Why are boys so confusing? One day they say they’re deeply in love with you, the next day they become the complete opposite. I’m not trying to offend any of my male readers, but 我的天阿! Girls have hearts, don’t go missing for an extended period of time, making us wait and worry about their freaking well being. My heart goes out to Pam, this blog goes out to her, don’t let a stupid guy get you baffled okay? You’re better then that, you don’t need to wait for anyone, especially if they don’t even give you notice. I just hope that no one, boy or girl, has to deal with the bullshit (excuse my bad language) that society has pretty much dropped on us, love and freakin’ relationships. Don’t get me wrong, I completely adore relationships, my relationship with Prince has been freaking amazing, but at the same time, my old relationship has gained me some insight in love. All I can say is that love is bitter and sweet, and the most unfortunate part is that it can go either way , or even both in the same damn relationship.
The worst things, in my opinion are blind relationships. The kinds where you think you know a person, and they end up being completely different. I don’t mean image wise, but I mean like personality. I just think that sometimes love can really affect a person, because they don’t know what they’re getting into. It affected me, luckily it didn’t really do much except break my spirits a bit. Now my relationship with Prince has been going on for 5 months, since August 18th of 2008. I don’t know how long we’ll last, but if anything, I’m hoping that we can. I have such high hopes, but if anything were to ever go wrong, I’ll still always love you, my Prince. I want to be able to pick myself up, all those broken pieces, and be able to regain a grasp on my life. That’s my main advice to anyone who wants to jump into a relationship, or is in one. If it’s a steady relationship, and you are looking to do drastic things (moving in together, settling down, etc) if anything, always be ready to pick up the pieces. It’s never bad to have a backup plan. It’s never bad to be independent. Prince can make as much money as he wants, he can spoil me rotten, but I want to know I can also live fine by myself, that I can spoil him (I wish rotten) with my own money.
On a more positive side, I finally got some business done and found my calculator. How exciting. My day was kind of bland, just going to school and yeah. Mondays and Wednesdays for me are a little more on the boring side, but atleast I get to hang out with friends.
I think that the whole love post is so random. But,

新年快樂!
Happy Chinese New Years!

I hope everyone had a good one. I also like to thank all my loyal readers, my counter has been going since January 22nd, 2009 and I already have over 100 unique hits. I love you all and I hope that my random blogging doesn’t bore you to death. I know I’m not the most interesting person to listen to talk, but I’m glad that you find the time to comment ^^ Oh yeah, all comments I try to reply to, whether via on your blog or maybe your chatbox.

By the way, please comment if you have the time, all the ♡s I have are those kind posters and readers, I will link your website, or simply just your name. I just want everyone to know who those kind people are, Thank you ^___^

Questions for those who like questions:
What did you do on Chinese New Years?
If you don’t/didn’t celebrate Chinese New Years, what did you do instead?
What are your New Year Resolutions (for both Lunar and Western calendars)?

Thank you to all those people who find time to come visit my blog whether through my commenting on yours, or other sources, I can’t stress it enough but-
Thanks a ton again,

Ariel
我愛你楊大龍♥蘇曼莉
2009年1月27號,星期天,半夜12:47

【AяieŁ】♡s： Kat, Kissliin, Teerateera, Ms. Candyblush, Shaina, Gel

So, lately it’s been crazy and hectic. Lots of drama has happened. You ever get that feeling like, you’re trying to say something, but for some reason it comes out horribly wrong? That’s how I feel. It’s weird, how emotions work. One moment you’re purely in love, the next you’re fighting for the relationship. It’s strange how the smallest things can cause the biggest problems. I always thought that I could pull through everything, but it seems, oddly enough, that love is such an incomprehensible concept for me. I can say what I feel, but in the end, somehow I screw it all up again. I’m the most irritating person to go out with, I could swear.  I love my 寶貝 to death for handling me. I know I’m impossible. Thank you for being a trooper and living up to my crazyness ^__^ I can’t really describe how much I love you. I will just say that 我真的愛你寶貝,你是我的王子. 我最愛你!
I wonder what I should do on  Valentines Day… I love you lots 寶貝, what do you want on Valentines Day? Maybe I’ll surprise you with a big gift. Or do you want more clothes? You can never have enough clothes! I like to buy him clothes, I bought him a white shirt and bright blue jacket for Christmas. Maybe I should get the pink shirt this time… It’s Valentines Day xP Ohhh. Big 6 is coming up! Half a year with him will be soon. Amazing huh? I loveeeee him so much. It’s crazy how long we’ve been together. I never expected to be with him for such a long time. When we first started going out, I expected that he would give up on me after a month. But damn, is he a trooper. He’s a pretty sexy one too. Stay away ladies, he’s all mine. RWAR!
On a brighter note, people are handling my graphics so well. I haven’t really touched Adobe in ages. 謝謝大家! My confidence went up hahhaa. Well, because of PUREEE confidence, I’ll post up another preview of my graphics. If you want to use it, feel free, but credit me back!

