I’ve been working in TTSH for about 51 days ( 1 month and 21 days). In this short working period, I’ve learn alot of valuable lesson such as

1. How to deal with my relationship problem all by myself, this is the first time I did not call up my bestie to ask them for a shoulder or a listener ear.

2. When you meet a very nasty patient/ customer or colleagues, you must always hold you anger and put on a FAKE smiley face. Be nice to them and never give a chance for them to complain about you.But, when you think you are right, you can always stand up for yourself. DO NOT let them take you for granted.

3. I felt that I am proud of myself because I am earning for my own living now, I pay for all my expenses and I did share abit of my earning with my parents. Is not that I am showing off, but I am just happy that I can proof to my parents that I can earn on my own, and even share with them. I am no more a girl who request for the latest gadgets or attire from them. I can anyhow get it on my own. The satisfaction of getting your own stuff by your own hard earn money is even higher than asking from someone else. In this way, I know I will appreciate more on that goods.
4. I finally realise how frustrating to do the housework all by yourself after a tiring day passed,and no one offers to give you a hand. After the 8 hours of stressful working hour, everyone hope to get home and rest in their clean and tidy house. But when you reach home and sees everything in a mess. The first thing comes to your mind is ANGER, and now I understand why my mum always nag and mumble when she reaches home after work.
5. I,worked in a hospital which I always get to bump into very ill patient. I always show my sympathy to them and try to make them feel better. Sometimes there are some elderly patient who came all the way from their home all alone, without any company from family members. I really do pity them, and I try to give them a hand like talking nicely to them and explain clearly to them what preparation they need to do for the next appointment. So, I know I should do something for my grandparents before it’s too late. I will give them some money to buy things they like or loved, at least I try my best to show them I cared.

We just came back from my aunt’s baby full moon party. Before we went there, we had our late lunch at Mcd. There was an old lady sitting beside me enjoying her ice cream all alone. Age about 60-70plus. Whenever I see all this elderly, I will definately feel pity for them. So, when J came over after purchasing the meal, I story to him. But he just said “aiyah don’t bother bout ppl la,everytime keep on saying all this”. At that moment I was so angry and sad, maybe he felt that I speak too much. But, i doesnt want to argue with him so I just keep in my heart and just shut up.

 Then, we take a bus to my aunt’s house, everything was fine until when we are leaving from City Square. He keep on teasing me and purposely want to raise my temper. I was controlling my temper for once, and twice…until the very last time I get really mad and I doesnt want to speak to him.

He kept on asking me why am I like that, he felt that I am a bad tempered person and get mad easily, why cant I just forget bout it. He was asking me why must I make until the situation like that everytime.

Sometimes I really dont know whether the matter is on me or him.

I know we both are exhausted, I start to think whether we both are really suitable for each other. sigh…

It’s been a long long time since i last update my blog. I’ve started my work in Singapore 1month plus ago, time passes so fast and I am really afraid to say goodbye to my dear.

In this 1 month plus, I faught with him for more than 10times I guessed. A couple of hours ago, we just settle our problems. I felt a little sorry for him for my stubborn attitude, but I hope he understands how much I love him.

I hope in this few months time, we will learn to know more bout each other and be more tolerate.

I notice that things have changed when the 1st day I reach Sunway. I feel so left out when I heard Kit telling Claudia things about he and Adeline (tracy’s friend) which I totally have no idea what was it about. Last time Kit used to tell me his stuff but now seems like someone already replaced me. I am not angry but disappointed.

Just now while I was chatting with Cheng, we talked about the release of result tomorrow and he said that he was afraid he might fail, and I asked him what subject was that and the reply I got was “AIYA YOU DON’T KNOW WAN LA”. SIGH…

I know I did not overact or being too sensitive on this phenomenon. I am really sad to see them treating me like a “HI-BYE” friend. Where were my previous “FRIENDS”?? Seems like I am losing my friends and my previous life. I always thought I am doing good right here until this few days, I know I was wrong.

My clubbing life, my besties, my outing with my clubber friends…WHERE WERE THEY?? I MISS THEM SOOOOO MUCH…I just need them back to me so badly.

My phone used to ring so often while I was in KL but now in SINGAPORE,I only accept calls from 1 person, My boyfriend!!~

Sooner or later I might be an UNKNOWN person to them. Will l?? I just hope they keep me updated time by time but unfortunately things don’t always turn out the way you want.

But I know, things happen for a reason and I truely deeply hope god does not take them away from me because they meant so much to me.

Honestly, I do not know how my life will be after this 7 months here in Singapore. Will I continue my “PLAY HARD STUDY SMART” way or continue the boring lifeless way??

I just hope to paint my life with colours, I want to experience more stuff and not making myself regret. I am only 20 this year and there are plenty of things waiting for me to explore. I am here to seek for the DO WHATEVER I WANT MINDY and never let anything to hold me back.

While I was leaving for Singapore, I felt so sad and yet so happy.  I can get to see my sweetie in 5 hours time and I will not see my family and friends in few months time. I know I will miss my friends family and KL live so much because this is the 1st time I leave KL for so long.

