This morning when i woke up, my mind is so damn tired but i still force myself to wake up and go class. Because we planned to go to the Ulu yam waterfall today. Then, at 11 something we left our college and drive to Ulu yam..We had our breakfast there as well. I did not wet myself because i really don’t like that kind of places. It’s so..dirty to me!!~ An indian came after that,he swim with his triangle swimpants then he bring his shampoo and stuff, HE BATH THERE!!~ OMG!!~ damn dirty..luckily i did not play with the water..Besides that, when i reach there. I was walking around with maria, suddenly cheng,Kiat,huat,chun hou and yee sing told us there was a snake beside me..i almost scare to death..gosh..But somehow, that place is relaxing when u close ur eyes and listen to the water splashing down..There is also wedding photo shooting of a couple, It lOoks so tiring by posing under the waterfall.wuhu~~

I blamed the wrong person. Wei chien was right. I really should use my brain and think. Y am i making the same mistake again and again?? They are disppointed on me, yeah they should actually. It was all my mistake. My heart is broken into pieces. I feel like “RESTING IN PEACE”. I am sorry to Jojo and wei chien. Wei chien hurt my feelings by telling me “PLz dun hurt my friend(Jojo)”..sigh, I thought he understands how i feel. I dont want to explain to him, I dont need him to pity me.

Actually I really don’t wanna ask Jojo bout it already coz i dun wanna lose a friend. But when i receive the cards i really feel like asking. I thought i have the right to ask, But i noe i was too over. I should have be more polite. But they will never understand how i feel, The phone really meant alot to me, i have lotsa memorable stuff inside..It wasnt bout the value of the phone or the f**king Cash in my purse.sigh!!~ When i was chattin wit jojo and wei chien, my tears cant stop falling. I was sad, blame me for my silliness. I am sad for blaming the wrong person. I am sad that both of them dun understand my situation. But it’s Okie, they will never understand me. Whatever it is, I’ve already apologize. I hope i can learn my lesson. I’ll never do this again..i regret!!~

Yesterday,Daddy walked in to my room at around 2am..i asked why isnt he asleep at this time? He said that he can’t fall asleep because he got lots of stuff in mind. I knew it is because of financial problems again. At that moment, honestly i don’t feel good. I feel sorry for him, i feel it was my fault. Then, i just feel like writing but my bro was using the computer. So i just took out a piece of paper and write down my shout out..This is what i wrote :

SORRY DADDY, FORGIVE MINDY

I hurt my daddy, I am dummy

 make no money, waste his money

He is unhappy, all because of me for being so kiddy

His pamper makes me cry like a baby

Please wake me before i walk wrongly

daddy, no worry

Trust Mindy

I’ll earn my own money, buy my own brandy

I’ll do my best to University

Never wanna give up Shiffield City

Daddy, Don’t be moody

Because of money

Daddy, I am sorry

Please forgive mindy

Today, I am really moody about what happened last nite. So i went for the movie “Alvin and the chipmunks” with maria and cheng. I thought it could cheer my mood up but unfortunately Daddy called in the middle of the movie, telling me that someone posted my Driving license and my ATM cards back to me. I really feel like crying, my tears are running out of my eyes. I am very very disappointed, I guess i know who is the one who stole it. I guess it might be Jojo, because i only told him and wei chien i wanted my driving license and Atm cards back. I really don’t know what to do, my family members is throwing stones at me, saying how silly i am to trust those friends. Who can understand how i feel?? I feel bad inside..DO anyone know about it?? How do i know my friend will do such things and hurt me?? Is it wrong to trust friends?? GOSH!!~ I am pressure, I am stress…Besides that, my finals are around the corner. I am even tension about it. How should i release my stress?? I need a break..

Just now when i was clicking around in Friendster, i saw Betty’s page. She uploaded alot of new pics of them when they went to Port Dickson. I feel a little left out,  a lilttle sorrowness in my heart. This feeling is awful. But, who i could blame?? I have class to attend that time. sigh~ I feel left out recently, Didnt go party,yam char or hang out with them. Today is Christmas eve but i think i will most probably spend my countdown night at home all alone. Where else can i go?? ALone?? No way!!~  I really feel like going for movie or the bar to chill myself. I am stress, Real stress.. =’(

