one) I could focus on them and not myself and I think it would be good.
I know I would make mistakes but I would do my best. If only someone would need me then I could feel as if my life was not a failure.
Is this why women want children?
But if I live in order to have children, maybe that is not good.
I may never have children. In that case, I should just die now. But of course that is stupid, for if I die, I will never know what happens tomorrow.
I am also sad because I really did, I think, begin to fall in love with a guy. But although he lead me into it, then he was so forgetful and dismissive of me. He was cruel. So I don’t see him anymore, or talk to him anymore. I can’t handle that kind of thoughtless person. Besides, I was too clingy, his personality and mine do not match. I didn’t like the person I was becoming when I was around him.
He was a liar, saying that he didn’t mind about so many things that really did bother him. Cowardly denial of important things like that only leads to misunderstanding and fighting later. If he were only more honest, then I would feel as if we could be friends. But although I think he would like to be friends, he is still not honest. So I cannot be friends with that kind of person. He is the kind of person who needs attention and then forgets the people he becomes involved with, turning instead to other people. He has left a trail of irritated friends all around him. We all love him because he is that kind of person, one who is very attractive. But we all get cross with him all the time and he never cares. I think, it is not all my fault. I think he must realise how he is behaving. Then I can be a friend again. I do not think he knows that I was falling for him, because I never really said it. Flirting was all there was. Maybe I should just avoid him, after all. He wanted me to fall for him, somehow I could tell. But his feelings for me were never clear. That is why he is cruel. He is just a child who wants to be given all and not to have to give anything back. Well, I cannot do that for him.
I am tired of those problems. Somethings you cannot simply ignore, but in this case, hopefully if I ignore this person, it will all fade with time. Then I won’t be sad about it anymore.
I am so sad, and so tired, and quite frustrated with myself. I am muddled, overwhelmed and angry. Well, I feel a bit better having written this, so goodnight.
I just need to be patient and I will eventually get a job.