Take this out of my chest! I love you!

Well yes, my fairy, the one for my belly, just took a short ride in my car.

What I mean?

Easy, my car had an issue (yes another one!) and the money I was thinking to use for my tattoo will be used to fix my dear beloved car.

On the positive side, my car will be running better, I have the money to pay for it, and I have to work on Sunday.

Positive side of working this Sunday: Gabriel, I’ll give him a ride to work and back home

I really enjoy being able to talk with him, give him a ride, make jokes with him… It’s nice and it makes me feel happy! If the chance for us to come back together is there, it will happen when it has to happen, I will not rush things this time and just be patient.

As for my fairy, I will have her in my belly before December, that’s my goal!

I do, for real!

I have finally make up my mind and I’m going to have fairy with me all the time… yep, in my belly, near the hip bone

I’m not sure when I will do it, this week my life does not belong to me, it belongs to 5 guys, lol, to Cardamomo, we have a lot of gigis this week. But next week I’ll go check prices and all and depending on prices… go ahead at once with the plan

Fairies are soooo nice!

Since I got out of my grandma’s house, so many good things have been happening to me, it is as if that house is a negativity focus.

There is a possibility of dancing out of the country, which will be a wonderful opportunity,  and lots of gigs with Cardamomo, plus being a “decoration” on an event Prisca will be dancing… No one asks or complaints because I get home at 5am… everything is great!

I am happy, and I know a lot of better stuff will come to my life. As they say: “It can’t rain 4 ever”

So I moved last Friday to my new house with Hector and Jos. So far, It’s been good, the only problem I have is that we have not been able to put my curtains on the window, but leaving that aside, I feel good.

It’s  been kind of weird with Hector asking at what time I’ll be back, he is like the father of the family

I still have some stuff at my grandma’s house, I hope I’ll find them when I go get them. Sunday I went to get some stuff and I found even my recipes notebook already packed… they sure are happy that I left, until the bills come in of course, that’s when they are going to miss me

New house, new “family”, a new cycle in my life starts. Let’s hope everything goes well and that I don’t regret saying yes to them, jajaja

We are supposed to learn from our mistakes and move on forward and try not to make the same mistake again…but what if ti changed?

Let me explain: Gabriel.

I have never in my life been so hurt by someone as he hurt me,  I have never cry so much and so deep for anyone in my life. No one has ever make me feel the way he makes me feel and the way he made me feel when he left.

Yes, he destroyed my heart but… I am dumb enough to still be in love with him. I recently discovered it… what am I going to do? nothing, let it be. If he still likes me and wants o try it out again, I am not saying no, but if he is only searching for friendship, thats all I will give him.

I can’t help it, I like him a lot, and he can be cute and nice and adorable, fun, caring…. But if he is not the one, what can I do? Keep on with my life, walking forward and never back.

He has changed a lot, he is even more mature now, which brings my question: what if the mistake changed? Could he deserve a second chance if he asks for it? I am not waiting for it to happen, I am just wondering what if?

Not going to stop my life for a man, specially one who does not like me…

Although we might never be together again, I want to dedicate this song to you, my sweet little thing with deep beautiful green eyes…

Endlessly

Muse

there’s a part in me you’ll never know
the only thing I’ll never show

hopelessly I’ll love you endlessly
hopelessly I’ll give you everything
but I won’t give you up
I won’t let you down
and I won’t leave you falling
If the moment ever comes

It’s plain to see it’s trying to speak
cherished dreams forever asleep
hopelessly I’ll love you endlessly
hopelessly I’ll give you everything
but I won’t give you up
I won’t let you down
and I won’t leave you falling
if the moment ever comes

hopelessly I’ll love you endlessly
hopelessly I’ll give you everything
but I won’t give you up
I won’t let you down
and I won’t leave you falling
but the moment never comes

I think I am going to hug insanity for a while… I just lost the little bit of sanity that was left inside my head…

And the worst part of it: I enjoy it

And honoring the ocation, I would like to dedicate this song to insanity herself

“Madness”

The Rasmus

It’s madness…

So, I was thinking about leaving my house and was waiting for Ida to let me know when I can move with her, but things changed unexpectedly…

My grandma really lost her mind and practically asked me to leave the house. From what she said, you can take it that she is doing me a favor by letting me live there.

So, Hector offered me a room which is available right now. I talked to Ida and told her that since I need to move out now, I was taking his offer. She told me no problem you can move with me later on. But this morning she started pushing so we can meet and talk about my moving to her house…

Thing is, I need to get out of there like yesterday, but I’ll talk to her and see what she can offer me and take the best option for me. I need to move out next week or next week, no later than that…

This is really consuming my head, I am a bit worried, of course every new thing that comes to our lives can cause this… I’ll just wait an see, the decision has been taken, I am moving out

So I thought it was a good idea to give men a new opportunity and since Leo was trying to change my mind, why not try with him.

I’ll tell you what, men have really severe issues in their brains and do not deserve to be trusted. Monday I was at Leo’s house, talking to Hector, the guy he lives with. Leo was not supposed to be home until around 10pm since he has a class. Well, he showed up at 7:30pm, he said hello to Hector and completely ignored me.

Yesterday, he didn’t talk to me until it was almost time for me to leave, he asked me not to pass by to say good bye and that he does not want to talk to me ever again and nothing will make him change his mind. WTF

If he is half the man he says he is, he should at least explain me what the heck happened, why he is mad at me. But he is ignoring me. I am kind of sad he is my friend and I love him as such, and yes I wanted to give it a try with him… but forget it, he is soooooo childish that he doesn’t deserve anything from me…

I  think I am more mad at him than sad about the situation… Who do he think he is? grrrrr

You know, is not a good idea to get me mad, I tend to seek revenge in the most painful way… and I think I have a way of make him suffer, at least for a couple  of days.