Only two weeks? Is that all? Is that all there is for love? Were you only a shooting star? A beautiful shooting star? I hope not, because it hurts like hell.

I can still smell you, feel you… I can still see your eyes on mine. I can hear your words… I remember our promises, our future… you said: “we have a lifetime”… maybe that was the problem… we didn’t have a lifetime, no one does.

I’m here, I’m here loving you even more than I did yesterday…  maybe tomorrow, you’ll be here by my side, maybe tomorrow, there will be an us in you and I.

I remember the first time I fell in love… and I mean the first time I REALLY fell in love. It was with my second boyfriend… we dated for almost five years. Since then, I think I have been in love only once more. It has been almost 7 years since the last time I had a boyfriend, I mean, I have been dating on and off, but haven’t had a “real” boyfriend since August 2001.

I recently met a guy that “captured” my attention since I first read his blog (yes people, I met him while blogging). He seemed like a smart, sensible guy (two very important characteristics to capture my attention) and I just added him to my MSN contact list. We started chatting. He is a father of two, separated (not divorced) and is currently “dating”. It didn’t matter, I was just happy to have a new friend.

Somehow and unexpectedly, we (yes, WE) fell in love. Since we realized this, our lives have been a roller-coaster. He is dating people! And I’ve been in the awkward situation where 1. I had to choose between my current boyfriend and the “new guy” and 2. my “current date” had to choose between me and the “new girl”. Both times extremely difficult situations. Both times with OK results… not easy, but definitely what was expected… I don’t regret a thing and I understand where he’s standing…

This “new guy” invited me to lunch last Friday. We had a GREAT time. We haven’t even kissed, we just talk, and talk, and talk… he has a girlfriend and I REALLY like this guy so… At night on Friday, we chatted over the computer and had (again) a great time, we said “good night, till tomorrow” and went to sleep. Since then, he has disappeared.

I know I shouldn’t jump into conclusions, but… I AM in love people!!! Feeling uncertain and worried only shows I care. Who knows what’s going to happen, I know: let it flow… it’s SO hard!!!!

Yes, I AM in love, for the first time in 10 years, I AM in love… Damn!

Everything was so much easier when I was a little girl… my mom was here, I played with my sisters all the time and our fights were about toys or TV programs… *sigh*

I so miss those days!

Two beautiful and magical dates, more than a year dating on and off, every time we were “on” everything was beautiful and magical… until you got scared, then you disappeared for two weeks (at least). Same thing last time. Two magical dates, your place for the first time, had an amazing time. Didn’t even say goodbye… two weeks later you send an email… missing me, sending kisses… Argh! Why?

My friend says you are deeply in love with me. You said it once “we are getting to a level of intimacy that I cannot handle”… ???? Why do we complicate things when they are as easy as falling in love with someone?

I do miss you. I know there are things that I don’t like about you, but I do miss you, I miss your company, your words, your laugh… watching T.V. together, breakfast in the morning… I wonder if I will ever have that kind of life… I DO miss you!

My sisters, both older than me, have given me everything (even some headaches!). They are both strong women, professionals, and wonderful human beings.

This is just a little something for them… for me to remind myself that they are out there.

To them and my life sisters: thank you!