Thomas, a French guy i met randomly in msn about 2 years ago. We used to chat oftenly in Msn or emails. He lived in France and the age of 20 plus. We are always busy chatting and you can hardly see us silent just for a minute. He is a nice guy and i was chatting with him this morning at around 3am. Talking bout our life and things we met recently. He also praised me. Saying i am cute and preety, and saying I am consider a hot chiq to french ppl. Haha..i was really happy after hearing it but somehow I still think i am too big size. hmm..i mean a little too chubby. Sigh..I am trying my best to slim down. Really hope i can have a slim waist and tiny legs one day. Then, we end our conversation at around 6am. I went to bed after that, was too tired. At around 2pm in the afternoon, i woke up by myself and found out my “aunty” visited me. So i went to the bathroom immediately and shower myself. Don’t really have the mood to go out because of the burning sun but my mum wanted to go to a boutique in KL so i decided to accompany her. End up buying a dress and a blouse for myself. haha.. But as soon as i reached home after dinner at Jalan alor, i ran up to my computer room and sign in my MSn. Hoping he is in online mode in msn, but..unfortunately he is not.=( Quite sad bout it.  Then, I just watch some downloaded entertainment shows and dedicated a song to him in facebook. That’s all i can do. kinda miss him..=p signing off now since he is not around. And i have class to attend tomorrow…hOping my day will be better tomorrow. (”,)

Yesterday night was Allen’s birthday but i did not attend his birthday party at Mystique because i wasnt in a good mood and i am broke.REAL BROKE!!~ So, i just stay at home and on9. Suddenly, keng sing called me and ask me to go yam char with him. He say he is coming. So i was like “oh okie”. Then, we went to Asia cafe for a drink,continue on with a game of foosball. After that, he even drove me to his place. I mean he show me the way to his hse because we plan to go for movie today and he asked me to drive. But, today i end up online at home because i seriously don’t feel like going for movie with him. He kept on mentioning want me to be his gf but I know we really cant be together. I guess he is jus jk but seriously i dont like the way he speaks. He is a nice friend but i dont think he is a good bf. Besides that, I don’t have any feelings towards him. By looking at the apprearance, It is so obvious my size is larger than him. He is tiny. haha, sorry for that but no hard feelings plz. I need someone who can gives me security. I need someone who is tougher and stronger to protect me because i am not as strong and tough as everyone thought. I feel so weak inside now, i am so down and i realy need someone to concern and give me support. I am having a tough time now. Sigh!!~ Now, only jye can cheer me up. Before going for yam char last nite, i was chatting wit jye. This fellor really can cheer me up, although he did not tell any jokes but he can make me put on a smiley face, it’s as easy as tapping his finger tip. I gave him * 2 THUMBS UP*..IMPRESSIVE!!~ haha.. But, tonite i am feeling lonely without him chatting with me. Feeling weird huh?? I miss that silly pOker maniac..=P..I really do miss him!!~ I guess he went back to Kluang for the “GUO DONG” already. How nice if we could chat now..I am sad and lonely..Who can understand how i feel now?? *SOB SOB*  The 3rd thing was, i’ve already told wei chien that i wished we could remain jus friends between us because i really dont wanna lose a nice friend like him. He answered “OKIE, AS YOU WISH”..sounds abit rude but I know actually he just want me to feel better. I was glad that we could remain our friendship. Then, at night he did send me a good nite message. He said “good9 and forget what i told you last nite, i am sorry. I was drunk and i promise there will not b 2nd time. hehe bye”. And i just answered him “Okie, don’t wry. nite n sweet dreams. tata”. I wish i can act nothing happen on Monday. I hope both of us wont b shy or something. Sigh!!~ god bless…

Know what?? I just reached hOme. I went to Maison just now with jennerd, weichien, jon, jojo, jacky, jacky’s fren, eriko, nana, san san, maria, jhia yin,bobo, karmen. I brought my handbag with 2 hp & one Guess purse. In the end of the night, I found out that i lost my purse and my Nokia 6680. Only my IC and sony ericsson is inside my bag. But, i can confirm that the thief must be friends between us or else that fellor wont be that efficient to steal my purse by returning me my F**King IC only!!!~ I am damn f**king pissed. I trusted my friends so much and it ends up like that. Now I learned my lesson, Never trust anybody but urself. Even your closes friends can betray you. I am damn sad for my Guess purse and my 6680.  That 6680 got tons of contact inside, & contents of 800 of Ken’s and my messages. Even Teddy’s contact!!!!~ I uses my half year salary to buy tat stupid Hp and it is stolen by my fren’s fren. My heart is broken. Seriously, it hurt so damn much. How could I express my feelings? I got no energy to cry. Heart is too painful.. sigh!!~ Wei chien n jennerd says that they wanna return me a Hp but i rejected. It wasnt their fault so what is the reason for me to accept that pHone?? I know they are just trying to make me feel better but I will not accept that. It was my own mistake my careless. I couldnt blame anyone.  I swear I’ll never bring handbags to club anymore. I SWEAR THE HELL OUT OF GOD!!~ Besides that,I would like to curse the fellor who stole my stuff. Him/her will hurt their self, broke the leg or arms or  neck/bone!!!!!!!~ Then, when i was dancing at the dance floor, i thought i saw pab dancing but i wasnt wrong. Do i still miss him tats y dere’s alot of all this imagination happen. But i noe i dun miss him. LAStly, I just receive a msg from gong gong. He sms me and it says ” Actually just now i wanna tell u tat i fell in love wit u already, can u giv me a chance??”. Huh?? OmG.. this msg reali freaks me out. What should i do?? I can escape for tonite but not tomOlo rite?? sigh..y he gave me such surprises at tiz time?? I am reali confused.. sad, shocked, tired,speechless,happy and yet unhappy. God..plz help me..i need a break..i realy do!!~

