How fast can someone fall into depression? well, seconds…

Just a few words of the person you care about, and that you are trying to hold on to, and your world can be destroyed…

That same feeling I had 2 weeks ago, that I wanted to tear my heartouytof myself, thathe was able to take away just with a smile and a hug, he can was able to bring it back with a few words….

How can I be so pathetic and still want to try to be with him? I mean, clearly he doesn’t even know what he wants … after all he is a kid…. I knew, I should have kept my promise of not dating kids… all they know what to do is hurt…. and hurt deeply!

why? why does he has to be so charming and so annoying at the same time?

Why can’t he be the man he was pretending to be when he came to me? why he has to be such a coward? why am I so afraid of confronting him?

Why do I feel like I made a bad choice? That I am going on the wrong lane and I am just loosing myself?

I decided last week to live one day at the time… maybe I should decide to stop feeling… Cris said it is not a good idea, and that she does not recommend that to anyone… But at this moment I feel like it will make my life easier… Just not feel anything about anyone… no not anyone…. both of them….

However…. I can’t do anything to fix people’s stupidity, if I was able to do so, I will still be with Diego and about to get married… and I wouldn’t be in this stupid situation with a ridiculous crush on kid who has make me believe in him but doesn’t want me with him….

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

First, my weekend, saturday Idanced at “Festival Mundo Loco”, it was nice, I used my fire fans and people went crazy about them, I have never received so many applauses while dancing, oh and well of course, Cardamomo’s song is just amazing and that helped :p

It was near impossible to get out of there early, and considering my car was half mountain away, it would not have been wise to walk alone back to it, so I just had to wait until the guys decide to go back so they can walk me to my car. That happened at 1:15 am approximately.

A ll my stuff was on Tavo’s car, so I had to meet them up somewhere to get them. That was on a 24hour restaurant, around 3:00am. Yes, it took me 1hour and 1/2 to get out of that terrible place

Since I was hungry, I decided to eat something. I got out of there around 4:00am in the morning. I took Cristibel to her house, and when I was alreadynear my house, bam! A jerk decided the stop sign was not important, and that he can continue his way, and guess what? yes he crashed my car…

The car he was driving is from a newspaper, so the newspaper will pay for everything. Due to this situation and the fact that my brother is out of the country, I found myself in the need to call Diego… The last time I saw him was on January when we broke up…. Well he helped me, we were able to talk, and actually we were having a nice conversation until he mentioned that he missed me, that he still loves me…. I had to walk away, then tell him I do not want to be with anyone right now.

Now about Gabriel, yes I like this kid a lot, he certainly is driving me crazy, but crazy because I don’t get him… Sometimes I think he does want to keep on dating me, some others I feel like he just hates me… and me? well I love those green eyes, that beautiful smile… This morning I was talking to him, and he was browsing this forum he visits a lot. He was reading her blog… what does he care about her now? about her life?why does he haveto inform himself about what happens in her life? Yes I am jealous! She, by the mere fact of existing, is stealing my opportunity to get to know this guy. I even feel she gets more attention than I do! And I am here!

He makes me feel good, happy, and like a human being, he gave me back that feeling… although he is taking away so many others… He definitely did something to me…