Although I only spend 3 days in KL this time, but I felt so happy and glad. Especially when I first met my mom, I’ve never felt so happy before because this is the 1st time she treated me so well. I know I will miss my parents so much.

But if i think the positive way that I can learn to be independent. As what people said “NO PAIN NO GAIN“. I hope I will get a valuable experience and get to know my sweetie better in this 7 months in Singapore.

I was so worry last night about the job application. I was afraid if there are no reply from any company then I will have to go back to Malaysia. And, this morning I received a call from Tan Tock Seng Hospital and they said that I am shortlisted and ask if I am still keen about the job. I’ve consider about everything and I decide to take the offer. I thought it is better than nothing.

I really don’t want to look for job and get so worry everyday. Might as well just take the offer because it is just a temporary job. I finally can work here and spend a long time with my boyfriend. =D I am so happy…huhu!!~

This is my third week here in Singapore and I am still struggling for a job. I hope I can get good news tomorrow. I am here praying hard to god, Please bless me. =( I am tired but I just cant sleep, I am just too worried. I have only 2 more weeks to go, if I am unable to get a job. Then I think I have to go back to M’sia which I don’t wish to. I want spend my 8 months here with J. I know I will miss him so badly. GOD!!~Plz help me.

I reached Kluang yesterday afternoon. I met his parents and I had my dinner there. Then, we also went for a drink at OZO. There are no clubs in Kluang, only pubs. So, all we can do is just drink and play games. I drank alot last night and I got so drunk until they need to carry me with 3 person. hahaha, that was so embarassing but I did enjoy. Lolx.. there will no be a 2nd time.

Anyway, I miss his mum’s cook. Especially her butter prawn. It was awesome. =) And, I am glad to meet his parents. His mum is friendly. hehe..=)

I just finish my paper yesterday and I am rushing to Singapore today to prepare myself for my interview on Monday.

I bought a bus ticket from a ticketing agent but he gave me the wrong ticket. I wanted a 12pm afternoon bus but he gave me a 12am morning bus. I went all the way to Bukit Jalil only I notice my ticket is a 12am bus. I was so frust and I have to go all the way back to Subang and change it. But the bus for afternoon is already sold out. So, he refund me.

Then, I went back to Bukit Jalil to get a bus ticket. I was lucky. I got a 1.30pm bus ticket.

While I was concentrating in my studies, suddenly an unknown number called me and I thought it would be my mum. Who knows, it was KENNETH!!~ Gosh…He asked if I know who is him? I answer I don’t know. And he says that he is my bf. I said my bf does not speak cantonese and so, I asked him why did he call. He says that he just drop by to say hi.

If this scene happen 2 years ago, my feelings would be extremely happy and excited. But today, my feelings can be described as USUAL. I know I have already let him go long ago. I know I will not go back to him.

I know Kenneth too well already. Whenever he calls, there must be some reason behind. The naive mindy has gone away, and Kenneth will never get the chance to cheat on her again.

He does not worth my time my effort or my money. I can still treat him as a friend, but if I found out he is trying to take me for granted. I am gonna say BYE BYE.

 I hope J will not feel sad when he knows that I did chat with him on the phone jus now. I have avoided him for 2 months already and I really didnt expect him to ring my cellphone.

I’ve tried tying myself up and avoid from clubbing. I thought I was doing great but now I know I am not. Clubbing is still my heart, I don’t know how long it will be but I know I cant live without it now.

Here am I wondering, if he want me to pick either clubbing or him. What will my decision be??

I just need a dance floor, a Rnb song and the lights off to shake my stress off. Why is that so difficult?? I am not those dirty flirty slutty girl. I just need to release my stress and this is the only place I can make myself feel better.

I don’t want to lose him as well, I really love him. But, we are apart. And I know he don’t really like it to club without him. Whenever he mention about the duration we can stay, it really freaks me off. Or maybe I should say I am the one avoiding this question.

I did not think I will give up him easily, I just put in my heart and soul. But, I cant understand why is he worrying so much. I know it’s my fault but I just cant help myself.

I really hope everything can run smoothly. It’s not easy to have 2 person in love with each other at the same time.

He told me that if I continue to stay like that, it will only brings me lots of problems not only now but also in future.  When I was watching a show, I notice an actress’s character was exactly the same like me. Now I know how terrible is my attitude. =(

I was reading an email about the sanitary napkins/pad that we all( ladies) always use.

IF u ever wondered what were the ingredients that made popular brands so
‘free! and light and carefree’, well here’s the bit:

The material that makes the pad so paper THIN, is cellulose gel. YEap,
it’s not even cotton!!!!!!

DO NOT wear the same pad for more than 3 hours of a maximum!!! After
this duration, the genital area is prone to bacterial action and may
result in cervical cancer or other complications!!!!!!!!!!

REMEMBER! NEVER NEVER NEVER

 WEAR THE SAME PAD FOR MORE

 THAN 3 HOURS!!!!

Have you heard that tampon makers include asbestos in
tampons? Why would they do this?

