glitter-graphics.com

I have had several lifestyles over the years. I was a body builder. I have been a dancer. These took such discipline, that they created a lifestyle all their own out of necessity. I inadvertently became a lady who drank champagne a few nights a week in the big city, and composed songs for the rest of the week, hidden behind closed blinds in a small town. That lost it’s flavor rather quickly. But it was an experience that I will never forget. I was an athlete for many years, running over hills in my tennis shoes, pounding barbells in the gym, and walking the streets at night hidden behind a hat and a big oversized coat. I also found in me a gymnastic ability. This I no longer have and I miss it. Recently out of ill health, I was ripped from my healthy routine and forced to sit. Sit I did, day after day and year after year, not being able to do anything but sit. During this time, I found the t.v. set. I also found my fingers typing, writing a book or two, or three. I began marketing myself. Through it all I found new friends. Friendship online can be more then you expected. It can be deep, profound, and beautiful, just like any friendship can. It can also be a place to have simple conversations with strangers, like you might if you were out about the town.

But what now? What do I want to create, in this space, that I insist on clearing in my daily life? I have something wrong with my health, which causes the minutes and hours to go by as if they were a nano second in time. Months and years go by without so much as a whisper. Every day and every week is spent with no time left except for to only take care of the basic necessities of life. This I will not stand for. There must be a way to have time inbetween meals, in the minutes that everyone is given every day. They must be here somewhere. I have been looking for those minutes, as if it is a mystery. And this is what I have found. So far the answer lies in pain. I just found this out by having so much pain yesterday, that I had to take an awful lot of medicine. In doing this, I noticed something spectacular. I had time in my day, to do something besides eat three square meals a day. Suddenly, I actually had minutes, and hours, yes hours, free. I spent them going through my objects, organizing, and clearing out debris. I threw out a lot of papers. It was an accomplishment. Things got rearranged.

Yes I said got. So sue me. Sometimes knowing how to write properly can feel like a strait jacket imposing it’s rules upon my mouth. But as a writer, I must insist that if I choose to write improperly for the better expression of me, then so be it. I know you the reader could probably care less about this, proper English or not. But it is I who I struggle with and explain carelessly on the page. But then it is not careless but rather too careful that is always my bane.

I am searching for something, an answer, to what do I want to do with my days? The question is not what do I want to do my life, or what do I want to accomplish in this life, nor is it what do I want to do with my career? No I know all of these answers and they are a list which is strikingly long and exorbitant. No that is not the question. It is in the simple things which have always perplexed me. The difficult I will have the answer, most likely. But give me the simple, and it may confound me. And in this lies some frustration. For I have spent years finding the answers to deep things in life, only to have told a professor, and businessmen some of these things, and to have had them take my ideas and use them for their own selfish desires. These things took years to create, to find, to invent, to answer within my mind. And they stole them from me. But they are still mine, even if they are stolen. For I was the one who created them. I was the one who was there at their birth. Even though the world now knows them with other names, they would not be here if it weren’t for me, begging the question, and intently finding out why, how, and when. No the answer now is not complicated, and this is why it befuddles me. What do I do with my day? Of course I need to spend time working on homework, writing songs, singing, exercising, being on the internet, and eating and sleeping. But what else? I dream of travel. I dream of learning language. That I can create, the latter of the two. But the here and now, with what I have at my disposal now….What type of lifestyle then is what I wish to create to become, is what begs the question of the hour and of the week.

Swimming, is one thing that comes to mind, that I can create, as part of my new chapter. Pilates I think is needed for me to begin again. I am still in the process of re establishing disciplines of going to the gym, and practicing singing.

I have decided to begin on my records. In so doing, what I mean is this: focus on rehearsals for my future records, rather then focusing on the creation aspect. As the songs are not completed as of yet, the creation process is as necessary as breathing and drinking water. But it is time, to begin the new phase in this. It is time to rehearse. I need to buy discs for taping, and a microphone. My microphone seems to be not working properly. How often I am to sing, may be part of my new lifestyle. But that is also part and parcel of my career and thereby not the answer to the question at all. For the question of this was already answered. But it is that which I still do not yet know which I am looking for.

