Chasing life, I expand my wings, and feel the breeze. I have been working towards goals of a home for my mother to live out the remainder of her life. I have been dreaming of it’s warmth, solitude, respectful appearance, a room for my mother to have the library that she has always dreamed of, and space for me to be able to practice dancing, write my books, organize my projects, personalize my living environment, and have privacy. I have decided that I would also like to begin to garden and to paint. I have been wanting to paint for many years. I hope that there will be enough space for me to do just that. As I am allergic to lawn grass, the idea of wanting to be a gardener, is a strange dream. But I imagine all of the flowers, fruit, and design to the outdoors, that I would enjoy creating.
I have been sick for several weeks, which has put my practicing singing off even further. But I have a hope, with a quiet joy, that somehow has me not worried. I usually do. But right now, it feels like all is right in my world. I have had so much trouble in my life, and struggle, that I relish a moment not to worry, but to focus on the good that is coming into my life of late.
I have decided to begin to hang out with my friends more often, and to date. I had been keeping to myself and refusing to date for a long time. There were many other things that I needed to do. I was too busy, to put it mildly. So to find the time, to smell the flowers, is making me happy.
My birthday is this week. It is my favorite time of year. I get to see my best friends all at the same time over a dinner of my choosing. I love that. I don’t remember a lot of this past year. But my heart feels good and uplifted in it’s feeling type of memory. It has been difficult, but worth it. I have so much hope, and that is a good thing.
August 21st, 2009 at 7:22 am
forgot to wish you a happy birthday by the way