Because asbestos makes you bleed more, if you bleed more, you’re going
to need to use more. Why isn’t this against the law since asbestos is so
dangerous? Because the powers that be, in all their wisdom (not), did
not consider tampons as being ingested, and, therefore, didn’t consider
them illegal or dangerous.

Tampons contain two things that are potentially harmf ul: Rayon (for
absorbency), and dioxin (a chemical used in bleaching the products). The
tampon industry is convinced that we, as women, need bleached white
products in order to view the product as pure and clean. The problem
here is that the dioxin, which is produced in this bleaching process,
can lead to very harmful problems for a woman. Dioxin is potentially
carcinogenic cancer-associated)and is toxic to the immune and
reproductive systems. It has also been linked to endometriosis and lower
sperm counts for men. For both sexes, it breaks down the immune system.

I left only 9 days to finish my revision for my final paper, but there are too many negative externalities. I just cant concentrate. ARGH!!!~

I don’t have any choice. Choice is nothing to me because no matter what I must pass this paper. I don’t want to screw up everything.

I am so afraid… Is there anything I can do to make myself concentrate?? Whenever I look at the paper, my mind just go . I just need to suffer for another 9 more days then I will be FREEEEE!!!~

We had a misunderstanding again just now. He says that he just cant put those feelings away and I thought it was so unfair to me. I did not know that I explained so much and I made him misunderstand even more. I start to wonder, am I doing too much??

I thought I can make things more clear, less misunderstanding after I explain so much. But I was wrong. I always tell him the truth but this is what I got in the end??

This is turning into something that I want to hip to.

I am not blaming him, but I am just sad and disappointed. Now I finally know how hard is he trying to make me smile everytime when we argue.

I am trying to be understanding this time. I am trying REAL HARD. I am a impatient person, this time I did not screw him up it’s consider good enough already. Because I love him. I am learning how to hold my anger. I am glad I am doing well.

今日Warwick約咗我, Jess 同Adeline饮茶. 原本想study唔想出街,不過Warwick 话拜六要去Birmingham 喔,咁所以我就答应咗佢.

 初初我地去到SS18 Bazaar 买D野食, 跟住去SUKU 饮茶.

我地好耐冇一齊食飯,饮茶,講笑囉.不過大家仍然有點似當年話今日懷念講d搞笑事.

後來轉眼過咗2Hours, 我就諗住走. 佢地都话Okie. Warwick就送我返先.

今日既mood唔好, 宜家諗到自己問題多到發癲.

你估我真咁鍾意諗咩??

Final exam 期又到啦,不過冇信心有冇得Pass. Jie 話咪成日Online, 要记得Study. Exam 搞到我日日瞓得唔好. 气死我啦!

新加坡D工唔知得冇得到, 又冇叫我去 Interview. 

又唔用E-MAIL通知人!!!  想我點呀 ??? =(

想整死我咩??

I just came back from steamboat and movie with jess and cheng. When I got home, the first thing in my mind is to on my msn to see my sweetie. But he did not reply me so I thought he was sleeping. I rang him and he picked up, answered me with a sleepy voice. He says that he is sleeping so I just wish him goodnight.

He suddenly bump up infront of my screen, I thought he wanted to chat but he says he want to get back to sleep. I felt so sad and lonely in a sudden. I don’t know why. It’s hard to explain. I finally understand how it feels to be alone infront of the screen. I just miss him soooooooooooo much!!!!!!!!~ =’(

I was looking through my friendster and I click on Cheng’s account. I saw his convocation pictures. I really wish I could turn back time so I will not fail my FOA.Everyone is going futher for Advance or even Degree but I am still wasting my time here resiting this stupid paper.

 I miss my days in DMK. I have the best classmates, best coursemate and even the best hang out gang. They were helpful, supportive, funny, outgoing, caring, cooperative and the most important thing is we share the bads n goods. Aint like the other groups, they gossips among each other. I felt so lucky that I was arranged to be in this group.

At first I don’t really stick with those girls because I am not really welcome by them. I’ve always have my gang which is with the guys. They treated me like their buddy and they took care of me very well. Althought they always insult me but I know they are just trying to make fun of me. Later on, I get along quite well with the girls and I found out they are not as bad as I thought.

Besides that, I get to know a few guys from group 3. They treated me very well too. We always study in a group at Boy’s house whenever finals is around the corner. We even go clubs together. hehehe..

I really miss those days with DMK 1 and 3. Those time when we used to giggle and burst of laughing in class. If I have a second chance to choose, I will definately choose DMK 1 also.

 Just one word for DMK group 1..they are AWESOME!!!~

Far distance relationship is really hard to keep. Maybe you guys can only meet once in few months. That is really hard!!!!~so so so so hard…You cant meet when you miss your partner, cant hug, kiss or even spend time for the mall. You cant be like the normal couples, spend time with partner for most of the time.

Far distance relationship needs alot of toleration, trust and understanding. Now I finally understand how tough it is. You just have to control ur feelings. When you feel like hugging or kissing your partner, you know you cant have it. That’s so sad..sigh…=(

It’s a beautiful Sunday today, and it’s Malaysia celebrating the 51st Independent Day. Adeline’s bf house were having party and he invited us. After that, he invited CE to come over for Chivas 18 years. Places which have alcohol, CE will most probably turn up. Lolx…He forced us to finish the 1Litre Chivas. 7 of us get so tipsy and need me to say more? Jess got damn drunk..hahaha… But we did have fun. A stressful week must have a booze or 2 to chill n relax ourselve.

