So last night I finally realized that Gabriel left, we are not dating anymore, we are just friends…

I wanted to take my heart out of my chest… this morning when I was driving to work, I cryied and cryied, trying to make it disappear, as it was all a bad dream, this can not be happening, I want to be with him.

Then I arrived at work and I received a message from Diego, saying that no matters what happens, he is still my friend and that he will be there for me for anything I need.

Wow, I thought about calling him last night, it was as if he knew I want to die. So I answered back and he asked if he could call me, to which I answered yes.

He called, and for the first time in what? 5 months, we were able to talk without fighting. I must admit it was nice to hear him and to know that he is ok and that we can talk.

If I was confused before, now I just don’t know what I should do. I thought that I was over him, but I just realized I haven’t. I felt the impulse to tell him, Hey let’s meet up! but what for? to hurt myself more than what I am now?

I am hurt, of course I will search for a safe place, but I might come to the wrong place, so I need to keep calm… I just don’t know how, but i will find a way… someday