I could go back to reading literature. I have missed my books. I could also go back to work on my book. But then is that it? Isn’t there something more besides career in my day? Okay I’ll admit, I play video games, and I love my facebook time. But what else can I do that can help define my day, personally? If I had money, I could buy a contraption that I so desire, which allows one to be suspended in air and you can do yoga and gymnastic moves in it. Now this would be something I could totally dig. What else? Health food drinks, if I could learn how to make them, would be a really great lifestyle change. But both of these things take money, that which I don’t really have at my disposal as of just yet. So then, what now? Swimming, and……?

glitter-graphics.com

glitter-graphics.com

glitter-graphics.com

glitter-graphics.com

glitter-graphics.com

glitter-graphics.com

glitter-graphics.com

glitter-graphics.com

glitter-graphics.com

glitter-graphics.com

glitter-graphics.com

glitter-graphics.com

glitter-graphics.com

glitter-graphics.com

Time has been going on. We lost one house that we were looking at, or two, since the last post. The last house had termites and it would cost too much to exterminate them and to fix the damage done. So the loan wouldn’t go through for that house. But now there is a home that is much closer to where I live now, that the paperwork has been filled out for. I like that I would not have to commute to the grocery store. I would not have to commute to go anywhere in town. It is just around the corner from where I live now. So that is good, very good. It is a short sale. That means that it could be three months or more before we hear back from the bank in their response to the offer.

Meanwhile, I am looking into going to real estate school. I was recommended to go by our realtor. She gave me a name and number to call. When I did, the lady whom I spoke with referred me to a school online. There are a few different programs available there. Deciding which one to go for is in the works.

The school itself takes a minimum of forty five days to go through. There are four tests involved to become a licensed realtor. I think that it may be something that I can do over three months time. We are allowed to go at our own pace.

I am also finding out that I am now allowed to change my gym days. I had been scheduled for only being allowed to go on Tuesday and Thursday. But that hasn’t worked for me. I need to change it to Mondays and Fridays.

My feet have been acting up a lot lately. I have had trouble walking again for any amount of time. I hurt them after I went to the gym this week. It is not a normal injury but part of my disability. So I have been staying off of them as much as possible.

My singing teacher said that I have been doing great. He said that I have made progress each time that I attend. This is very positive feed back. It makes me feel relieved.

I have goals of getting the house for mom, getting my new job as a real estate assistant, and beginning to be a wedding singer. My teacher has said recently that all I need to do to become a wedding singer is to learn “Ave Maria, and to make a website. These things are in the works. I am making progress towards them all.

I also would like to learn French, and piano at school. As hobbies I’d like to do yoga, paint, dance (but I don’t know if it is possible anymore), do gymnastics with an indoor contraption machine that I wish to buy, learn Christmas songs to perform for a future album, and lose a lot of weight to get in shape. I’d also like to put together my songs that are meant for my first album, finish writing them, and get them on tape. Beginning to pen pal again, and to work on writing my books again would be great to do. At the new house, I also want to learn to garden. Buying a trademark and working on building accepting the differences of all people is also on the agenda. Meanwhile I’d like to buy some beauty treatments for my skin, and find a way to get my car running. I’d like to buy a few dolls, and a video recorder. I could begin to practice with the video camera on. I could also paint a mural.

How could I change my sleeping pattern? I sleep during the day and am awake at night. I haven’t been able to change it. And how could I get the physical therapy that I need? Perhaps if I could buy my own medical insurance, then I might have better doctors. Maybe if I had the money to pay for my own tests, for MRI’s, and such, then that would be helpful.

These are all things that I need to do.