Here are some pictures taken that night.

HUNYAN AND I..It’s been a long time since I last meet him..about 7 months I guess…

ADELINE AND I…=)

Can you see jess is totally K.O?? lolx…Adeline is messing with her..haha

Ever since I flip through his past, I get very sensitive with his words. I know, he has been explaining that he have nothing to do with her anymore but somehow I still have a torn in my heart.I have no idea is it normal to feel so. It will never helps if I keep on holding this issue in our relationship, it will make it worst. But, of cause I’ve tried my best to flush it off my mind. Trust me, I am trying so hard. Maybe I just need time, or maybe I over reacted on an issue which is not crucial.

Maybe he is right, I shouldnt bring up so many problems. It is making two parties feel exhausted. I am thinking bout it and I will change.

I wrote this for my sweetheart to show him how much I miss him. =)

2008,Nov 16 he says Hie,
I fell in love with this guy,
His name is Wee Zai,
I just cant take him off my eyes,
I just turn so shy,
& my heart beat rise,
We promised there will be no lies,
I’ll try to change my vice,
One two three four five,
Our love never dies.

I couldnt sleep and so i decide to click through the net. I found this 2 picture accidently. Hmm…what should I say?? I am speechless though.

 On 22 of august, when i was cleaning his room. Coinciddently,I found a box full of his ex stuff. My curiosity was so strong and i just cant help myself from flipping all those stuff. I know I am breaking his privacy but…sigh..i just couldnt help myself. I know I am too much and I was sorry. I don’t know why my tears shed when I am reading those stuff. Just felt so miserable and words just couldnt explain how I felt. The feeling was so strong and it’s painful to me. I don’t have the guts to speak to him face to face because I am afraid my tears might just shed infront of him. I know those are the past but I still feel something inside me.

Today, when I was about to leave for Sunway. He hurt my heart with just a sentence “there’s alot of things you do not know”. I felt so sad and heart broken. How would I know if he does not tells??

Anyway,he already explain everything and I felt better right now. I am glad he still cares how I feel. I don’t want to give up so easily because I still love him.

It’s my 20th birthday today. August 20, 2008. Or we could say 20/08/2008. What a lucky number. All comes in 20!!!!!!!!~Hehe…I enjyoyed myself today and I had a simple but sweet memorable birthday. My b took leave today just to keep me accompany. I was touched and thankful. We spend our day in town (Singapore) from 1pm-10pm.

First, we go for lunch at Pepper Lunch

and then went for a movie at Cathay.

Then J says that he is tempted by ice cream waffles and so we went for one.

 After that, we decided to go to the East Coast with the cupcakes bought from Central.

We were relaxing by the beach side, listening to the waves and blowing the strong wind. It was so comfortable and I had a flashback of the moment while I was in Redang. Later on, both of us wanted to get a light meal before we left the town, so we went for some western food.

Although everything sounds normal but actually a simple day out it’s enough for me as long as I am celebrating my birthday with my special one.

This my my birthday gift for my lovely sweetheart…(”,)

THANX ALOT SWEETIE..=)

Today was my first day of period. We are suppose to go to JB after J finish work but I was in agony. I almost faint in the toilet. I do not know why this time I experience this kind of pain. J took care of me and he sent me to the doctor. I was quite guilty to screw up our plan. After dinner, I felt better so we went to Mustafar and have a walk. I felt lucky because J was with me while I was sick.

I reached Singapore at 4pm yesterday. I felt so excited and happy because i can finally meet my sweetie. =) He came to pick me up when i reached and we went for dinner near Woodlands checkpoint. Then, we went to get some groceries at cold storage. We bought 10 packs of Lay’s. haha…I LOVE LAY’S!!!~

Today, we went to Orchard Road to get a pair of Havaianas and went to Shaw cinema.

We watched Journey to the center of the earth. One thing good about that cinema is, they hired senior citizen to collect the tickets.It’s an easy job and i thought it’s good for them so that they can spend their free time work and earn some extra money. Isnt that a good idea?? I was quite touched after seeing that.

After movie, we went outside of the Shaw building and have a drink at Mccafe.

6 of us..3 couples

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This is the second time meeting his friends. There were some misunderstanding after the 1st time we met, so I was quite nervous before meeting them today. Somehow it was the 1st time I chat with them so I was quite shy at the beginning. But, things did not turn out badly, they were quite friendly and nice.

We started at Times Square Starbucks then left for Sakae Sushi, Pavilion at 8.30pm. We thought the night is still young and we did not feel like going home, so we had a plan for club. Ended up at Poppy. Everything just turn up so nice and smooth..

Today is a day to remember because this is the first time I brought him to my house. I have not felt this way before, the feeling is just so complicated. Although he just spend a few minutes with my parents but I hope they know who am I dating.

I know the efford he is putting in and I am really thankful and glad.

