What really got me to thinking about this was a recent article saying that many parents admit they bribe their child. Vito is just a year and two months old but I admit, I think I am guilty of bribing my kid. It never occurred to me before that I was already unconsciously doing it, until I read that article.One particular example is this: Vito does not like wearing caps or anything on his head. To convince him to put on a cap on a sunny day or during a nighttime stroll, I tell him “Vito, wear your hat. If you do, I’ll bring you to your grand dad.”

There is nothing wrong about rewarding our kids as long it is done the right way, as a way to improve their performance rather than just to make them perform or do things. Rewards should be viewed as adding value to something.

The problem about overdoing the rewards system of parenting is that our children tend to do something to gain something, in turn, making them lose the essence of why do it in the first place. As mentioned in the article I read, there was a child who would not brush his teeth without asking what he’ll get in return. That’s just too depressing. I don’t know how I would react if that would happen to me.

As I evaluate my own childhood, there were things I did to get rewards. However, my parents were able to explain to me the value of doing things. To me, the best reward I ever had was to see my parents so proud of me. That meant more to me than the money my dad used to give me when I topped an exam in college, an ice cream gallon [my choice of flavor] when I got an award in elementary, or a dinner at a fine dining restaurant in town.

Parents just have to communicate to their child the benefits of doing good and not emphasize on the reward. We parents should make our point by illustrating the reward as icing on the cake and the real fulfillment is getting things done the good, right, or proper way.

Have you experienced being “bribed” as a child?
Do you “bribe” your child?
Will you “bribe” your child?

Tell me about it.

This entry was posted on Thursday, April 19th, 2007 at 6:38 am and is filed under Daily Life, Motherhood. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.