Meanwhile I day dream of having a closet, and a bedroom where I can shut the door. Being able to write my book on a laptop that I don’t have yet, in a room that has peace and quiet with a lock on the door. I dream of finding my Winter shoes, and my dolls that I collected. I dream of putting my books on a shelf again. I dream of having a full length mirror with proper lighting. I dream of not being cold during the Winter, and having a place for my things. It would be nice to have space where I could express myself, and creatively design the decorations of my environment. I also dream of not worrying about my mom anymore. I dream of her having an oven where she can bake anything she likes. I dream of having a backyard where there is privacy away from the neighbors and prying eyes. If she could experience nice things, for once in her life, that would make me happy too. I dream of climbing through my storage, and organizing it.

So that starts with real estate school, then the house, the real estate assistant job, becoming a wedding singer, changing my gym hours, and getting paid. Then I could get health insurance, and save up for the things that I need. I could also then go bankrupt. I have needed to do that for years. But I haven’t had the money to be able to. Then if I could fix my car I would be so happy. But that may cost just too much. But I could start saving towards it. Then the skin care, the video camera, a laptop for writing books, and the gymnastic rehabilitation machine. Next would be to paint a mural, and pictures in general. Then I want to sign up for French, or Italian, and piano. Meanwhile I would start writing my books again, and finishing my first set of songs. I want to do yoga and eat health food. I know that I have said these things before. But now I am putting them into the right order for a logical sequence of events to be more able to make it happen. It’s a thought process that I am clarifying for myself.

What I don’t know is how traveling comes into this. How could I possibly make that happen? And how just how do I get involved with charities dealing with sustainability issues, global warming, and accepting differences?

I also want to have health food drinks made in my own kitchen, and go out to eat sushi and chinese. Oh how I miss chinese food and sushi! I didn’t know how good I had it when I got to have one of those each week. Granted, the sushi wasn’t often. But I got to have it. The chinese was one dish. But I got to have that one dish once a week.

What do I have now? Access to the internet, my own computer, Showtime movies, my kitty, opera lessons necessary for my future, and to live away from the evil people who used to harass me and stalk me all of the time. Peace and quiet is not over rated. It has helped me to find peace within my soul.

What else do I want? I want to go to bookstores and buy books sometimes. I want to go out during the daytime and see the sun all of the time. I want to lose all of the weight that I have gained. And I want to be able to walk three miles again. I want to be as in shape as I once was, and to feel that health radiating through my body.

I want to get my mom a makeover, on What Not To Wear. And I want to go on the ex factor and win.

I think that about says it all for now.

glitter-graphics.com

I miss this. I wish I could have this back again.

I forgot to say one thing. This is all actually very important. Because I am forty one. So this is not some whimsical desire. But it is working on setting up a life, that is already in progress.

We didn’t get the house that we had a contract on for six months. Apparently the bank that owned it was B of A. They got in trouble nationally on a large scale because it was found that they had made mistakes in several of their foreclosures. Due to this, the government cracked down on them. In a moment of fear and panic and a business mind, they sold all houses that they were sale-ing in a lump sum at an auction. This meant that instead of letting us buy the house, they sold it suddenly and without warning to someone else. This was because they were afraid that the government was going to say that they weren’t allowed to anymore.

Now the new people who own the house only bought it so that they could sell it. It is on the market. But it is a lot higher price then it was before and we can not afford it. But it is just sitting there. No one has bought it.

So even though I wish that that were our house, it’s not. Therefore we have moved on and are looking for another house. This last week we found another house. Within the week, after seven days, we found out that it would cost too much to do needed repairs. Our loan company would not go through because of this factor alone. I was daydreaming for a minute again, of living somewhere else, of having a home where it is warm during the winter, and actual space, enough room for my things.

Now it is back to searching again.

