Today is really tiring, I have been sitting for exam since 9Am till 4pm..Gosh!!~ But anyway my finals is gonna end on this Saturday. I hope this last paper does not mess up my grades.
I was group studying at Cheng’s house. Then I accidentally knocked the window railing. And the alarm rungs. His parent woke up. I felt so bad. I dint mean it, really.I swear!!!~ Omg.. I am so so so so so SORRY!!!!~ I am sorry for being so playful.. Will Cheng forgive me?? =’( I am sorry!!!!!!!!!~
Heard my friend say that actually WC suits me, but they don’t know how I feel. The relationship between me n WC, only the both of us know. Somehow, it is between the 2 of us. I won’t accept or reject somebody just because of other ppl’s opinion. Last time I was easy influenced by other ppl but now I’ve learned how to decide by my own. I don’t want to let myself regret anymore. I’ve learned my lesson of Ken n Pab. Anyway, the reason I rejected WC is because I felt like we are from a different world. We both have strong egos and I know we will not be able to keep our relationship for a long time, to couple is easy but to associate is difficult. And sometimes my ego can become so unbearable. I felt guilty for rejecting him because I am the one who admire him at the first place but I did not let him know as he was in a relationship that time. Till the time he broke up, my feelings towards him was lessen and I didn’t know he did felt for me. Maybe we are fated to be just friends. Everything is already in the past and now we are just friends, so I don’t want to think bout anything between us anymore. Cheng has been teasing me since the day I told him bout it.
Then, just now I was chattin wit B** and he told me that he is suffering by seeing JO**ON and E**S so sweet infront of him. He also told me that the relationship between him and J is getting worse. Sometimes, I just don’t understand how can this type of girls exist in this world. Don’t she know that she is hurting B?? How can she couple with a close friend of B?? This totally doesnt make sense. She’s so bitchy.My god!! J is also wrong to do so. I know loving someone is not wrong but since he know story bout B and E then why did he still approach her?? I really pity B. I can imagine those feelings he is handling now, He have to face them everyday in college but he still have to act like he don’t care.
Now I finally know, to find someone that you love and someone that loves you at the same time is very difficult. So, don’t give up a relationship so easily.
The next paper i’ll b sitting for is Marketing research. I’ve been revising the teks book and notes for 2 days but i’ve not complete more than 2 chapters…I’m such a failure. I cant understand what the hack is the book talking about. It’s confusing!!!~ ish…hate this paper.
Anyway, this Friday is J’s bufday and I wished him early as i know i wont be able to on9 this few days. Besides that, I hand-made a piece of card for him. Just a simple one, it’s because he always sounds lonely and I just want him to be happy on his bufday. I don’t want him to feel lonely as i want him to know there are friends that really cares bout him..(”,)
I was reading the newspaper and i found an interesting article. It’s about New Year resolution. ARE YOU A PERSON WHO BELIEVES IN MAKING NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS?? New year resolution in WIKIPEDIA is defined as “Commitment that an individual makes to a project or a habit, often a lifestyle change that is generally intepreted as advantageous”. Some people said if you are unable to keep a resolution then might as well don’t make it. To me, making a resolution is easy but to keep it is definitely less so. I’m afraid of making new resolution because I know it will be broken shortly once they are set. I don’t have the habit of that usually but this year is different. Because I am turning 20 this year and the first week of Jan 2008 taught me a valueble lesson . My resolution for this new year is:-
I hope i can keep my resolutions. This is a promise to myself and it’s a start to improve my life.
I was in the midst of chatting with my friends in MSN and suddenly Ken bump up with a message “Hi, How R U??”. It’s been a century I’ve not meet him or chat with him because I’ve lost his number when my hp was stolen. I did not make the first move to ask for his number because I thought it is an embarassing thing for me to do. I did not want him to look down on me again. Then, I replied him by telling him bout my lost phone and the car accident I met last 2 week. He ask why didn’t I confronted the guy who stole my Hp, and I told him I didnt who was it. He thought i was drunk but I was not. Thereafter, he asked me to save his number and asked me to ring if I have any problems. The conversation we are having this time is so different from the last, I was not excited like last time. This time we chat more like a friend than a scandal or couple. I feel comfortable thereto but somehow I still feel like revenging. He used to be insolent to me and I want him to regret for letting me go. I know last time I’m not preety and alluring, therefore I will make myself preetier start from this minute. I hope I will not meet him till I slim down a little. Besides that, I know I will gain some self confidence if i reduce some weight. I really do want to change my outlook.
