Raein tagged me to do this meme: The Best Nights of your Life. Thanks, raein!:) Sorry I just saw it now.

Rule: Name five of the Best Nights of your Life and then tag four people.

1. Graduation

It signaled the beginning of a new chapter in my life. Finishing college with honors (even if I had many extra curricular activities and a boyfriend) made my family proud. The best part was having my mom and siblings with me that very night. I missed them a lot. *Sigh*

2.Elbi nights

The party scene in UPLB is definitely unforgettable. It’s you who will define it. You need not go to bars to enjoy. Staying in the apartment with friends and some refreshment (ehem), food, and good music also yield tremendous fun and wonderful memories.

3. Nights with hubby

Ooops… What are you thinking?

I love it when we just talk till morning about senseless stuff or things that happened to us before and analyzing how we’ve come to be the persons that we are today. We talk about people we despise, people we love, our dreams and aspirations.

4. Cuddle nights with Vito

Each night before sleeping, I make sure that Vito gets a high dose of my hugs and kisses. Sometimes he likes it, sometimes he doesn’t. But, I guess, that’s my way of showing him how much he is loved and adored. I love you, Vito!

5. Nights at the beach I love how the waves kiss at sea. The sound of the sea calms me. And it’s different at night because the mood is all serene and the rest of the busy world is sleeping.

Whoever wants to this meme, feel free to do it! I’m tagging you!

These past days, I noticed that Vito’s wetter than usual even with his large size diapers. Is this a sign that I should start to toilet train him? Or is it still too early?Some say that a child can be toilet trained as early as 18 months but others think that it’s better to intervene at 2 years or more. Vito’s nearing 18 months. I’m just concerned that I might not be able to teach him well.

According to Freud’s psychosexual stages of development, toilet training may result to an anal retentive or anal expulsive personality depending on the response of the child and these may have long-term effects on a child’s character.

Freud labeled on character type the ANAL RETENTIVE, the child who learns to hold back his or her feelings to gain the approval of others. If training or punishment is too strict, the child may learn to defend himself from being guilty by becoming compulsively near, orderly, obedient, and by holding back his feelings and needs.

Anal-retentives learn to live up to the expectations of others to avoid punishment and to receive praise. Forever after they may become dependent on others for their feelings of self-worth. They may have to “achieve” to win the affection and attention of others to make them feel worthy. Often the “over-achievers” in the world are anal-retentive character types. Some may become compulsive “workaholics”, dependent for their identity and worth on their achievement at work.

The ANAL-EXPULSIVE character type is self-confident, assertive, outgoing and is relatively uninhibited. The expulsive expresses feelings easily and is independent in thought and action. A persuasive, expressive type, the expulsive is often chosen to be a leader. Expulsives have a low tolerance for frustration. They are the two-year old who wants his way and may “blow up” in a temper tantrum if something stands in the way of their pleasure.

Expulsives tend to be disorganized and messy, but very creative and imaginative. Expulsives live life on their own schedules and are often late. They feel little shame or guilt for their actions. Expulsives are self-confident, free and spontaneous in action, but rarely predictable. Expulsives tend to be sensation-seekers who love adventure and travel. Psychodynamic Development

With these facts, I have to make sure that Vito is ready for toilet training. I don’t wanna be too strict or too lenient, either. It’s a difficult stage and one day, I have to face it head on.

I saw this toilet training ad from Japan (via YouTube). Check it out. You might learn from it!

How did you toilet train your child? Or are you also about to toilet train your child?

Pathway from our house; Makes me feel like a bride everyday. Thanks to our neighbor’s bougainvillea flower plants.

I discovered the wonders of macrophotography last weekend.

The Language of Flowers or, Say It with Flowers
(Excerpts)

Rose; any color; “Love”
Rose; deep red; “Bashful shame”
Rose, single; pink; “Simplicity”
Rose, thornless; any color; “Early attachment”
Rose; white; “I am worthy of you”
Rose, withered; white; “Transient impressions”
Rose; yellow; “Decrease of love, jealousy”

© 1975 - 1981 by David Wallechinsky & Irving Wallace

Being devoid of the faculty of swimming is one of my frustrations. Then, I married a man who, like me, cannot swim. The worst I could think of is for my kids to inherit the same incapacity.

Yesterday, I introduced Vito to swimming. I know it’s kind of late. Vito is already a year old. Others as early as a few months old are already exposed to swimming. I guess what really took me so long is my personal fear and the process of overcoming that fear for my little one.

I bought Vito a small pool and his own swimming trunks Monday evening. Then, yesterday, he finally had his initiation.

It is really heartwarming to see Vito learning to swim. It makes me think of the many things he can enjoy.

Being an environmentalist, I have always seen not being able to swim as a deficiency. It has robbed me the opportunity to fully enjoy nature, to confidently snorkel, dive, and try other water activities.

Vito, mum’s wish for you is that you’ll be able to experience life in all its beauty: breathtaking sceneries, interaction with nature, and being able to commune with the earth incessantly, without limits, without reservation.

Being a first-time mom is really exciting. I remember the time I was on maternity leave, all I did was compile Vito’s special photos. I designed his album and wrote little notes on each memorable event from Vito’s point of view (e.g. The first time mom and dad brought me home, I was such a cry baby. I cried all night. Probably I was still adjusting to the environment. I’m used to having water all around me. I miss Mommy’s tummy.)

Yesterday, while I was on the Internet, I discovered the wonders of digital scrapbooking. After reading about it and finding free layout kits, I started to make my first ever digital scrapbook page - Vito’s 1st Haircut.

Vito just got his haircut after his 1st birthday. I was carrying my digital camera and my amateur photography skills with me while we were at the kids salon. I was anxious at first that Vito might not be that comfortable with seeing scissors and all but he was actually pretty cool about it. I think it helped that my hubby was there with him.

I think I’ll be doing more of this digital scrapbooking.

What really got me to thinking about this was a recent article saying that many parents admit they bribe their child. Vito is just a year and two months old but I admit, I think I am guilty of bribing my kid. It never occurred to me before that I was already unconsciously doing it, until I read that article.One particular example is this: Vito does not like wearing caps or anything on his head. To convince him to put on a cap on a sunny day or during a nighttime stroll, I tell him “Vito, wear your hat. If you do, I’ll bring you to your grand dad.”

There is nothing wrong about rewarding our kids as long it is done the right way, as a way to improve their performance rather than just to make them perform or do things. Rewards should be viewed as adding value to something.

The problem about overdoing the rewards system of parenting is that our children tend to do something to gain something, in turn, making them lose the essence of why do it in the first place. As mentioned in the article I read, there was a child who would not brush his teeth without asking what he’ll get in return. That’s just too depressing. I don’t know how I would react if that would happen to me.

As I evaluate my own childhood, there were things I did to get rewards. However, my parents were able to explain to me the value of doing things. To me, the best reward I ever had was to see my parents so proud of me. That meant more to me than the money my dad used to give me when I topped an exam in college, an ice cream gallon [my choice of flavor] when I got an award in elementary, or a dinner at a fine dining restaurant in town.

Parents just have to communicate to their child the benefits of doing good and not emphasize on the reward. We parents should make our point by illustrating the reward as icing on the cake and the real fulfillment is getting things done the good, right, or proper way.

Have you experienced being “bribed” as a child?
Do you “bribe” your child?
Will you “bribe” your child?

Tell me about it.