These past days, I noticed that Vito’s wetter than usual even with his large size diapers. Is this a sign that I should start to toilet train him? Or is it still too early?Some say that a child can be toilet trained as early as 18 months but others think that it’s better to intervene at 2 years or more. Vito’s nearing 18 months. I’m just concerned that I might not be able to teach him well.

According to Freud’s psychosexual stages of development, toilet training may result to an anal retentive or anal expulsive personality depending on the response of the child and these may have long-term effects on a child’s character.

Freud labeled on character type the ANAL RETENTIVE, the child who learns to hold back his or her feelings to gain the approval of others. If training or punishment is too strict, the child may learn to defend himself from being guilty by becoming compulsively near, orderly, obedient, and by holding back his feelings and needs.

Anal-retentives learn to live up to the expectations of others to avoid punishment and to receive praise. Forever after they may become dependent on others for their feelings of self-worth. They may have to “achieve” to win the affection and attention of others to make them feel worthy. Often the “over-achievers” in the world are anal-retentive character types. Some may become compulsive “workaholics”, dependent for their identity and worth on their achievement at work.

The ANAL-EXPULSIVE character type is self-confident, assertive, outgoing and is relatively uninhibited. The expulsive expresses feelings easily and is independent in thought and action. A persuasive, expressive type, the expulsive is often chosen to be a leader. Expulsives have a low tolerance for frustration. They are the two-year old who wants his way and may “blow up” in a temper tantrum if something stands in the way of their pleasure.

Expulsives tend to be disorganized and messy, but very creative and imaginative. Expulsives live life on their own schedules and are often late. They feel little shame or guilt for their actions. Expulsives are self-confident, free and spontaneous in action, but rarely predictable. Expulsives tend to be sensation-seekers who love adventure and travel. Psychodynamic Development

With these facts, I have to make sure that Vito is ready for toilet training. I don’t wanna be too strict or too lenient, either. It’s a difficult stage and one day, I have to face it head on.

I saw this toilet training ad from Japan (via YouTube). Check it out. You might learn from it!

How did you toilet train your child? Or are you also about to toilet train your child?

Last week, I read about the importance of kids’ playtime with their dads in the article entitled Parenting Advice: Why Kids Need their Dads. Fatherly play proved to have a lot of developmental benefits, specially for male kids.

Research shows that physical engagement–like wrestling, roughhousing (when not carried to an extreme) and warm, playful interaction–helps boys learn to regulate and control their behavior, deal with a range of emotions, and adapt to a variety of situations.

During playtime, a child is given the chance to observe his father’s facial expressions and variations in movement, and eventually, will help the child become a ‘good manager of emotions.’

According to authors Jim and Charles Fay, roughhousing teaches your kids that you love them, that you’re strong enough to control them, and that you won’t control them unless it’s necessary. Your kids learn that you’re powerful, and kind
and gentle at the same time.

(more…)

Last Saturday, I went to a friend’s birthday party at UPLB. I saw some of my college friends again. D, a male friend, brought his wife with him who was eight months pregnant. When I saw his pregnant wife, I remembered the time I was still carrying Vito in my womb.I was probably at my most health-conscious state during those nine special months of nursing Vito inside me. I was always on the Internet searching for information on pregnancy, proper nutrition, sex life during pregnancy, and other related topics. I also bought some books and magazines to keep myself in the loop when it comes to parenting, motherhood, and pregnancy topics.

Of the many information I got during my pregnancy, the most helpful was the one on food additives to look out for while expecting. Sadly, almost all food on our grocery shelves are in some way glazed with some form of food additive to increase shelf life or to add flavor or taste or improve aesthetics. Knowing this, pregnant women should know what to buy and what not to buy on their next stop at the grocery store.

Mommies, look at the list of ingredients of the products you are purchasing. If it contains any of the following below, then make sure to avoid them:

1.] Artificial food colorings. Although most food colors are safe, there are a few others that pregnant women should look out for. It’s definitely a red light for the following food colors - blue 1, blue 2, green 3, red 3 and yellow 6.

If the food label does not disclose the food colors used and just puts the words “artificial coloring,” please do not buy them. Artificial food colors are linked to attention deficit and hyperactivity in children. It was also referred to as a possible carcinogen.

2.] MSG (Monosodium glutamate). MSG is a common food additive especially in Asian foods. It is synthetically-made and is used to enhance flavor and taste.

“There has been some research studies looking at MSG’s potential for causing birth defects in animals. In high doses, the additive has been found to cross the placenta and cause damage in a developing mice’s brain. It has also has been linked to behavioral problems. But this has all yet to be substantiated, especially in human studies and the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) believes that MSG is safe to eat for the majority of the population.” (Is MSG Safe During Pregnancy, Pregnancy Today)

3.] Olean. Otherwise known as olestra, olean is a fat substitute mostly used in snacks and chips. It does not directly harm an expectant mom or her baby but this additive has been shown to deplete important vitamins ADEK and may cause nutrients to be poorly absorbed. It may also cause digestive discomfort. Thus, olean may just deny you and your baby the important nutrients needed by your body.

4.] Artificial sweeteners (aspartame, saccharin, sucralose).

Aspartame was said to be safe for the general public. However, there is an exception for pregnant women with PKU, or phenylketonuria. PKU is a metabolic disorder wherein a person cannot break down phenylalanine properly.

“If these women consume products that contain aspartame, the phenylalanine builds up in their bodies, possibly causing their babies to be born with severe mental disabilities.” (Food Additives/Preservatives and Pregnancy, Pregnancy Weekly)

In addition, aspartame is used to cut calories. On the contrary, pregnant women should have high calorie intake to ensure the proper growth and development of her baby. Thus, it is recommended that women avoid aspartame during pregnancy.

Saccharine was one of the first artificial sweeteners ever made. Although it is no longer as abundant in the market as before, it is still advised that pregnant women check the food labels of what they eat.

“Saccharine can cross the placenta barrier into fetal blood, and a fetus is much slower to clear the saccharine from its blood than the mom. So if you are consuming large amounts of saccharin, it may accumulate in the baby’s bladder and potentially increase its risk for bladder problems or possibly even bladder cancer.” (Saccharine: Safe during Pregnancy?)

Sucralose, also known under the trade name splenda, has been considered safe for most people, including pregnant women.

“Sucralose being used in a variety of products including baked goods, dessert items, salad dressings, dairy substitutes, beverages and beverage mixes, jams and jellies, syrups, coffee, tea and chewing gum.” (Splenda: Safe during Pregnancy?)

Even so, because as mentioned earlier, artificial sweeteners reduce calorie intake. Thus, a pregnant woman might not be able to take in the sufficient calories and fats needed to have a healthy pregnancy.

List all the additives down and make sure that whatever you pull out from the grocery shelf is safe for you and your baby. Happy pregnancy!!!

Vito @ 7 days and hubby