I have a lot of things to do lately. I need to go to jury duty in the morning. To do so I have to get no sleep because I have a sleeping disorder and morning time is my sleep time. I also need to do my sorority life game blog this week, and my accepting differences blog. But I need to follow up on some work needed to do on the ads for my sorority life blog. I may need to spend most of the week on that. I have to read two letters that they sent to me, and set up more ads. I have to learn how to do this as I go along. Also I have homework to do. I need to study for my voice lesson. I was assigned a particular opera that is difficult for me. I need to go over the words and spend several hours working on memorizing them. Next I need to go over the melody by listening to other people in videos sing it. I can try to remember the words as they sing it. I also need to spend some time on skin care and exercise. Meanwhile, I need to start practicing five days a week. In this practice I need to go over the songs that I have written myself and work on singing them. I have so many that I have written. I am only going to work on the ones that come into my head during these practices. Later on I will work on the other ones. But for now I am going to focus on my favorites this way. If the melody sticks in my head then it is probably a favorite.

I am excited that I think I can sing my songs now. Previously I haven’t been able to. But now I think I can. I could be wrong. But I think I can. My thinking that I can is something that tells me that I am ready now.

Sometimes I sing slow sultry songs that I consider soul. Other times I sing opera. Recently I have a new appreciation for my opera songs. I was going to do soul first and opera later. But now I think I will do whatever is natural. That’s the best way.

Every week I go over the house listings and find ones for us to go see. Now we have a new real estate agent. She is sharing her job with another real estate agent. So we have two people, the man shows us the houses in person, and the woman corresponds with me over email. She also does all of the paperwork.

I am looking into being trained online to be a real estate assistant. I need to call this week. I also need to call about getting an advocate to help me get the health insurance and benefits that I need. I am hoping that the real estate assistant work could be done a few nights a week at home.

Thanksgiving is right around the corner. I always go out to dinner at a restaurant for the holiday with my mother, my brother, and his wife. My biological father and my step family live a little bit too far away. The car has too many miles on it. We don’t have the money for another car. It would quite possibly break if I brought it so far. Therefore, I never get to see my father, not even for the holidays. He never comes to visit me either. Our schedules don’t match. I wish that I was more important to him, so that he would actually visit me. I can not spend the night anywhere. I have a sleeping disorder that takes away that option. But now he lives close enough to where with a newer car one could drive that distance and we could go out for some tea. All I want is his time. But he only gives his time to his step daughters. They get all of the love and attention. They get to know my father, not me. He treats me as a biological daughter. But he wants me to treat him as if he treats me differently. It has hurt my whole life. The only way to keep the pain from hurting so much is to not talk to him online as much. I also can’t visit his page because it has on there all the time the love and devotion and close bond expressed by him and his step daughters to each other. It seriously breaks my heart to see it, with every new occurrence. I tried to be close to them. I tried to work it out. But they hate me for it. They think by me trying to work out issues that I am being negative. But I was trying to fix something that is broken. Apparently they like it broken because they’ve got each other. I don’t matter to them and I never have. So for the holidays I spend it with my real family. The ones who are there for me are my mother and my brother. His wife is nice too. I just wish that the hurt would go away. But I know that even if he died the hurt would never go away. It is a part of me. Unless he, my biological father, actually treated me like he treats his step daughters, and made sure to spend time with me on a regular basis and gave me some respect, then over time the pain would probably go away. But something like that happening is just not going to. I have tried to get it to happen my whole life. I have cried so many times over the years, so profusely, and profoundly. That I had to learn to stop trying, just to minimize the pain. But I think that maybe most probably that I was the lucky one. Because I got my mom out of this. She is better then any of them can hold a candle too. She understands devotion and love and the true meaning of it. She is wonderful and she is a very very good mom and a very good friend. I doubt since they have treated me this way, that if they had treated me like family, that they would love me or understand me the way she does. She has the real stuff. I hurt my whole life because he took care of them and not me. All that they heard was dollar signs. Because they couldn’t see past their own lives to see what my father did not do for me. He did not treat me like family. He did not love me. He did not accept me. He did not respect me. He did not ever stick up for me, like he did them. He went to bat for them a million times over but never me. Yet my mother has. She has stuck up for me. She knows what love is. She accepts me and loves me like a mother should. Actually, she has gone far and above the call of duty. Because she took the time to argue, yes argue and fight until she understood where I was coming from. Then once she understood, she got my back. Something they never did, but they do for each other. So for the holidays, for Thanksgiving, I spend it with my mom and my brother and his wife, because they are what family is supposed to be, real.

