I’m listening to “Far Behind” by Candlebox and it’s nolstalgic:(  Listening to this song makes me realize just how far I’ve come.  I’m open about my past and willing to share so I won’t have any fear about emphasizing.  When I was 15 (a BABY) I decided that it would be a good idea to try the drug ecstasy:( BIG MISTAKE!  Anyways, this song was playing on the radio and I was riding in the car with some people that I don’t remember well because they were summer-trouble friends.  Anyways, it’s really the last thing that I remember before the ecstasy kicked in and all hell broke loose!

It’s funny because Sara 7 months pregnant with Abby.  I put her and Dad through hell and now she is threatening to call me and bother me around my 6th and 7th month to give me a taste of my own medicine.  Ha, not looking forward to it.

Anyways, I guess the point I am getting at is that I never thought that I would end up here: 29 years old, married to a wonderful & kind man for 4.5 years, 2 months pregnant, healthy, and ALIVE and on a Hello Kitty Blog.  It’s so amazing how hard we can make life when we are growing up - as if life didn’t have it’s own problems already.  I don’t even know what was the root of all my pain but it was there and it was real.  Guess it was a God-sized hole….and a baby hole.  I wanted a baby since I was 15 years old.  SCARY!!!!!

Anyways, now that I’ve disclosed a bit much I will close out for now.  I may be back if my lovely insomnia keeps me going.  I stayed up until 4 a.m. this morning watching The X-Files because I couldn’t sleep.  Sid was so sweet - at 3 a.m. he came in and watched the last episode with me…then we were off to dreamland:)

Good night….I hope:)
Mindy

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