I always wanted a nice and beautiful nose. Beside injections and plastic surgery, what other ways can I use?? Can anyone tell me??

The passed few months, I saw this “NOSE UP” accessory selling for Rm39.90 and guess what?? I was able to buy the same product for only  

Rm2.50!!!~

YES!!~ is Rm 2. 50.

I am not sure whether it is effective but no harm trying right??

This is the way we spend our free time. Holding the mic,open our throat and SING!!!~ =)

I just came back from Genting Klang. I am very tired but yet I am very happy because although only 18 people attend but we still have fun.

V really enjoyed ourself because it’s been a long long time we did not meet up and joke around. This gathering was organized by me and it’s consider a successful party.

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Some of them are busy eating while we are busy taking pictures. Well, you know la, GIRRRLLLSSS!!~ (”,)

(Left to right,Pic above) San, Jie and me

Cheng and I

We are the CRAZIEST Marketing student ever..hehehe..I miss our 2 years memories…

Sometimes things happen for a reason and if you put it in the positive way, you might feel better. But, that does not mean you won’t feel bad at the same time. It depends on how you deal with the problem. In the matter of fact, people will surely feel bad and miserable first then only they try to figure out a way to make themself  feel better. I, personally will feel miserable and sad for just a small little things and I am trying to think positive, it makes me feel better and not over obsess.Or, I could say I am very low in my EQ. =(

WHAT IS AN EQ??

EQ is Emotional Intelligence Quotient and it is used to measure Emotional Intelligence. EQ describes an ABILITY, CAPACITY, or SKILL to perceive and manage the EMOTIONS of one’s self or others.

How would you feel when your bestie hide something from you?? How would you feel when you found out you are the very last to know?? I am trying my best to advise myself, telling myself not to take this too serious. Maybe I should learn how to take things easy.

WHAT IS THE GOSSIP GIRL TV SERIES ABOUT??

–> Gossip Girl talkes about the upper-class privilege and wealth of prep school teens on Manhattan’s Upper East Side — a world where secrets are hard to keep with the all-knowing Gossip Girl , a blogger with an unknown identity, following and recording their every move.

FEATURING:-

Blake Lively as Serena Van Der Woodsen

Lighton Mester as Blair Waldorf

Taylor Momsen as Jenny Humphrey

 Keeping track of the shifting friendships, jealousies and turmoil in this wealthy and complex world isn’t easy, but it’s what Gossip Girl does best.

THAT’S WHY EVERYONE LOVES

x0×0: Gossip Girl

Chace Crawford as Nate Archibald ( yeah I know He is cute!!)

Ed Westwick as Chuck Bass

Penn Badgley as Dan Humphrey

The reason I adore GOSSIP GIRL is bcause it is scandalous, Glamourous and the characters are SIZZLING HOT and GORGEOUS. I believe every one of us would like to be like one of the characters, which have a perfect life, partner and friends. And not forgetting: POPULAR!!!!~

There’s a “GOSSIP GIRL” living inside every one of us….(”,)

This is the 1 and only pic we both take. Yeah it’s kinda weird but that’s the fact. Maybe he doesnt want anyone to know about us. Yesterday he called me in a sudden, asking me can I pick him up from Pudu. Well, I am not a driver or a slave you know? Why am I suppose to go to you whenever you need me?? I am not the silly girl anymore. And so I decided to ignore his call and messages and went to bed.

The weird thing is, I had a dream about him last night. I was hospitalise due to cancer in that dream. And my friend King brought him out and speak to him. Asked him to treat me better as I am “LEAVING” soon. (TOUCHWOOD!!!) He really did treat me better after that, but it was just a dream. When I was awake, I saw his message, asking me whether wanna go out for a drink last night. It’s weird isn’t it?? Everything happened in a sudden. I doubt he really want to have a drink with me.

But, I don’t have the intention to reply him because I want him to know I am MYSELF, for now and forever.

The twin brother and us, hanging out at Sunway Pyramid for dinner. Then, We continue our second round with CE and friends to Cineleisure for movie. We wanted to watch X-Files but it’s full!!~ So we were forced to watch Kung Fu Hip Hop. It was disappointing. Especially the last part when Jordan held his whole body with 1 THUMB!!! It’s really ridiculous…I should have save that 10bucks for another better movie. =(

I did not sleep well because my mind is turning round and round. This is what we call STRESS!!!~ The worst part was when I get to sleep then I had nightmare. What is the nightmare about??

Hmm..it’s about Jess. I dreamed about her, telling Ade about her stuff and Raymond. She even remind Ade not to tell me because I cannot be trusted, I will spread news around. Then, in the morning when I woke up. I felt so real. But, honestly, I am really scared if Jess really thinks I’m like that. I would definately get a heart broken. I hope it’s not real and it’s just a dream.. It makes my day so miserable again…sigh…

Anyway, I’ve already think about yesterday’s problem and I have my answer in mind. I am confirm with my answer because I notice I really need him by my side..cause I loved him..

Birthday celebration of Hao and Kit at Coco Banana tonight is a must for me to attend, because they  meant alot to me. I was alone just now because all my girls did not turn up. The others are searching for partners and own entertainment. But I was sitting there and drink. The one I did not expected suddenly turned up.