glitter-graphics.com

glitter-graphics.com

I always write my blogs as if I were to become famous some day, equals carefully. But what if I were not? What if I am editing myself or speaking in a way that has no validation? Then I would be missing out on something, blathering on about nothing in particular. How much would that really hurt? Is it alright if I tell you what I ate or what I truly wish to eat? This has nothing to do with world peace, nor my dream career, but sometimes it might be nice to simply let my words flow without having any expectation from myself of myself, if that makes any sense.

I crave cake all the time, and chinese food. I am always craving not only chinese food, chow mein, but Starbucks frappucinos. It seems not a day goes by any more that I don’t wish for a frappucino. I love the chocolate chip ones and the vanilla.

I have about seven hundred and fifty friends online from the real world and cyberspace. They are spread out over several profiles and email addresses. I organized my online life into simple categories. Then it got more complex as time went by. It seems that making something new online is a past time of mine that I do not seem to be able to live with out for I’d say a year or two. Then I must create something new, online. I have my reasons, my grand plan, if you will. Really, it is an idea that I have in my head that I am trying to create. But try as I might, it hasn’t seemed to become this “thing” I imagine. Yet, I enjoy it. I do, I really do. What I am trying to say is that they are all interconnected purposely. But you might not know that from the naked eye, or others perception as it will.

When I first saw the computer, not mine, but a computer, on a huge billboard, I thought that it was a machine meant to brain wash the human race. And that they would all fall for it, but not me, oh no, of course not, never me. But try as I might, that machine got me in the end. And it is not meant to harm anyone, as far as I can tell. It may be one of the best inventions ever made. I laugh thinking back to my original fear.

I mean sure, the government can now keep track of us at will if they so desire, and even have dangerous information about our likes and dislikes. But then, I don’t put everything online. Perhaps too much sometimes, one might think, but not to me. I am careful about what I say and what I do not say, and that’s the point. There is so very much that can be said, without having to say something that you shouldn’t have. Knock on wood, yes knock on wood, or bless me father for I have sinned, but haven’t we all?

What I find amazing, is how someone who may fall within a group or fact, that is so insulted by some, prejudiced against, and yet they themselves can be prejudiced against someone else, from another group that falls within these misunderstood roles. What is that about? I think that everyone is equal. Now everyone may not be good, or kind, or evil. There are some evil people out there. But they are not groups of people. They are purely individuals who have chosen to be that way. But are they any less then any other? No, of course not, they are equal, everyone is. Everyone may have qualities better then someone else, but that someone else has qualities better then them. It evens out in the end.

I wonder, if class affects one’s ability to persuade, or rather to have power, to in-act change or direct influence in the online world? It is said that everyone is equal here, in their ability to create, to will, to bring to being, to in-act change and influence on others. I so hope this is true. It would be truly phenomenal. But I can’t help but wonder, if I had a great deal of financial fortitude, just how much more I might be able to create, to generate, to in-act change and influence in society or the political human stratosphere of cyberspace. In this I wish to create good, peace, love, for all, to reach beyond my own little box, whatever that might be, and to push boundaries in such a way that I could reach others and hold their hand in a time of need. But that’s just me.

glitter-graphics.com

Hi,

I have been busy all over the internet recently. I started several web pages.