I just finish my Microeconomic paper and I am really tired because i did not sleep last night. Today’s Micro paper was just Ok, i wished to get an A but now…sigh!!~ i think i just have to dream on..lolx.. I am sleepy and tired now so i think is time for me to go to bed.
Later at 2pm I am sitting for my Microeconomic paper. My aim for that paper is a distinction. I am in the 5th semester now and i have not get an A for my papers. I know, shame on me..Thats why,No matter what I’ve give my best shot later because I don’t want to let myself regret. I’ve been resiting this paper for twice and I wont allow myself to resit it for the third time. Actually, I am afraid. Afraid of sitting for that paper alone as no one is gonna be there to accompany me, besides that I also afraid that i might forget some of the theories that I’ve memorize. No one’s gonna be there to help or guide me. I wish i can do it well by just depending on MYSELF!!!~ It’s time for solo..huhu~~
I am sitting for my finals tomorrow and honestly I am not fully prepared. I wish i can pass this paper successfully. And May god bless me. I still got 5 more papers to go. Sigh..really tension..Feel like going for movie now..haha. =P
My finals is 3days from now and I am getting more stressful and tension. I can feel the pressure. I need to sit for 7 subjects and god bless i can pass all of them because i seriously want to graduate this MAY and i don’t wish to resit for any paper that will delay my Graduation. How can i keep myself motivated ?? I just hate exams. DAMN!!~ Now, I think i need to consider of contineing my studies because i am really afraid to stuck in the middle and i Don’t want to waste my parents money and my time. That’s a tough decision. sigh!!~
I was doing preparation for my final exam and KS ring me. He told me he was drunk and ask if i could accompany him for a moment, i thought he is moody or maybe something is wrong with him so i agreed to accompany him. Then when he reached my house, he asked me to drive his car because he felt dizzy. So i just drove the car and stop by at pyramid, suddenly he held my hand and he lay his head on my shoulder. I was shocked!!!~ I didn’t know what to do so i just let it be, i thought maybe he just need someone around him so he will feel more secure. But i was wrong, i start to feel something adi. I feel bad so i ring Eriko and ask if she could teach me what to do, she advice me to go home and i followed what she said. I drive the car and parked at the playground. I told him i need to go and he start to hold my hands, hug me, kiss my cheek.!!~He is disrespecting me.. WTH..i was mad and i pushed him away in no time. . I was frust and scare, i just push him away and ask him to stop. He asked whether i love him and i answered “NO”. He let go my hand and i left the car. I felt humiliated, I have never met this kind of case. I felt so disgusted. I think he notice he was wrong, he sended me 3 sms telling me “SORRY” but i did not reply him.
I just finish chatting with Boy. We chat about our life. He told me about his secret, about a girl that he used to Love but he did not accept her as his gf. Besides that, he also told me bout his past. Now i understand everyone has their own story behind. This is what we call LIFE. Human grew up by walking thru all this. We learned by experiencing things, we learned from our mistakes. To me, It is important to forget the past but NOT THE LESSON. When i was chatting with boy just now, we chat back about the jojo stuff. I know i should think before i speak. Now i know my mistake and i hope i will never repeat it again.
Anyway, my finals are next week. But i am not prepared. I am stress and tension. I hope i can do well in this semester. Bless me..=)
I went to Eric’s girlfriend nail art shop. She helped me colored my toe nail. I really love it. And she only charged me RM10!!!~ can u imagine?? wow!!~ Anyway, today i overnight at Cheng’s house because he wanted to tutor me on my microeconomics. Hehe..”KONONNYA” study..=P felt lazy anyway. haha..