When party begins, people start to get high and shake their asses. Dirty dance is definately included. Then the so called “MK”  went to the dance floor and get wet. Dancing like it’s no one’s business.

Have you ever felt happy and miserable at the same time?? The mood was totally in a mess. It was simple and yet so complicated. I should really get rid of this. I thought I’ve gone thru this all this while but I finally notice I am not. I am still standing at the same old position. Maybe I should learn how to appreciate what I have and be satisfied, Never ever demand too much. Since I know things so clearly then I shouldn’t let myself repeat the same mistake. When desire are impossible to achieve and dreams are impossible to reach, then you should learn how to let go. There are lots of things in this world that you can’t have it all. Being greedy will only bring you ZERO in the end!!~ Never play games with a player who can play better.

I have a story to share…

There’s a retarded bird learned how to fly, during the learning period, it fell for a few times. It hurts alot but the bird really enjoy the feeling of flying in the air. Then, now the bird is afraid of making the first move to fly again because this time it might break it’s wing and she will never be able to fly again. She can only stay in her nest now.. so, Will you choose for a short excitement with pains or a smooth and easy live??

BEFORE PARTY..

WHILE PARTYING…

AFTER PARTY!!!~

KIT IS DRUNK…(I know I know, it looks horrible..)

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Another drunk man..ah bee..

On Monday, I’ve already sense that J and Ray got some problem but I wished I was wrong. But unfortunately, it already happen. They broked up on saturday night after Genting. I don’t know is it whether D broked up that’s why J also thought of ending up her relationship. Ray is explaining to me, he says that he is sorry for J. He really got no time for her and this few days already left her out.

I just don’t know why am I crying for J. I can imagine the pain she is going thru. I know how hard is she handling her feelings, she looks tough on the outside but definately not in the inside. She always keep things by her own. I just hope she can share her sorrow with us. She know we will always be there for her, and will always have a shoulder for her to lean on. She has been crying for the past few days and we are still clueless.

I text her just now and she is still act nothing, I told her I’ve already know everything and she told me she is as strong as I thought. She’s the one broke up but the silly me is crying for her. This has not happen in my life before, maybe this shows how much I care for her.

If you looked inside a girl, you would see how much she cries, you would find so many secrets and lots of lies but what you’ll see the most is how hard it is to stay strong when nothing is right and everything is wrong.

I am just sad. I didnt want this to happen to my friends.
1ST- D
then,
2ND- J

Who’s gonna be next?? Will it be Ade?? She’ve been complaining bout her relationship. I really don’t wish to see this.

I am an emotional girl. Even a small little things can make my day turn grey. That’s what happen today. My mood can easily be affected by my loves one. I really care for my besties because they are the one who make me who I am today. I will never trade them for anything.

My little princess Wing Sze went back to Germany on the 15. I really miss her. This little girl has a mixture of Hong Kee and Malaysian blood. And she was born in Germany. Here is a few picture of her when came to Malaysia for her holidays.

 When she is the age of 3

SHE IS ADORABLE ISNT IT???

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SHE LOVE THIS LIL PUPPY ALOT, SHE ASKED IF SHE COULD BRING HER BACK TO GERMANY..haha..

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WE WERE IN PIZZA HUT, HAVING OUR LUNCH..=)

 HER FAVOURITE PASS TIME, EATTTTTT!!!~ hahaha…Anyone notice there’s a little flower on her head?? =P

 3Hours BEFORE she left for Germany….

Yesterday we had a bbq party at pendek’s clubhouse. It was quite fun because Denise can hardly join us. She drove her Mazda MX-5 to the clubhouse. I got the chance to bump in to her car and went around LDP highway. The feeling was AWESOME!!!~While we are enjoying the food, suddenly Adeline brought out some chocolate cupcakes and put on candles, then she gave me everything. And the sang birthday song to me. My birthday is 1 month ahead LERR..lolx..Because we can hardly gather like that, that’s why they celebrate an advance birthday for me. I am quite touched althought they are rude to me, they don’t even give me the chance to make my birthday wishes then they already snatch all those cupcakes and eat it. Lolx..I AM THE BIRTHDAY GIRL k?? no respect at all..sigh =P. I am still happy for the effort they put in..=) *giggles*

 Then, the bbq held for about 4 hours plus. Adeline suggested to go Genting after the BBQ. All of us agreed, including Denise. Denise seldom join us, at first she planned to go find Ruca after the BBQ but she sacrifice for Adeline.  I thought it might be another memorable night but who knows, Ruca suddenly called Denise and say he wants to end the relationship. SIGH!!~ Y must he say this now?? It’’s not the right time man..Althought I am happy today but I feel bad for Denise. I know she sure cry alone at home. But I know Denise is strong enough to handle this. What can the girls do?? Just to pray hard and bless hard for her. I just hope Denise know that actually ME, J, A, and C really cares for her and she can just ring us anytime when they need us…

Love my girls and thanx alot everyone who wished me yesterday..hehe..MUAXX!!~ (”,)

Yesterday while I was with Kit hao and claudia, suddenly claudia told me actually Kit do contact wit “her“. I was shocked and kinda curious, so i looked thru Kit’s hp. I found out actually “she” did volunteer to join Kit they all for a drink or something. I really didn’t know “SHe” would do that.But honestly it’s none of my business so I will just act like I don’t know anything.