glitter-graphics.com

I started playing a fantastic game called “Sorority Life,” around March or April. The game can be found either on Facebook, MySpace, or at Playdom.com. I started a blog for those who like to play the game. It is called “A Guide To Sorority Life.” It is at: http://kats-muse.blogspot.com/

glitter-graphics.com

I also started a page at Facebook, that if you enjoy the blog you can “like” the page. It is also a place for players to find others who they can add to their “house” as part of the game. The address of the page is at: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Tips-For-Sisters/118479431540872?v=info

glitter-graphics.com

Twitter is new to me. I love the background that I found for my new page there. It is a place for me to spread the acceptance of different kinds of people, and to leave updates about myself. It is at: http://twitter.com/Kat_Lyons
Follow me.

glitter-graphics.com

I was waiting for several years to start something that I have been planning on, because I needed a trademark for a name. It is to start a company. That company name I want to put on everything, including a certain blog that I have been imagining writing for a long time. The time to start the blog is now and I don’t have the money for the trademark. I figured out what to do, put it underneath my real name. I have been trying very hard to keep my real name private online for many years. But all of a sudden, now that I am making a big step in my life online, I need to use it. Whenever I have the money for the trademark, then I can update it. The blog is about accepting the differences of all people. It is also a place for me to write news articles on subjects that catch my ire, or as some would say, near and dear to my heart. I just began with my first post, simply introducing myself. I plan to write on average once a week. The address is: http://katlyons.blogspot.com/

And if that wasn’t enough, I started at Utube. I take voice lessons professionally. I have been taking them for many years. The point that I am at with the homework recently, is that as part of each assignment, I look up the song assigned to me online and listen to how many other people have sang that very song. Then I decide who I liked their rendition the best, and bookmark it. A collection in my bookmarks started getting quite extensive. I don’t want to weigh down my computer. So I started on Utube. That way I can collect them there and it won’t count in the weight of my computer files, because Utube is attached to the internet and not to my computer. While I am there I have also been finding some of my favorite videos to share. I love to be able to show others what music I find most interesting. The address is:
http://www.youtube.com/user/MissKatLyons

glitter-graphics.com

I started with a new teacher about three months ago. He graduated from Julliard and Cornell. I like having experience with different teachers, because each one teaches me something new. I have stayed with most teachers for many years. It is like reaching new levels, when you have learned all that the one teacher can teach you, and moving on to someone who you can learn more from.

glitter-graphics.com

Life has grown a bit. One of my best friends got married. One had his fourth child, and yet another one moved in with his girlfriend.

glitter-graphics.com

I am still trying to get my mother into a her first house. She has been under contract on one house since March! It shouldn’t take that long. But with this new economy, a lot of things about the system are changing. The problem is now she won’t have the money that she needs to build some necessary stairs outfront. That is because a federal rebate program had a deadline and the bank did not allow her to meet that deadline. Therefore, I will be looking for another way to make it happen. And life goes on, and that’s a good thing.

glitter-graphics.com

One of the things that I think I am supposed to do with my life, is get my mom into a house of her own. I have been trying to get us a house for maybe three years now. I am not sure when all of this got really going. I tried to begin to figure it out, in 2004. But then it seemed impossible. Because she doesn’t have the kind of income that people have who buy houses. But then the economy crashed, and that all changed. As I watched other people’s misery, I quietly rejoiced, hoping and praying every day, that the numbers would get worse. Because the numbers for the stock market being bad, actually means the difference between my mom being able to ever buy a house or not. With the stock market in turmoil, my mom CAN buy a house. Under normal stock market conditions, she can not. That is because it brings the house prices down. But that is not all. It is just the beginning.

As it turns out, people who have lots of money are out there buying up all of the houses that are now low enough priced for my mom to buy. They are buying them not to live in them themselves, but to fix them up prettier, and sell them for a profit. They are called investors.

At first, I thought that investing in houses was something fabulous, if I could do it. But I don’t have the money. Until I saw first hand how there are not enough houses on the market, for those who want and need to buy houses to live in, to buy. This means that those investors are keeping the lower income people out of the market, taking away their buying power, still, because they are buying every single one, for profit. So the poor are staying poor. But my mom has worked for thirty years at a government job. She has stayed living in a place that is now old and decrepit, for twenty three years. She needs to move. We need to move. It is too small and definitely not healthy. There is not enough room for her or for me. It is falling apart around our ears.