I am very happy today, it’s a public holiday and I went shopping with my mum and aunty. I bought a sandals, somerset bay’s blouse and Guess handbag..wow!!~ That’s so amazing!!~ Besides that, my mum even let me drive. I am driving to the club later. This is the 1st time i drive to club. COOL!!!~ So, can anyone tell me. How could I be unhappy?? I am so thankful…LUV MY MUMMY!!~ muaksss… =P

I just finish preparing my presentation transperancy but i have not read thru what I should present tommorow. I hate to do assignments and presentation. It is stressful. Sigh!!~I am just a scary cat, I’ll be damn shy to stand infront of the class while everyone starts to pay attention and the eyes are staring at me while I talk.  Tommorow is the last presentation and I hope I don’t mess it up badly..haha..Wish me luck..=P

I was checking my myspace just now & i saw that he updated his picture lately, so i was curious. Then, i clicked in to his page and take a lOok at his pictures.  Suddenly I feel that I miss him. I’ve not meet him for a month or 2, or maybe more than that already. I think he still misses his ex. He is the one I used to love the most among all and the one I hate the most. I know I don’t love him anymore but somehow there are still some weird feelings in my heart. The feeling is unexplainable, sometimes i will feel like lOoking at his pic or want to know how is he doing lately. Wanted to know some news about him. But, I really hate myself for doing that. Sigh!!~

Actually I was feeling fine today until when claudia msn me in the afternoon, telling me her prince was lying. He actually do have a gf & he is hiding behind her, she confronted him today and prince still wished to keep the relationship of them by hiding from his gf. How dare he say those words?? It’s so selfish. Then, she told me she felt that she is so SLU**Y when she think back of her act with prince. Holding hands with ppl’s boyfriend. At this moment, she reminds me of myself  n pab. I was so down n miserable. How can i comment about her?? I was even worst. I SUCKED!!~ I hate myself. sigh!!~ I know, no matter how hard i try to forget the clearer it appears in my mind. I’ve learned from my mistakes and i will never repeat it twice. I am phobia, Phobia of having a commitment in a relationship. Phobia of trusting guys, Phobia of loving someone. I am numb. I am hurt, how can i trust any guys now?? They came into my life, tricked me,hurt me and left me in the end. I am disappointed. I’ve had enough. Just want to be alone right now. God bless me!!~

I am feeling moody & sad today because there are 2 things in mind that keeps my mood low. Firstly,I am chatting with him now in msn, he seems to be so moody and i asked him what happened. He told me that he is losing his aunty. He said that his aunty is suffering from breast cancer. She had this sickness 1 year ago and she did not go for treatment, the longest she could stay is less than 6 months. He is mad that his cousins and uncle kept this behind his family and they were the last person to know. But, what to do?? That’s already in the past. All he can do is spend some time with his aunt before she leave. It’s too late for treatments already. So sad to listen about all this. This is what we call, LIFE!!~ Secondly is about my friends. It’s been 3 weeks plus i did not hang out with any of my Subang friends or my bestie either. They are having holidays but I am suffering from my assignments and test. This feeling SUCK. My friends is enjoying the trip to Melaka & Langkawi or even shopping BUT I couldnt join them. All I had to do is study & do preparation.SIGH!!~ Nobody understands this feeling. I am stress!!!~Seriously, I need a break. I want to go to the club and chill myself…Want to shake the stress away….=P

I just sign up for an account here a few minutes ago. I have an account for this Hello Kitty email but I forgotten my email address and password already, because I love Hello Kitty alot so I decide to register for one more account here. hehe..hmm..It’s 3.42am now and I am still awake blogging here. Normally at this time I will be chatting with this guy who i just knew him lately, but just now when i reached home after my yam char session with my girl friend, i messaged him in msn but he did not reply me. I guess he went to bed already. Quite sad about it, haha..Because i wanted to “listen” to him, wanted to chat with him. He cheeer me up with his way of chatting. He got a sense of humor which turns me on 24/7..haha..*Blek* Anyway, here is a few picture of myself.