Do you like them? I am so lazy that I don’t feel like coding. Anyhow, thank you for all my awesome readers, you are all dolls! Oh yeah. You’ll see the actual layouts and stuff on a graphics website ;] I’ll give more details when we’re up and running ^__^

我愛你楊大龍♥蘇曼莉
2009年1月25號,星期天,早上5:14

【ａｒｉｅｌ】♡s： Kat, Sindra, Chi, Rina, Gel, Starsong, Ripplecloud, Dee, Sweet_Strawberries96

So the most I’ve really done today was some blogging at school haha. Never got to post it up, so I’ll do that first.

I always thought school was boring, although, now I openly admit it. I’m sitting in class waiting for the bell to ring. Just, tick-tock, tick-tock. How boring. Pencils scratchingo n the tables, erasers rubbing the shit out of papers… Once this bell rings I’m home free! Yay. No more finals, 我的天阿! I’m so relieved. I have a field trip to an architectural firm at noon, fun eh? I’m still unsure of whether or not I want to go into that field, but I’ll check it out anyway. I’m so relieved finals are done, but damn, freaking out about semester grades. Now I have to study for Japanese. おはようございます、good morning. I’m so ready to drop dead, 我的王子你再哪ㄦ T___T, save me. At least the semester’s over, what can I say. Anyone have any goals in mind? I’m just aiming to graduate this year. What, four more months, 加油 Ariel! 我可以做阿! (I wish!)
at 9:15 am in Government Class

Anyways, back to the exciting part! So, I’ve gotten off my lazy bum and have started to get off my lazy bum and actually create graphics and designs again. Shocker eh? I’m not sure exactly of when I’ll start launching off my designs for everyone to use, but they’ll simply be little layouts here and there. I’m unsure of whether I will be hosted on a subdomain or if I’m going to buy my own yet, so I’m not going to release the designs yet. But since I love my readers, I’ll let you see a taste of the first design I made. Feel free to use them, but if anything please credit them back to me. I’ll let you see the banner and avatar, in some cases people can use them on forums xP

Do you like it? It’s the basic representation of the layout, hopefully people enjoy it. Feel free to use them, just credit back to me please ^___^ And I’ll release the actual layout once I figure out how I’m going to host a graphics site. My blog, I’m planning, will also move to that same domain.

我愛你楊大龍♥蘇曼莉
2009年1月22號,星期四,下午3:41

【ａｒｉｅｌ】♡s： Sweet_Strawberries96, Authentik (x2!)

So my boyfriend and I decided to create pet names for each other, mine is Ariel.We got our pet names off of famous couples, in this case,The Little Mermaid.我寶貝是王子, he didn’t like the name ‘Prince Eric’ so we directly translated it to Chinese. Today, not much happened, the main thing is probably that I decided not to go to school. This week is my finals week and, well, today the only class I had to go to did not have a final. I figured, might as well sleep at home instead of waking up to drive to class, sleep in class for two hours, then driving home to sleep at home. Besides the typical boring high school classes, I went to my Japanese class today. Today was the first day. 我的天阿, I almost didn’t make it into the class. Luckily about 10 people didn’t show up so I made it :] I feel bad for the other 20 people who had to sit on the ground. Now, the main thing I have to do is study my Japanese terms and memorize the first 10 hiraganas:

• あ: a
• い: i
• う: u
• え: e
• お: o
• か: ka
• き: ki
• く: ku
• け: ke
• こ : ko

I already feel semi-accomplished being able to write them down. Now I have to study to read them xD I also learned numbers, it was interesting to find out that kanji pretty much was Chinese characters. I read kanji in Mandarin now Dx Along with studying the basic hiragana I also have to memorize tons of greetings. Good luck to me and time to buy the book ;-;

我愛你楊大龍♥蘇曼莉
2009年1月22號,星期四,半夜12:58

 Come read my little story, it’s called 【a love story】. It’ll be updated, it’s posted on the side under stories :] Here’s the first paragraph. It’s not really in a story format, but it’s just what happened. A very kind person is writing up the events in a real fun/comedic romance story format, but this is the straight, what really happened version :]

We met over the summer in a college course/class, his name is James. I had come in pretty early and sat in the far front right corner and waited for people to come in. I came with my friends, 4 other girls - all of us were high school students. After everyone got settled, James walks in. He’s about 6 foot 1, so the first thing I thought was - “Holy shit! It’s Godzilla! and he’s late.” And then I paid him no attention after that

我愛你楊大龍♥蘇曼莉
2009年1月15號,星期二,晚上08:57

It’s interesting how much of a difference it makes from one year to another. 2008 in review was so hectic.

January 2008
At this point in time I was still in love with my ex boyfriend, we were crazy about each other at this point of time. It seemed perfect, I felt happy, in love, amazing.

February 2008
This month was pretty amazing, it was our three months, and Valentines Day made my heart melt. He made me fall deeper in love with him, to the point of no return.

March 2008
After a wonderful two months, in late March came major drama. At this point in time, I was torn to break up with him so he could go find a real girlfriend that he could spend time with, or to selfishly keep him to myself. I decided to let him go.