Actually I was a little sad because last time me and Kit used to talk about EVERYTHING…I mean EVERYTHING!!!!~ But unfortunately, now he keep everything to himself. Now I know actually he knows alot of stuff but he just don’t want to show it. I was quite happy when Kit told me I did changed alot after I hooked up wit Jye. He says that I am a loyal and behave gf. I did not club, did not smoke did not drink now and less night outing also. I don’t know whether this is a good thing or not because it seems like I am changing to a different person which I am not. I don’t want to rely on jye, I want to be independent and I don’t want to act like someone else. I just want to be myself. An hour ago, I told Jye yesterday we played kissing game and he sounds a little unhappy and I know I shouldnt have done this. But it’s just a game and this are the things MINDY do..I am crazy fun and outgoing but now, I am just like daddy’s girl. The PROTECTED one. sigh!!~  Now I know how difficult to maintain both friendship and relationship. I know I should not play those games since I am no longer single, but I just want to be sporting. Even Alicia and Ridzuan(couple) played with us.

I just don’t know why I felt like crying when I heard Jye say he miss me. Maybe I felt sorry for him?? I have no idea. I just feel so down now. Maybe I am too selfish, it seems like I am doing things that satisfy myself and did now aware of my partner’s feelings. Am I doing the right thing??

Tonight, there will be a BBQ party going on at Pendek’s clubhouse. I just don’t feel like going suddenly. Just feel like staying at home, listen to the music and get some rest. I just feel like chilling my mind. I am really stress..I have too much worries. I was wondering, how can D just hang out only wit R?? She just stick to him 24/7, how did she do that?? I was quite impress actually. She can just forget about us sometimes. But, as long as she is happy, the girls would be happy for her too. The 5 of our heart always stick together will do.

Althought I am very close with the 4 of them, but sometimes I would rather keep my deep feelings inside. I just don’t know how to speak out sometime. Sometimes you just need to solve your own little matter by yourself. I’ve been so dependent all this while and I should grow up now. Why am I writing an “ESSAY” now is because I really don’t know who else to turn to. I need a patient and good listener, Yes!!~ my little hello kitty. I am having a MISERABLE day. sigh..=(

It’s 5.06am now and it is officially July 19 today. I just arrive home 30minutes ago after my supper at Silva. At first I went for dinner with Claudia,kit,Hao,chinren and Dilian at Asia cafe. That was nothing special, actually we planned to catch up a movie after dinner but unfortunately the movie we wanted to watch is all FULL!!~ So, Chinren and Kit planned to drink(alcohol) at somewhere nearby. At last they set the venue at Ah bee’s house. Claudia does not want to join so Kit brought her home.

Bee,Kit,Hao,Me,Dilian,Alicia and Rizuan hang out at Ah bee’s house since 11pm. It started with some drinks and shots, then chin ren suggested to play some games. We played Big fish small fish, 007 and Kissing game. It was totally crazy and yet it’s fun!!!!!!~ Chin ren was the biggest loser of the big fish small fish game.He is really silly and his mind move really slow,Luckily he is there to cover my place or else I think I might be the biggest loser..hahaha..Chin ren got drunk because he lost continuosly 4-5times..hahahaha

 While the kissing game, nobody lose or win. But we need to kiss the person who have the same number like urs!!~ yeah I did get to kiss guy and girls but it’s just a GAMMMMEE!!!~ SO, no big deal bout it..even Alicia and Rizuan are couple but they are sporting too. Let’s give a clap to them =). We started with kissing at the cheeck, and they want something more challenging, so we moved on to lips-to-lips!! (”,) I get to kiss every each of them..LOLX!!! And same goes to them, the sweetest part was when alicia and Rizuan both got the same number, They were asked to FRENCH kiss infront of us..hahaha… And the funniest part was when Kit and Chinren need to kiss infront of us..CHin ren is really cute and he is really a joker to me.. =P 

Time passes fast, We spent about 4 hours at Bee’s house but it seems like an hour to us. It was really fun and memorable..hehehe…it’s been a long time I did not burst out laughing like no one is around. I think I almost lost an inch at my tummy for the vibration from my laughter…hahahahhahahahaha                                                                                             

kGOOD MORNING to everyone…I recovered from my fever and I felt luckily for not having a Dengue fever. But unfortunately, I still have a little sore throat. Well, I hope it won’t bother me for too long. It’s sooooo painful. I cant even swallow my own saliva!!!~ omg…what the hell is going on..

