• August 2009
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Flowers


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Chasing life, I expand my wings, and feel the breeze. I have been working towards goals of a home for my mother to live out the remainder of her life. I have been dreaming of it’s warmth, solitude, respectful appearance, a room for my mother to have the library that she has always dreamed of, and space for me to be able to practice dancing, write my books, organize my projects, personalize my living environment, and have privacy. I have decided that I would also like to begin to garden and to paint. I have been wanting to paint for many years. I hope that there will be enough space for me to do just that. As I am allergic to lawn grass, the idea of wanting to be a gardener, is a strange dream. But I imagine all of the flowers, fruit, and design to the outdoors, that I would enjoy creating.

I have been sick for several weeks, which has put my practicing singing off even further. But I have a hope, with a quiet joy, that somehow has me not worried. I usually do. But right now, it feels like all is right in my world. I have had so much trouble in my life, and struggle, that I relish a moment not to worry, but to focus on the good that is coming into my life of late.

I have decided to begin to hang out with my friends more often, and to date. I had been keeping to myself and refusing to date for a long time. There were many other things that I needed to do. I was too busy, to put it mildly. So to find the time, to smell the flowers, is making me happy.

My birthday is this week. It is my favorite time of year. I get to see my best friends all at the same time over a dinner of my choosing. I love that. I don’t remember a lot of this past year. But my heart feels good and uplifted in it’s feeling type of memory. It has been difficult, but worth it. I have so much hope, and that is a good thing.


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An Actual Blog


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Hi! Life has been so busy for me lately, with looking for a house for my Mom, going to the gym, and now being sick. I have bronchitis/upper respiratory infection. Last week was spent mostly in bed, or being miserable from my illness. But I managed to somehow go looking for a house two different days! I shouldn’t have! The day after each time that I went out, I woke up so much sicker then the day before!

What is this about looking for a house? Well, my mother has never had a house. She is now sixty six years old. I want to make sure that she gets one for the last part of her life, before she dies. So I have been working on it for three years now. I have been going over her finances, and doing all of the work for her. I do get to live there for a while. It may also become my house after she dies. But hopefully, that won’t be for another twenty years or so. I want her to have a happy older life. She deserves it. I love her. She wants a big house. But she can’t afford much. The kind of house that we both want, is so more expensive then she can afford. So we are competing with others to find those rare houses that are priced lower then their worth, which only need a little fixing. It is hard work to find one. I found two. They were bought before we could even bid on them! I cried, honestly. I cried hard. This is serious stuff, dealing with getting a house that is where we will live, and where she will live for her retirement years. But I am looking every day, in the hopes that I can be that first person next time, to find that rare gem. Most others might only be wanting such a house, to make money on it, by fixing it and selling it for more. But for her, it means so much more. She doesn’t just want a big house, she needs a house so badly! She is living in a very cramped, old, decrepit space, that is broken and worn. So it means the world to me.

I put my career off a little, to work on finding my mother a house to live in. It has been taking twenty hours a week or more, for a year. Before that, I am not sure how much time that I was spending on it.

What I have been thinking about my career, as in where I am at with it right now, is that I have practiced once for putting together my first song for my future first C.D. Then I got sick. So I am having to wait. I need to get well soon, in hopes of being able to finish a solid draft of it, by my birthday, August the 20th. I also am hoping to fix my poetry book draft, from a scattered level, to a solid draft also. That way both will be much closer to being accomplished.

The job ideas that I have been pondering now, is the possibility of being a music teacher. This may be a good job on my way to becoming a writer and a singer. I have not made up my mind yet.

Whatever I do next, I’ve got three weeks to do it in. Greetings! and ’til next time, ado.

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