I just woke up and i feel better today. Then i saw J left me a message in friendster. He said this “now everythin is goin fine d..no sad no sad la. they angry of u of cuz got dey own reason. u should noe tt dey’re oways care abt u more than e car.
tell me who’s e one nv ever making trouble in tis life. im oso glad tt u makes apologize to them. at least u ald do ur part.
vehicle is a material things, as long as u’re in safe, can d.. don think too much la.. cheers up!!
jus let it be.. forget e passed. and rem no one blame fer tis.. jus take tis as a experience lo. next b careful can d.. everythin is fine k… talkless, action and prove to dem ur ability.. end up dey’ll proud of u of cuz..
tupzzz shake ur boom boom~~~
:D”
I didnt know he is this good in comforting and advising ppl..i feel even better after reading his msg..*PHEW*..thanx J. I appreciate it alot..(”,)
Now all i have to do is prove to my parents as J said. I have to concentrate and get a better result this sem..i hope i can do so..god bless me!!~
I just woke up, it’s 12.38pm now. I just walk to my computer room and turn on the computer. I read my email, my aunty wrote me an email. She told my mum ” Yes - I always grumble this & that!!!! Must change attitude problem so that more “choy” will come. Luckily Ming Lee is OK lah, Other than that, it’s only the inconvenience” “Ming Lee - you must obey your elders! If u had not disclosed your IC details, u would have saved on the RM 100.00 . When our Mercedes met with a major accident (driven by Eric), uncle reported he was the driver ‘coz he is the owner & Eric is not a named driver (will deduct RM 400.00 from the claim). Always check notes with elders before doing anything ‘coz you are not experienced enough. ”
While i was reading this phrase, My tears flew down rapidly. I couldnt control myself, i am really sorry for my parents. I shouldnt have quarrel for the car, WHY am i so stubborn?? I should have obey what they say.I am too selfish, why i just only think about myself??I am Sorry. This is the first time i apologize face to face to my parents, and my mum was so mad, she even say she don’t want to speak to me. I am really sad, I was Sorry. She banned me not to drive her car for life, but i can understand. I am SORRY!!!~ Really sorry.. =’( I don’t know what to say beside SORRY!!!~ They have financial problems but they just keep quiet and settle themself but i gave them a big mess now. Call me stupid, call me silly, call me dumb ass.I know i couldnt turn back time, what happen is already happened. I know it will bother me at least 2months. I am really phobia. Why am i having so bad luck recently, my purse and hp was stolen jus 2 weeks b4 and now…………sigh!!~ kill me plz..sombody jus kill me..i am tired, my mind is exhausted. I need a break!!~ I wish i could concentrate in my studies, my finals is just around the corner. I will just concentrate study now..Plz..GOD, show me the way… =’(
I just came back from chilling with CHeng, I met an accident just now. I accidently bang on a honda accord backside. I was too panic and i step on the wrong padel. The wira was badly injured, I am very sad. At the moment i banged my car, i didnt know who to call. All i know is Pab might b able to save me so i ring him, but unfortunately he was busy. He was bathing and i have no choice. I had to call my parents.My daddy n mummy were scolding me n blaming me, they were right. I shouldn’t have complaning to drive, HERE IS THE RESULTS!!~ have to spend more than 2K to service the car. My mum and dad were struggling for money but i mess up their life once again. I am sorry..then pab came to the police station and help me..i was so touched..i realli feel like hugging him and cry, it was a surprise becoz he said things tat i would wish to hear at that moment. He said “wat happen already happend, ur parents love u so dun think too much k?? I NOE U R STRONG ENOUGH TO HANDLE THIS, if ur parents weren’t here i will sure hug u” i realli feel like crying after i heard tat… last time when i have problems, he will hug me and solve it fer me..How i wish he could do tat..I missed him so much suddenly, i really miss while i am sad he hugged me. i am reali sad, but no one were here to comfort me, luckily cheng drove from klang to chill me, i am really touched and felt thankful…i am sorry..i am reali sorry to my parents..i wont quarrel wit them already..i am sorry…plz forgive me. I really know my mistakes, i know i always bring them trouble..I AM SORRY!!~ =’(
|
|||||||||
|
|||||||||
|
|||||||||
|
Add to del.icio.us
Digg this!