I want her to have a good life, for the last part of her life. That would mean buying a good house, and having enough space for our things. I want her to die happy. But more then that, I want her to live her older years satisfied and fulfilled, like she should be.

glitter-graphics.com

It tears my heart out imagining her living ’til the end of her life where she is living now. People in America should not have to live like this. No one should.

So I have been working for free, figuring out the numbers, the details, the ins and outs of it all, and finding listings of homes for us to go see. We have been out looking at houses almost every week. We only stop when we have an offer in, and as we wait to find out if we got it or not, then. But, she has put in eleven offers before yesterday. That means that we have seen about sixty to seventy houses and chosen eleven to put in a contractual bid on. She was out bid by investors ten times. One time they didn’t want to take her loan type. (She can put down less of a deposit then other loans with the loan that she has, which helps make it possible). Going out looking at houses every week, and finding the listings, has been enough work to be a paid job. It is hard, tiring, and takes all of my time away from working on my career or any other job that I could possibly do. But it’s well worth it.

There have been tears, many tears, and great joy along the way. When I find a house that I love, I get so happy. But when she gets turned down and somebody else has gotten it, my heart has gotten broken, again and again. But then I have to get up and do it all over again. This part of it, has been going on for two years. The most busy part to where it is constant, it is my whole entire life, has been for one year almost.

To top it off, she doesn’t have furniture, not furniture that should ever be used by anyone anyway. Her furniture needs to be thrown away. There are a few nice pieces. But most of it was old when she got it, and has been used for twenty seven years. It’s decrepit. That’s just sad. But it also gives me a drive inside, a pulse that is pushing through my chest to keep going on and make something happen that is good for her.

A side benefit, something that I only realized recently, is how much it could change my life as well. If we get a house that has enough space for our things, then life will be completely different. But I am not sure if we are going to get a house that is really big enough to do that at all. We have been having to choose some houses that simply would not have enough space for our things, due to prices of houses that are out there. But, even a house that does not have enough space at all, would be much better then where we are living presently. It would also be a house for her, a place to call home. Oh, but I hope that we get one that has enough space! Imagine that, a real house, an honest to goodness solid, pretty, house. How peaceful that would be. This is the part of our journey that I am on.

glitter-graphics.com

Chasing life, I expand my wings, and feel the breeze. I have been working towards goals of a home for my mother to live out the remainder of her life. I have been dreaming of it’s warmth, solitude, respectful appearance, a room for my mother to have the library that she has always dreamed of, and space for me to be able to practice dancing, write my books, organize my projects, personalize my living environment, and have privacy. I have decided that I would also like to begin to garden and to paint. I have been wanting to paint for many years. I hope that there will be enough space for me to do just that. As I am allergic to lawn grass, the idea of wanting to be a gardener, is a strange dream. But I imagine all of the flowers, fruit, and design to the outdoors, that I would enjoy creating.

I have been sick for several weeks, which has put my practicing singing off even further. But I have a hope, with a quiet joy, that somehow has me not worried. I usually do. But right now, it feels like all is right in my world. I have had so much trouble in my life, and struggle, that I relish a moment not to worry, but to focus on the good that is coming into my life of late.

I have decided to begin to hang out with my friends more often, and to date. I had been keeping to myself and refusing to date for a long time. There were many other things that I needed to do. I was too busy, to put it mildly. So to find the time, to smell the flowers, is making me happy.

My birthday is this week. It is my favorite time of year. I get to see my best friends all at the same time over a dinner of my choosing. I love that. I don’t remember a lot of this past year. But my heart feels good and uplifted in it’s feeling type of memory. It has been difficult, but worth it. I have so much hope, and that is a good thing.

glitter-graphics.com

glitter-graphics.com


glitter-graphics.com