April 2008 - May 2008
I was still good friends with him, talking to him a lot, confiding in him, yet not seeing him as much. I was somewhat upset about not being with him, but I still spoke to him very often and enjoyed it.

June 2008 - July 2008
These two months was a major headache. Toward the end of May and early June, he decided to stop talking to me, ignoring me. He would answer my calls less in June, always saying he was busy and at a friend’s house. In July he completely stopped talking to me.

August 2008
I was still getting over him, mainly because I paid him a visit and he decided that he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. At this point in time I met my new and current boyfriend, a fellow classmate in my class during the summer. He offered to give me a ride home and to school very often, and even took me out to ice cream in the mornings or after class. He was very sweet and kind, yet at the time I thought he was just being friendly. In August, he had asked me out. I was still unsure because of my recent break-up, but after waiting a while, I accepted. We started going out August 18th, 2008.

September 2008
I was incredibly overwhelmed, mainly because of the new relationship, and trying to completely let go of the old one. My boyfriend was kind, caring, understanding, and was okay with little slip ups of wanting to talk to my ex, or wanting to see him. My boyfriend was okay, still upset, but understood I was in a dilemma. During September, I was getting over my ex completely, and disregarding him as any kind relation to myself.

October 2008
After much drama, I got over my ex. My boyfriend and I were very into each other, and we fell more and more in love. He was always in love with me, from the beginning, after I figured I was completely over my ex, I dedicated myself to him as much as I possibly could, 100%.

November 2008
A semi-rocky month, mainly because it reminded me of my ex, very much. November 13th, 2007 was when I started going out with my ex, so November was a painful month. It slightly reminded me of my ex, and even my ex wanted to contact me again during that month. It was both difficult for myself and my boyfriend.

December 2008
Things cleared up, the whole ex thing completely disappeared after November. Now it was just my boyfriend and I, that’s all that mattered. A little jealousy happened during this month because his brother came back, and his mother stole him away for family trips. It was a bit lonely, but at least I got Rhino in return.

January 2009
Finally, the new year. Things are looking up!

The past year in review was interesting, but it’s alright, emotion is why we’re human.

我愛你楊大龍♥蘇曼莉
2009年1月13號,星期二,晚上05:15

So, today has been a bit interesting. Besides the typical boring school day, lots of drama and uncovering of relationship problem as well as retelling my story of love. Love seems to be so simply thrown around, “Oh, I love that skirt,” “Oh for the love of (insert deity/etc here),” “Thanks! I love you!” But, how do these relate to the original three words we all know? “I love you.” In the Wikipedia article about “Love” we get the definition:

Love is any of a number of emotions and experiences related to a sense of strong affection.[1] The word love can refer to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes, ranging from generic pleasure (”I loved that meal”) to intense interpersonal attraction (”I love my girlfriend”). This diversity of meanings, combined with the complexity of the feelings involved, makes love unusually difficult to consistently define, even compared to other emotional states.
As an abstract concept, love usually refers to a deep, ineffable feeling of tenderly caring for another person. Even this limited conception of love, however, encompasses a wealth of different feelings, from the passionate desire and intimacy of romantic love to the nonsexual emotional closeness of familial and Platonic love[2] to the profound oneness or devotion of religious love.[3] Love in its various forms acts as a major facilitator of interpersonal relationships and, owing to its central psychological importance, is one of the most common themes in the creative arts.

Love is such a strange thing. To me, I’m still trying to comprehend it myself. Wikipedia makes it sound so complicated - in which it is. For me, what I’ve discovered about love is simply:

Love is absolute trust.

With my old relationship, it was serious, passionate, but in the end it did not work - even though we were madly ‘in love’ with each other. Why? No trust. Trust is the biggest part of a relationship, without it, the ideas of “Is he/she cheating on me?” “Who is that?” and the issue of believing in one or another is completely down the drain. Without trust, jealousy will play a big part and break up any perfect relationship. My old relationship was that of: seriousness (to the point of talking about the future), passion, and first-love. He was my first love and my first boyfriend, we were so attached to each other, but in the end it died. Old flames? Gone. Why? No trust.

Although my love life seems desperately down the drain, it actually took a slight change in course and now I’m in another relationship. My new relationship happened so quickly, to the point I had made him wait 3 weeks for me. His patience, care and trust in me has made me such a happy person. He had been there for me through the harsh ending and remains of my last relationship, picking up all the pieces for me. He didn’t know about the breakup at first, but once he found out, he became all the more caring and trusting. He tells me it’s okay to discuss my ex with him, that it’s okay if I’m not completely over my ex, that he wants to know what I’m thinking even if it involves my ex. His absolute trust for me is significant, and so much more then my ex had. My ex would not have gone out with me knowing I was not completely over another guy. My boyfriend now is so trusting, so caring, just simply amazing. My boyfriend has so many reasons to break up with me, yet he didn’t - because of trust.

Love only exists with absolute trust. Without trust, there cannot be love.

That is my simple, yet detailed explanation of this term.

Unfortunately, I’m still figuring out the details of love.

Still confused and in that ‘puppy love’ stage.

我愛你楊大龍♥蘇曼莉
2008年10月14號,星期二,晚上11:53