So I moved last Friday to my new house with Hector and Jos. So far, It’s been good, the only problem I have is that we have not been able to put my curtains on the window, but leaving that aside, I feel good.

It’s  been kind of weird with Hector asking at what time I’ll be back, he is like the father of the family

I still have some stuff at my grandma’s house, I hope I’ll find them when I go get them. Sunday I went to get some stuff and I found even my recipes notebook already packed… they sure are happy that I left, until the bills come in of course, that’s when they are going to miss me

New house, new “family”, a new cycle in my life starts. Let’s hope everything goes well and that I don’t regret saying yes to them, jajaja

We are supposed to learn from our mistakes and move on forward and try not to make the same mistake again…but what if ti changed?

Let me explain: Gabriel.

I have never in my life been so hurt by someone as he hurt me,  I have never cry so much and so deep for anyone in my life. No one has ever make me feel the way he makes me feel and the way he made me feel when he left.

Yes, he destroyed my heart but… I am dumb enough to still be in love with him. I recently discovered it… what am I going to do? nothing, let it be. If he still likes me and wants o try it out again, I am not saying no, but if he is only searching for friendship, thats all I will give him.

I can’t help it, I like him a lot, and he can be cute and nice and adorable, fun, caring…. But if he is not the one, what can I do? Keep on with my life, walking forward and never back.

He has changed a lot, he is even more mature now, which brings my question: what if the mistake changed? Could he deserve a second chance if he asks for it? I am not waiting for it to happen, I am just wondering what if?

Not going to stop my life for a man, specially one who does not like me…

Although we might never be together again, I want to dedicate this song to you, my sweet little thing with deep beautiful green eyes…

Endlessly

Muse

there’s a part in me you’ll never know
the only thing I’ll never show

hopelessly I’ll love you endlessly
hopelessly I’ll give you everything
but I won’t give you up
I won’t let you down
and I won’t leave you falling
If the moment ever comes

It’s plain to see it’s trying to speak
cherished dreams forever asleep
hopelessly I’ll love you endlessly
hopelessly I’ll give you everything
but I won’t give you up
I won’t let you down
and I won’t leave you falling
if the moment ever comes

hopelessly I’ll love you endlessly
hopelessly I’ll give you everything
but I won’t give you up
I won’t let you down
and I won’t leave you falling
but the moment never comes

I think I am going to hug insanity for a while… I just lost the little bit of sanity that was left inside my head…

And the worst part of it: I enjoy it

And honoring the ocation, I would like to dedicate this song to insanity herself

“Madness”

The Rasmus

It’s madness…

So, I was thinking about leaving my house and was waiting for Ida to let me know when I can move with her, but things changed unexpectedly…

My grandma really lost her mind and practically asked me to leave the house. From what she said, you can take it that she is doing me a favor by letting me live there.

So, Hector offered me a room which is available right now. I talked to Ida and told her that since I need to move out now, I was taking his offer. She told me no problem you can move with me later on. But this morning she started pushing so we can meet and talk about my moving to her house…

Thing is, I need to get out of there like yesterday, but I’ll talk to her and see what she can offer me and take the best option for me. I need to move out next week or next week, no later than that…

This is really consuming my head, I am a bit worried, of course every new thing that comes to our lives can cause this… I’ll just wait an see, the decision has been taken, I am moving out

So I thought it was a good idea to give men a new opportunity and since Leo was trying to change my mind, why not try with him.

I’ll tell you what, men have really severe issues in their brains and do not deserve to be trusted. Monday I was at Leo’s house, talking to Hector, the guy he lives with. Leo was not supposed to be home until around 10pm since he has a class. Well, he showed up at 7:30pm, he said hello to Hector and completely ignored me.

Yesterday, he didn’t talk to me until it was almost time for me to leave, he asked me not to pass by to say good bye and that he does not want to talk to me ever again and nothing will make him change his mind. WTF

If he is half the man he says he is, he should at least explain me what the heck happened, why he is mad at me. But he is ignoring me. I am kind of sad he is my friend and I love him as such, and yes I wanted to give it a try with him… but forget it, he is soooooo childish that he doesn’t deserve anything from me…

I  think I am more mad at him than sad about the situation… Who do he think he is? grrrrr

You know, is not a good idea to get me mad, I tend to seek revenge in the most painful way… and I think I have a way of make him suffer, at least for a couple  of days. 