This morning when I woke up, I found myself having high fever. It just come so sudden. I really feel so dizzy and warm. Then, I took a hot bath and took 2 panadols before I went to bed and rest. I don’t want to fall sick because I still need to work tomorrow and having a BBQ party on saturday.. ARGHH!!~

My mum even suspect I got Dengue fever. I was so afraid. Anyway, I do feel painful on my bones. Oh god..plz don’t.!!~ I really don’t want a Dengue fever. It’s really torturing…god bless!!~ =(

This is the dengue mosquito

Do you people agree with “HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY“?? Last time I do agree with this, but now I don’t really agree with this. why?? Because sometime it’s better to tell white lies than being honest. An hour ago, J rang me. We were chatting happily and suddenly he bump out a question asking me have I ever *MUAX* a guy in the club. Well, last time I used to be a hardcore party people and everything I do is just from my heart. I just do whatever I want. Kissing a guy in the club wasnt a big deal for me and yes!! that guy is an european.When I am answering J, I was thinking of hiding this issue because I know he might think I am toooo openminded and bitchy. But unfortunately, the voice inside me is pushing me to tell the truth and so I did. It happened 4 years ago and I can swear to god that it was my first and the last time. I know, J don’t really trust me now and I am quite disappointed. After I came back from Singapore, I did not go to clubs. It’s because I want to gain trust from him and at the same time I do not want his friend to think I am a party hard people. I know it’s time to change, change to turn up in the club lesser because I am no longer single. It’s all about RESPECT.But, my honesty break down all my efforts . I don’t know whether I did the right thing just now. Or maybe if I did not tell him the truth just now, I can gain a little more trust from him?? 

 RESPECTing your partner is important. Last time when I am still with Pab, I notice that we both did not take the effort to respect each other and did not communicate well. He is a muslim(no pork) and I am a buddhist(no beef). He is not allow to eat pork and he was hoping that I do not take pork before our date. I was quite annoyed by the way he tells me, I thought he should be pay some respect to me. I admit I am a stubborn person. If he did not tell me that, I might have done it by my own. But after he told me that, I felt like he is forcing me so I respond in a impolite way. I was like “Okie, I did not take pork infront of you and you did took beef infront of me. Maybe you should pay a little respect to me. I think I am kind enough to not munching pork infront you!!“  Maybe if we both really do communicate well, we will not have this kind of conflict. I’ve learned from my mistake and that’s why I am respecting J and do things that are not beyong his limit. But after all this effort, what I gained is NOTHING. This really make me tears. Honestly, it does. =’(

Just now while I was checking my friendster, I saw Wei Chien updated his profile and I was curious about his lately activities, so I decided to view his profile. I found nothing special in his page but his blog reminds me of the past. After that incident, we did not speak to each other until TODAY!!!~ I’ve tried so many remedies but none of it seem to work. All this while I do not feel good, the feeling of losing a friend is really uncomfortable. He can just treat me like I’m invisible, so I did the same. I know my personality is a little like his. Last time I used to think, if he don’t apologize or speak to me, I won’t neither. But now I know I really care for this friend, should I make the first move and speak to him AGAIN?? sigh..Maybe I should try for the one last time. I’ve already put down my ego and speak to him. I hope he don’t take me for granted.Everything has a limit, and my patient too.

I just reached home from an outing with my chiqs and junior. Me, D, Jess,Clau went to Sushi King just now for dinner, and we went to visit R at the same time. Well, he is a training manager there and so he served us. We ate like a hungry ghost…hmmm…I guess we ate about 15-20plates of sushi and it cost us only Rm50. Don’t ask me why..you should know why. haha..=P

this is just the beginning..after that we reorder again n again…=P

After that, Digimon and A came and fetch us. We are going for dessert with ce and Allan. It took us about 20minutes to Klang for just a bowl of “Tong Yuen”. Then, ce complaint that he is hungry. So, we decided to accompany him for dinner and we drove all the way back to Subang again. It seems like the price hike of petrol is not a matter to them. Lolx. Although it’s not a special outing but I still feel happy.

Then, this evening. J told me that his family members know about me and him. He says that they comment about me,saying that I am chubby, playful and etc… His brother did ask him don’t we feel difficult to maintain this long distance relationship. Well, what I thought is maybe they are in doubt about me. They might think I am playful and just want to try something new,but all I can do is to prove to them by action. I know J care for my feelings and he thought I mind what his family comment about me, I wasnt sad or disappointed.Indeed, I am glad that his family did not say anything harsh. That’s good enough for me already.(”,) Although I am a little afraid of meeting his family but I am really looking forward to meet them.

Just now I sms my tequila ex supervisor and asked next week when can I work. He told me that I only need to work for 2 days next week. It really freaks me off because I really need that job although i really hate it. But that’s the only job that I can work for short hours and get a higher pay. I am struggling now as I am afraid i might not get enough cash for my trip. Sigh..i am confuse and clueless…sigh..=’(

Well, everyone knows we cant live without $$$. Money is not everything but it is SOMETHING!!!~ I planned to visit Singapore on August. I will be spending 3 weeks there and will be back after my birthday. Now, the only problem is my purse. I think that 3 weeks will really burn my pocket a hole. I’m searching for jobs that are high pay and short working hours as i need to study for my finals. I don’t want to complain all this to Jye because I trouble him too much d..He spent too much on me and his financial is tight this month.

Sigh..i really need to deal with my own problem this time..=’(