Why do we have them?

I really hate to have an existential crisis…. my feelings get all mixed up and I don’t know what to do….

Today my feelings have been going up and down like  in a roller coaster, at the same speed…

I thought I had them under control, but once again, they have betrayed me and they are the ones who want to control me…

I wish I could stop them, I wish I could have more control over them….

I wish I could have been able to control them so much that I never said what I said… I was not thinking on the consequences that would bring along… I just got carried away by my feelings…

But, what’s done is done, you don’t cry over the spilled milk, you clean it, move forward and get some more milk.

And who said it was over any ways? I can still fight for it, I can still try to erase her from his mind and the hounds she cause him, because I am sure all that fear he says he feel are all based on her, on what she did to him, and on how much he loved her and that he has not get over her yet…

He said he felt like he is living under Diego’s shadow… well he is judging me under her shadow… God damn it! I am not her, I have no intention of playing around wit his feelings and hurting him…. I have no fake face!

I am being myself, giving myself to you, to show you there are better things in the world the same way you showed me that…

If it wasn’t because you were there in a critical moment of my life, if it wasn’t because you remembered me who I really am, if it wasn’t because of your support along the way…. I just don’t know where I’ll be now…

How could you tell me one day, please let me be with you and the next day you tell me, sorry, I am not able to answer to your caring … How can you do this to me?!

I know he might never read this, but, as the title says, this is where I express some ideas I need to take out of me….

Well I guess I should go back to work… *sigh*