I’m listening to “Far Behind” by Candlebox and it’s nolstalgic:(  Listening to this song makes me realize just how far I’ve come.  I’m open about my past and willing to share so I won’t have any fear about emphasizing.  When I was 15 (a BABY) I decided that it would be a good idea to try the drug ecstasy:( BIG MISTAKE!  Anyways, this song was playing on the radio and I was riding in the car with some people that I don’t remember well because they were summer-trouble friends.  Anyways, it’s really the last thing that I remember before the ecstasy kicked in and all hell broke loose!

It’s funny because Sara 7 months pregnant with Abby.  I put her and Dad through hell and now she is threatening to call me and bother me around my 6th and 7th month to give me a taste of my own medicine.  Ha, not looking forward to it.

Anyways, I guess the point I am getting at is that I never thought that I would end up here: 29 years old, married to a wonderful & kind man for 4.5 years, 2 months pregnant, healthy, and ALIVE and on a Hello Kitty Blog.  It’s so amazing how hard we can make life when we are growing up - as if life didn’t have it’s own problems already.  I don’t even know what was the root of all my pain but it was there and it was real.  Guess it was a God-sized hole….and a baby hole.  I wanted a baby since I was 15 years old.  SCARY!!!!!

Anyways, now that I’ve disclosed a bit much I will close out for now.  I may be back if my lovely insomnia keeps me going.  I stayed up until 4 a.m. this morning watching The X-Files because I couldn’t sleep.  Sid was so sweet - at 3 a.m. he came in and watched the last episode with me…then we were off to dreamland:)

Good night….I hope:)
Mindy

Soooo….taking off time from work lends itself to lots of couch time:) I started school and it is completely online so it is a lot of work! Basically I have several assignments due on the 3rd, 5th, and 7th day of each week.  Weekends aren’t counted, so I stay busy. Plus, I’m still working on my research study.  That takes up a lot of time as well.  I just haven’t figured out a way to let my job know that I will be leaving. I love(d) working there, but it’s too much. Sitting in group for 6 hours a day, on certain days….basically a total of 19 hrs Monday-Thursday of group time.  That doesn’t include all the time spent with clients individually or developing their treatment plans and all the lovely paperwork involved.  Why did I go to school for this?

Once again I am sleepy today, I wish that I could be awake.  I actually got myself up early today - 10:20 a.m. That is early for me lately. Usually I am an early person, but not anymore. I like to get as much sleep as possible when I can. I think I want to take a nap now:)

Today starts the 8th week and I wonder what symptom I am going to start experiencing today.  On the day of the 6th week I started to feel nausea and be repulsed by certain smells.  On the day of the 7th week I started to feel increasing nausea, fatigue, sore breasts (sorry guys), intense smells (I can’t stand the smell of my hair), and basically all the feelings you get when you’ve had way too much to drink the night before!

Regardless, I embrace all the symptoms because they make me feel like the pregnancy is progressing properly. 

I haven’t really had the emotional ups and downs yet (I am not complaining).  For the most part, I find myself trying to be positive and cheerful for me and for my hubby.  I believe that our baby can sense emotion and I want to try as possibly hard as possible to maintain a positive attitude.  I know that all you experienced mothers out there are laughing at my optimism right now:)

I have my first prenatal visit on Tuesday, March 18th at 10:40 a.m. and we are excited.  Sid and my mom will be there with me:)  I am so happy to have a wonderful family to experience this with.  I am happy to know that I have been blessed with an amazing family who all love each other and support each other:)

I’m still up at 1:47 a .m. because after several nights of laying sleepless in my bed I am sick of it and it causes more stress than needed.  I just need to settle in on a little insomnia for a while:)

I’m sure this week will bring many more adventures!

Aloha:)
Mindy