According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary,

Pronunciation:\ˈjip-sē\

Etymology: by shortening & alteration from Egyptian

 

1: a member of a traditionally itinerant people who originated in northern India and now live chiefly in south and southwest Asia, Europe, and North America

2: Romany

3:not capitalized : one that resembles a Gypsy.

 

A couple of years ago, I found out I came from a line of Gypsies.  

 

I grew up knowing my great grandam is from Belgium, and that her father was Count or Duque (don’t remeber well) of Brugge. One day, while I was having lunch with some of my cousins and Grandma, she told me: “Definitely everything showed up on you!”

 

I was like   what are you talking about? She then told me that her mom comes from a Gypsy family line and the way I dress, the way I think, the way I move, loving the dance, was very Gypsy. 

 

Now a very big confusion was on my head, Gyspy/Duque

 

My great grandma later told me how her family got the title, but that yes, we come from a Gypsy family line.

 

I’ve done some research on Roms always, I always felt curiosity about them. I then discovered why. 

 

Lately, my “Gypsy gene” is shouting out loud to me, more than it has ever done before, and I think I want to listen to it. Some of the changes I am doing in my life I think…. going back to my roots, maybe I’ll be a better person and would find a way to have what I want and be happy, who knows

 

 

 

So, the comapny is supposed to be implementing the”Human-Sigma” since september-october last year. By doing so, the employee health and needs are the most important since having a happy and healthly employee, the company will produce more (example Google, who does not want to work at Google?)

They seem to somehow forgot about it. As I explained on a previous entry, they are making everyone work more than they can and you can’t say a word or your job will be in jeopardy.

This Monday my blood pressure went down, I almost faint. The doctor told me it was a typical case of “wokitis” meaning I have too much stress due to overworking. I was on her office for about 1/2 hour, she even made me breath some oxygen, but my blood pressure did not raise. She told me not to move for at least 1 hour, so my boss had to take me back to my spot in a wheel chair. 1 hour later I was back at the dcotor’s office. The pressure was not normal, bur was staring to go up. She recommended me to eat something and rest a little. She didn’t send me home because I was in no condition to drive.

Hours later, i was being asked to do extra stuff that I am not supposed to do. I was like “What the heck? I almost die and you want me to do more than I can right now?” Of course I only did MY job.

So I ask, where is the human sigma they were bragging so much about? Killing your employees certainly is not one of the principles for having them happy, or for keeping your company stable.

I’m about to explode and run away from here! I just can’t take it anymore, and I can see may heart is starting to shout for help… As soon as I get a chance to get out of here, I will, and as fast as I can.

“The One”

Kylie Minogue

I’m the one
Can you hear me?
I’m connecting with you
Can you feel me?
I’ll do anything to have you near me
I was wondering, will you reach me?

Would he hear me? would he make use of logic and give me a chance?

Need to play in a different way, his game is logic, I’ll try his game…

Ok, so I kind of told Leo on saturday that I wanted to talk about our deal. Yesterday he came and exposed his point of why it is too late for me to take things seriously: Gabriel.

I have nothing to do with this guy and he is still ruining my life!

Basically, Leo thinks I chose Gabriel over him, this never happened. At that moment in my life, i had no idea Leo had some level of interest in me and I thought he was dating someone. He is all wrong, but he does not want to understand it.

He gave me so many explanations and run around that I ended up not understanding what he was trying to tell me, he says yes but no, but maybe, I think I am sure about my decision but lets keep things as they are, I am taking care of you and will watch my back with you and this friend of mine, but sorry babe no…. double o___O WHAT?????

He is so complicated! why do I keep on running into complicated guys? Why do I love complications? Why I can’t find a normal guy? well, normal will be boring actually… maybe I like challenges and that’s why I end up with the same type of guy…